


Put it in my back pocket (And I'll read it when I'm alone)

by VilleneuveStGrgs



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: F/F, here be ya coffee shop AND bookstore AUs all in one, i'll try to keep angst and possible triggers to the minimum, with the usual gang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-06-27 21:50:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15694059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VilleneuveStGrgs/pseuds/VilleneuveStGrgs
Summary: With half a mind still reeling from the flight, the transit and all and every other restless fit of sleep she’d managed to squeeze in-between all that hot mess, Therese strolled her way slowly towards Rue de la Bûcherie. There, she would have some catching up with the staff team working for Shakespeare and Company: an old bookstore filled day in, day out with tourists and bookworms alike – both loyal customers and the actual squirmy little creatures nestled somewhere in the oldest books they could still keep around on display.





	1. Shakespeare and Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left a long endnote down the page so for now I just hope that you'll enjoy this first chapter!

Lugging her suitcase along the corridors of the Saint-Michel metro station, Therese heaved out an inaudible sigh – uncomfortable upon seeing all the crowds of people rushing and mingling around in this late August heat. Fresh out of the airport earlier, she'd safely tucked the old New York – Paris boarding ticket into a side pocket of her handbag. She figured that, well, while it was now just another piece of paper as she boarded onto a metro car for the commute into the city's center; if anything it could always serve the sake of her sentimental, hoarding heart.

With half a mind still reeling from the flight, the transit and all and every other restless fit of sleep she’d managed to squeeze in-between all that hot mess, Therese strolled her way slowly towards Rue de la Bûcherie. There, she would have some catching up with the staff team working for Shakespeare and Company: an old bookstore filled day in, day out with tourists and bookworms alike – both loyal customers and the actual squirmy little creatures nestled somewhere in the oldest books they could still keep around on display. She walked on wearily, head filled with a mental to-do list:

  1.  Checking in with her former coworkers – now turned employees. Despite all the numerous messages they'd sent her way throughout the acquisition to keep spirits up high, she still wasn’t able to be chill whenever stray thoughts came rolling back toward the way it all had shifted, turned, changed and made her anew all within the spell of a few summer months. All thanks to pure luck in the shape of legal inheritance from her late estranged mother.
  2. Then another trip down the metro line.
  3. Bless the powers that be, sweet sweet rest would be a dream come true the moment she could escape the world to set foot inside her little apartment a little ways away from here…



Now, if she could just brace herself, tackle on one thing at a time and get all these things all done…

As Therese turned onto the little street where stood her now somewhat-of-a-business-establishment with Dannie being the first friendly face she could recognize, finally a genuine smile began to take its turn to blossom over her features.

“Yo lil’ boss, what’s hot?” – Dannie grinned mischievously, nodding at her from when she was still a few feet away, head bobbing along standing outside to arrange the secondhand books onto those green little shelves they kept on the pavement to attract passersby.

“This weather, Dannie boy, though please stop calling me your boss! I’d hate for it to become a habit and before we know it, I’ll just have to go all hard-ass corporate on you now” – Therese jokingly threw back her own retort, all easy and glad to be within proximity of her friend again. Tête-à-tête with hands thumbing absentmindedly around for the comforting feel of books and papers almost as if no time had passed at all since their last encounter, Dannie came by to stand next to her: Customers swinging back and forth all around them, slowly perusing the stands in all expressions of concentration as the duo fell into a sort of a bubble of companionable silence.

Not so many years ago they were standing exactly right here the first time they met – heads tilting left and right to make out the titles of books piled against one another, rows after rows in no discernible order – when they came to catch each other’s eyes with both faces parallel to the ground in an imaginary taco eating contest... Taco-all-you-can, they still teased each other 'bout it from time to time whenever the old topic came up... Since then, time and space had been very carefully put up as a wall between Therese’s past and current lives – in such a way that he was much too aware that her latest journey had been taxing; both physically and emotionally. After all, there was a reason why... _why_ she’d fled off to Paris for university the very moment she could, seemingly half a lifetime ago, and had never once glanced back to where her home country still stood... Until recently, of course, back to those tired old things that'd been so pretty once upon a time, now all lay rotten. ( _Oh, how pretty, there, all shining._ )

Anyway, at any rate she'd finally gotten back here after leaving it all well and truly behind once and for all, and damn her if they weren't going to make it count for this was all that would matter from now on: her master program, her little dwelling and the handful of people she could gratefully call friends.

Dannie peered over for yet another moment, pleased with what he could gather from her demeanor: sure, Therese looked a little bit tuckered out, but it was some long flight after all and for all that it was worth; he'd never forget the nights they huddled close in her little studio at the beginning of summer with booze as well as a legal – thus too impersonal and cold a thing for his liking – letter lying on the floor stating that she now truly had no immediate family left... Oh, not at all there: estranged, alive or otherwise. With no need to cry over spilled milk from his part and, yeah, sure as all hells Therese didn’t look like she wanted to start on any aspects of that either, he decided to push forth on some light chitchat

“So I came a bit early for my shift for Richard to be let off before your arrival. He means well though, as far as I know, but we both know that the boy has no actual tact... I literally had to shoo him out the door before he could even open his mouth to ask you 'bout souvenirs... So what do ya know, there’s just Gen all the way in the back with the art books and Phil and I will see to the front and the counter. You should go around, take a peek to see which new titles to import now that you kinda run this place and everything… What do you say, Tee?”

_Easy now, Terry, one thing at a time, your bed will still be there when you get back. Easy peasy, Terry._

Therese nodded her head yes, humming along to some imaginary tunes before dragging several ominous-looking Stephen King books out onto the display table.

“Hey, I just set up that side of the shelf!” – With no real heat behind his words, Dannie complained and promptly burst into light laughter when Therese impishly winked at him in response – “Let’s get spooky, it’ll be September before you know it... which means that basically it’s Halloween now is it not?”

As they were going back and forth, she saw Dannie distractedly flicker his eyes over to something a little ways past her shoulder – and so she turned around, around only to catch sight of a little girl going out through the front door of the café right next to the bookstore while squealing excitedly:

“Really Auntie Abby? I can really get that? But Momma said that I could only bring Mister Caterpil-ya home next week!!!” – Therese raised her eyebrows at that, amused with the source of the voice standing a few meters away: attention all honed into the little face that was shining with pure delight and happiness. Next to her stood a woman with fancy shoulder-length dark hair who was currently trying really, really hard to keep their stealth plan from falling apart; gathering the pleats of her light summer dress under the back of her knees to crouch down to brainstorm with the child

“Baby, in English two L’s don’t make a long Y, so you should call him Mister ‘Caterpillar’. And we really do have to keep your voice down, or Momma's going to swing right out from her counter and glare at me to my death and we don’t want that now do we? I have to stay alive to buy us some of that ice cream down the road afterward!” – At the sound of that, much to Therese’s amazement the little girl’s face got even brighter than earlier – shining and automatically bringing a soft smile onto all the adults within earshot. The energetic duo was happily approaching Therese and Dannie’s direction now: the woman’s hand on the tiny shoulder staying sure and gentle much like the way you would have to steer a little bug-looking Volkswagen car, Therese was absolutely certain. Gentle reminders of the person in charge and whatnots.

“Coucou Rindy, looking for some books again? And hi Abby, I won’t tell anyone if you won’t” – Dannie greeted them good-naturedly, somehow succeeded in winking conspiratorially at both of them at the same time before turning to Therese – “Oh, see I totally forgot to tell you, we have some new neighbors. They just took over that café next to us some weeks ago, sooo here is Abby and here's her goddaughter, the ever so wonderful Rindy!”

At that, Rindy turned her face up to Therese in a non-verbal question, almost beside herself with curiosity but still managed to remember not-to-talk-to-strangers, the whole nine yards. Dannie continued – “And this is Therese, she’s my boss now!” – to which Therese blushed profusely. Abby raised an amused eyebrow at the young woman's demeanor – “Well, technically she bought some shares, and since Mrs Robichek – the actual owner – had gone on vacation, Therese here now runs the whole place.”

At the little piece of information introduced by Dannie, Therese hereby became Rindy’s latest eternal idol. Abby let out a guffaw upon seeing her goddaughter’s love-struck expression, her own body language mellowing out now that she'd seen that Rindy had decided to take to the seemingly sweet young woman and vice versa: she'd successfully had everyone within this proximity wrapped around her lovely, if a bit grabby, little fingers (though the last part hardly came as a surprise).  _My, such interesting neighbors we do have!_

Clapping her hands together after a few more pleasantries, she gently ushered Rindy inside to go pick up The Very Hungry Caterpillar. In the meanwhile, Therese had started to wander around, too, straightening up random books here and there for a bit before getting on the computer to check on the routes of pending orders and the likes of it – feeling refreshed now that her fatigue had seemingly vanished after chatting with the duo.

A smile lingered around on her face even as Phil attempted to use her luggage as a swiveling stool – sliding back and forth inside the tiny cashier’s corner while tending to their small crowd of customers. Even as all numbers on the Excel sheets started to make absolutely no sense. Even as the euro-US dollar exchange rate made her want to chuck the whole computer screen out the door. Even as–

“I’d like this, please, Thereeze!” – A confident little voice pulled Therese out of her warped daze, and upon looking up, the duo from earlier was back now with Rindy perched on Abby’s hip this time so she could put her arms onto the counter just like any other adult customer. They came bearing the colorful book with a drawing of the infamous chubby worm thing on the cover, waiting to be scanned and paid – at that, Abby snorted softly and repeated the name’s syllables into Rindy’s ear. The little girl pouted slightly before addressing Therese again, all breathy lisps and everything, a concentrated little frown forming between both brows yet still oh so bravely confident

“Miss Té-rèse, can I and Auntie Abby please pay for Mister Caterpillar for me to bring home to my Momma?” – Phil by now had completely stopped his make-shift rolling chair to tend to them, equally as transfixed with the little girl since the very first time the staff team had crossed paths with the newcomers a few weeks ago: everywhere she decided to step foot to, Rindy’s joy for life seemed to brighten up all corners of the streets and then some more. Abby gazed on proudly, started to dig around her handbag for the purse when Therese sprung back to action – quickly blocking the scanner’s eye with a palm as Phil passed the barcode in front of it.

As he turned to her in bewilderment, Therese with a burst of spontaneity directed her dimpled smile at Rindy:

“Mister Caterpillar will be my gift for you so enjoy your new book and tell me all 'bout it the next time we meet again, now won’t you, Rindy?” – The little girl in question let out an excited giggle, voiced loudly as her dark blond locks of hair swished around in a dance of happy movements – “Thank you so much!!! Bye-bye, Therese!!”

 

-

 

After Abby had led Rindy away with a last round of thank-you-that-was-so-kinds, a whirlwind of demands for Amorino’s mango ice cream from the little girl their last trace down the street (firm but still very polite for a toddler), Therese tried to focus back on management with numbers and product codes spilling all over their accounting books. When 6PM steadily rolled around with a few more Excel spreadsheets to be run through, she finally let out a yawn powerful enough to get her all teary-eyed admitting exhaustion. Gen caught on to that like a spark, having emerged out to the front again shortly after the duo’s departure

“Go on then, Tee, go home! The whole thing will still be here tomorrow, you seriously look like you need some sleep, stat!”

And so, well, Therese went back home, didn’t even bother to unzip her luggage as she stripped out of the day’s clothes to be able to feel the comfort of raspy sheets settling against bare skin. Upon reaching her well-worn trustworthy bed, she fell into a state of deep slumber and dreamed of falling in love with the most mysterious, sweetest kinds of books this shiny brand-new life of hers had to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first time writing something this long that isn't meant for the comfort of my diaries. As far as personal consumption could and did go, after some years I ended up with too many spare words to properly fit into my daily entries, so this naturally came to be because these ladies' love is particularly healing to me :)  
> I personally thank all the other authors that have written before me! You all have given me entertainment and valuable reading material/literature for break-time distraction away from college and life in general. I hope now you'll get something good out of this story too.  
> I think I am deeply influenced by Anaïs Nin in lots of dimensions, so I hope no one will be vexed by that. I should also mention Pipestone's influence on me! Your novel-length work deserves praise!! I hope I'll get over my shyness soon to maybe interact with you in length, but for now I hope you're on your way to get your health back. Cheers to you.  
> As for the story, I hope I'll be able to convey the lightness of a modern romance. I guess I'll steer it to have the least amount of possible triggers, and for eventual intimate scenes to make sense, for writing and reading should be safe in all aspects in my opinion.  
> The title of the story is from Vulfpeck's Back Pocket. It's a nice pep-in-your-step kinda pop song, and my username refers to Villeneuve-Saint-Georges, a little Parisian suburban zone I used to live in 2015 - 2016, around the first time I watched this movie. All venues/establishments mentioned here exist in real life.  
> Thank you for your attention :)!


	2. Au café nommé 'La Bûcherie'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was not every day that Rindy decided to like someone for the girl usually was polite with everyone’s conversations but ultimately shy... Well, not unlike Carol herself when she was much younger, the way she had been before puberty – before growing up and having to mingle in with social crowds, all the chitchats with manners and behaviors required on the young girl from the affluent Ross family… Before everything. Consequently, it was much, much less frequent that her daughter liked someone well enough to mention with such enthusiasm like just now.
> 
> Therese, Therese, _Therese_ ,... Carol squinted her eyes, quietly testing the name with the tip of her tongue.
> 
> She decided that she liked the way it swirled and curled like air, like a breathy sigh out of her lips. She liked it very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave translations for the French phrases used by our ladies along with the endnote (full of my ramblings...!) :)

Holding in her hand a paper cup of half-eaten mango and yogurt ice cream melting together in swirls under the late summer afternoon heat – courtesy of Paris yours truly, Abby watched with a smug smile as she strolled into the café again with a few steps behind her lovely goddaughter. Just as she had predicted, Rindy was now running straight towards the blonde woman sitting behind the bar with her little hands fluttering around, cheerfully bringing everyone’s attention towards her newest book… the very same one that her mother had agreed to only buy by the end of the following week. That – and also under the stern condition that Rindy stayed a good girl and knew how to cherish her picture books and collections of toys, lest she not care for the value of hard-won money in this strange, strange city they’d only settled down not so long ago.

But why such conditions and precautions? Rindy fit into the new environment wonderfully, Abby thought as she marveled at the ease in which the little girl seemed to have grown so much more mature in such a small frame of time… Between packing up all belongings to skip to a new continent far far away from Ridgewood – just mother and child – and settling down with this café and their new apartment near Javel void of old bothers and problems, by the time Abby arrived half a month later to support her dearest best friend slash business partner, Rindy was already thriving in blooms.

_Wonderful, golden-hearted child_ , Abby mused to herself, _the most wonderful of all gifts two people could possibly grant each other no matter how doomed the marriage did end up being_. Her gaze now shifted to her best friend: a tall, slender woman with wavy silky blond hair who was currently setting the girl down onto a high stool and adjusting its seat's height so she'd sit comfortably – squirmy with excitement as they began to read the first pages of the colorful book full of pictures and childlike silliness. _This new start had better do them all some good,_ she uncharacteristically prayed to herself – to thin air, to whoever up there that was willing enough to listen.

As if sensing Abby’s pensive thoughts, the woman in question looked up just in time to catch her gaze, throwing forward a glare with squinted eyes the beautiful color of a calm deep lake. Her feigned exasperation was clearly to be read as a threat (“You spoil my child too much there you nitwit, what did I just tell you!”) but despite all grounds and rules she could muster up trying to be a correct parent to Rindy, by now they both knew that absolutely no-one could escape the brilliant charm of her little girl: no more than four years old but already on sure paths to conquer this whole world’s hearts everywhere she stomped tiny feet onto.

“Heyyy there Carol, miss us much?” – Abby dismissed the half-hearted tension between the two life-long friends to go sit down on the customers’ side of the bar counter: head propped up between her hands to look at Rindy who was now focusing on figuring out the simple words with her brows furrowed in endearing concentration.

Absently fixing up the way her simple black dress draped over both shoulders, Carol slid a fresh latte across the bar top to Abby and made light conversation

“I can’t believe little Rindy here will start preschool soon! Soon enough she’ll learn to read big words and ask to stay all day there at the bookstore next door. Oh, whatever am I going to do without you keeping me company, huh sweet pea?” – At that, Rindy let out a bright string of cackles, little feet swinging and thumping joyously against the wooden bar: innocent the way only a child could be face-to-face with adults’ teasing voices. Carol’s heart promptly melted at the sight of her daughter, so carefree and pure; wishing that she could somehow capture this moment to distill her love, put a print of a photo of it in a heart-shaped locket to keep it warm and alive against her chest for just about forever...

“Silly Momma!! I’ll stay with you for-ever and ever!” – Face bright with earnest promises, Rindy stressed the last part of her statement and attempted to snuggle as close to Carol as possible without falling off of the high stool – drawing a light chuckle out of Abby’s throat. She pulled her daughter in, heart warm with the child’s confident conviction: Lithe fingers reaching up to push stray blond locks of hair away from her tiny forehead so she could continue with the caterpillar’s adventures.

“We ran into the owner of that bookstore earlier in my sneaky plan to get my goddaughter what she so rightfully deserved, _just so you know_ ” – Abby chimed in with hands gesturing towards the new book, earning yet another round of Rindy’s pearl-like giggles and a pair of eyes rolling up, up, up toward the sky from Carol – “And she actually offered this book to Rindy without charge! Just how charming the youngsters can be these days!”

Raising an eyebrow at the brunette’s antics, Carol turned to her daughter for confirmation

“That’s right Momma, Miss Therese gave me this book! Will we go see her tomorrow, please Momma? Pretty pleeease??” – Rindy wiggled in full-body excitement at the prospect of seeing her newest friend again, beyond pleased with herself for having correctly pronounced the name this time, ‘the French way’. She bobbed her head up and down, nodding to herself and willing both adults to agree with her.

“Did she now? And what did you say to her when you received the book?”

“She did Momma, and I saaaid Thank you!!” – Rindy stressed importantly, displeased that her Momma could even _think_ for the tiniest of seconds that she could so easily forget to use their magical words – “You told me to always remember saying Thank you and Please!”

“That’s right, my sweet girl!” – Carol gazed lovingly at her, raising one arm up to comb the girl’s fluffy hair with the tips of her fingers, pleased that at least she'd done _something_ right when it came down to parenting and raising her own child. On the other hand, she was genuinely surprised by this turn of event: It was not every day that Rindy decided to like someone for the girl usually was polite with everyone’s conversations but ultimately shy... Well, not unlike Carol herself when she was much younger, the way she had been before puberty – before growing up and having to mingle in with social crowds, all the chitchats with manners and behaviors required on the young girl from the affluent Ross family… Before everything. Consequently, it was much, much less frequent that her daughter liked someone well enough to mention with such enthusiasm like just now.

Therese, Therese, _Therese_ , Carol squinted her eyes, quietly testing the name with the tip of her tongue.

She decided that she liked the way it swirled and curled like air, like a breathy sigh out of her lips. She liked it very much.

Brought back to reality with Abby pointedly clearing her throat and peering over with curiosity, Carol realized with a start that she must’ve spent far too long lost in aimless thoughts. All at once, she turned to Rindy – Rindy who now was studiously tracing her little fingertips along all curves of the green caterpillar: big blue eyes still looking up at her like a puppy dog waiting for an answer.

“Of course my little pea. We’ll go ‘round to thank her one more time tomorrow, how does that sound?”

“Yay!”

“Now come on, I’m starved! Let me go make another round through the café to say goodbye to everyone before we go home now. How does pâtes au saumon for dinner sound, my darling girl?” – And with that, Carol stepped down from the stool – ruffling Rindy’s soft hair as she gestured with a wave of her hand for Charles, the general manager, to take over until close time. With a new pep in her step, she glided all over the place with grace, not missing Abby’s delighted snort ringing through the place upon hearing Rindy’s indignant voice “My hair, silly Momma!!” coupled with her face turned reluctant at the prospect of eating delicious creamy pasta with the weird-smelling pinkish salmon fish.

Her fingers hastily reached up to bring the mess of hair into order again as Auntie Abby put her new book back into the paper bag: that one with the drawing of a funny looking Mister sporting a big beard. She had no idea why her Momma insisted that she must learn to eat all kinds of yucky fish… vi-ta-means… or something like that, she did recall hearing adults talk about it once or twice throughout the tiny but very important 4 years of her whole life.

 

-

 

Therese blindly reached the small cobblestone street the following morning – in dire, dire need for a huge cup of coffee and then some more. Jet lag was still toying round-and-round with her systems, though with her mind dredging up mental reminders of pending orders and shipments after every other minute of lounging around in bed, she reluctantly put on some fresh clothes and stepped outside onto her way toward the bookstore. Stumbling into the café next door as it was still a bit too early to go open up Shakespeare and Co., she squinted at the flat roofs of that Notre-Dame Cathedral located on the other side of the river while waiting for a waiter to notice her.

“Bonjour madame, quelque chose pour votre matin?” – From somewhere behind her seat; a silky, silky voice rang out making all previous thoughts of book cargos and architecture trends vanish right into thin air. With her back snapped straight up in attention, Therese chose to ignore the weird rising of goosebumps all over her arms as she felt a silhouette start to move into periphery coming to stand next to her table.

Chancing a glance up to look at the face belonging to that lovely voice, Therese widened her eyes in astonishment the moment they settled on a rouged pair of lips: curled lightly in the shape of a casual customer-service smile. A wide mouth, seductive and ravishing. A lovely nose framed by high, elegant cheekbones and some faint traces of laugh lines – not a single detail unlike beauty itself. A blur of blond hair so wonderfully poised and styled, so ethereal that couldn't help but push all surroundings far into the background – forcing everyone who dared look her way to focus on her and her alone. When she finally reached her way toward the newcomer’s eyes, it amazed her to realize that the most beautiful shade of grey-blue she had ever seen somehow also seemed to reflect and wordlessly convey the deep rumbling shift Therese felt from some corner of her core the longer she stared into those eyes. All of a sudden, she couldn’t quite find her own words... _What did she just ask me again? Her French has some lilt to it, what does it remind me of? Who... who is this woman now?_

One jerky movement from a customer flicking his croissant flakes off the nearby table brought both women out of their trance. Therese blushed something fierce as she moved her gaze strategically away from the mysterious woman’s face – eyes blinking rapidly to turn her other senses back on. Too overwhelmed with feelings she couldn’t yet put a name to, Therese missed the subtle way the other woman also had to slightly shift her stance and force herself to calm all features.

“Um, bonjour, je prends un café crème s’il vous plaît. Avec du sucre, si c’est possible” – Therese patted herself on the back, pleased with her feigned cool though both traitorous eyes were still oh so stubbornly stuck on those soft waves of the woman’s blue dress. Mentally, she traced the way silky pleats fanned out slightly below the slim waist – gently drooping to accommodate all twists and turns of daily movements. _Is it normal to feel such degrees of fascination towards a piece of fabrics? Does anyone else react like this the first time they see another person? The first time they see this woman in particular?_

“Bien sûr, un café crème tout de suite” – Almost as if the tiniest moment of being frozen on the spot had never taken place, the waitress swiftly restarted her body back into motion, returning inside in a swish of silky blue dancing in their morning air.

Left to her own devices for the time being, Therese kept her eyes fixed on choppy tops of the trees enveloping the river’s bank – unblinking as she digested what had happened just now. Always a keen observer, she'd spent countless hours idly enjoying nature and scenery, things and places whenever she went outdoors: be it the daily metro trips to get to the Sorbonne building for her classes or the rare times she came to join a friendly get-together, taking simple pleasure in seeing the way a tree would shake lightly against the wind for example. Or the way pigeons would hop around on each cobblestone to move through the span of those few feet instead of just taking flight, independent to the movements of pedestrians looming all over them: nothing but a stream of giants to their tiny beady eyes...

Or, say, the way rain trickled down her apartment’s window in the evening; drop after drop rushing in competition, sinking the furniture into such deep burrowing silence that she had to dig her own way back out lest she started to grow quiet forever too – just like those four walls surrounding her life.

Well, the ‘problem’ with a cozy – but just a little bit too still and dull a life in the heart of Paris, as Dannie had coined it, was that after a certain moment Therese seemed to have lost all her (previously already minimal) interest in lively, living human beings. Tried as they might, the Shakespeare squad had never succeeded in setting her up into their respective groups of friends for her to branch out her own social horizons: sure, she could get up to be quite lively and the language barrier was just not a problem for the former new-yorkaise; as she was bright and studious in all efforts to thrive since her arrival in France a couple of years ago. She'd show up at those house parties and chime in enough for people to be entertained within the window of a couple hours, but ultimately she just never seemed to want to keep in contact with anyone new afterward.

With enough data gathered to form a pattern: here Therese sat, baffled with this newest observation that she was for once curious about an actual person – a certain _someone_ with a pretty dress and an even prettier face that seemed to be calling out for her.

_What would her face look like under different lights, different angles? Would her shade of blue eyes still shine amazingly if this summer sun was to retreat away all at once – now, now? How would her mouth shape and mold itself into a huge happy smile? Could I ever witness it? And that dress!! What I wouldn’t give to capture it through my lens!! Oh, the way it'd look on film, on Polaroid, on whatever I can get my hands on... Pastel blue against this stark bright sun, maybe I can even shake the camera a little for it to blur all around the seams… Make it look like icy blue is melting slowly into the background…… Maybe I can..._

“Et voilà, un café crème pour vous” – Shaken out of her stray thoughts, Therese turned her idling away from the trees’ green little leaves to zoom back onto the blonde she’d been musing over in all discretion: one hand setting a ceramic cup down Therese’s nose. Overwhelmed with blue all up in her sight, the smell of milky coffee brought her out of her train of thoughts as she noticed some movements from the corner of her periphery – Phil was waving at her with half his body already stepping inside the bookstore. Oh, there, she must have spent like a good half hour thinking of nothing else but this woman – the realization came to her with a small, wee tiny start for they usually started the first shift at nine-thirty.

Following her eyeline over to Phil, the waitress hummed softly like velvet – “Ah, vous connaissez le monsieur là?” – Therese bravely squared up to catch eye contact again, brain rushing all over the place for a certain amount of matters to be able to memorize what she saw. Surprised beyond words to notice that the professional customer-service mode was no longer hung in place as a simple but genuine smile was now shaping those red lips toward both sparkling icy blue eyes; she pushed – pushed and pushed all strange thoughts aside to make conversation

“Ah oui, on est collègues! Ça c’est Phil. Notre équipe est pas énorme donc on s’entend assez bien” – At that exact moment, a staff had the nerve to run out from the back, catching the blonde woman’s attention about something with the cooked ham sitting in their stock room. Blue irises reluctantly cutting their eye contact short by flitting over to digest the words, the waitress turned on her heels and started to leave with a trace of hesitation diffusing through her stalled-still frame.

"Allez, bonne journée mademoiselle" – Stiffly, she made a vague gesture with her hand at Therese in the form of a wave; the movement seemingly so out of place, so not-casual that made her wonder whether her waitress had ever really been the type of person who just didn’t know what to do with their own body.

Her coffee now irrelevant, Therese attacked it without really registering either the smell of the drink or the way it tasted down toward her throat. At the sound of ceramic bumping together as she set the mug down onto its coaster after the final sip, she pushed a five euro bill underneath the ashtray to get going. Walking over to the bookstore, Therese stepped upstairs to reach Aggie – the owner’s cat, sole resident of establishment slash unrelenting stealer of hearts. Petting the soft fur, she came across a vague knowledge that some part (all lit up, all warm) inside her heart was trying to whisper that something incredibly huge had indeed taken place just now.

But... well, now, the thing was... she genuinely just couldn’t place it for what it was and the thought was slowly, slowly rushing her toward something oh so close to stir crazy.

“Oh Aggie, you didn’t even warn me!”

Aggie just looked at her, like really _really_ looked at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bonjour madame, quelque chose pour votre matin?" - Morning ma'am, would you like something for your morning?  
> "Um, bonjour, je prends un café crème s'il vous plaît. Avec du sucre, si c'est possible." - Good morning, I'll have a café crème please. With sugar, if it's possible. (I have a feeling that Therese would prefer sugary sweet coffee with milk in this modern AU, plus café crème was something French people taught me, almost just like your usual café au lait/cappuccino really, but servers in Paris would always repeat that order with a funny sound - un cah-fe crehm-me??? with the crehm-me's intonation rising high up into the sky, almost like a tentative question are-you-really-taking-that?. I think Therese, being American, would maybe be endlessly amused by that quirk.)  
> "Bien sûr, un café crème tout de suite" - Of course, one café crème coming right up. (I imagined this in Carol's impossibly seductive voice, stressing the syllable for 'right' so so low if she was to speak English to Therese here. Imagining her voice saying 'café crème' was a particularly pleasing fantasy, too...the way she would push certain words high and airy :).........)  
> "Et voilà, un café crème pour vous" - Here you go, one café crème for you.  
> "Ah, vous connaissez le monsieur là?" - Do you know that gentleman?  
> "Ah oui, on est collègues! Ça c'est Phil. Notre équipe est pas énorme donc on s'entend assez bien." - Oh yes, we're coworkers! That's Phil. Our staff team isn't a big one so we get along quite well.  
> "Allez, bonne journée mademoiselle." - Have a good day, miss.  
> -  
> I think it's kinda important to include the distinction between the formal ma'am used by Carol to address Therese before their interactions, and the miss by the end. I set Therese at 22yo here, in the summer before the second year of her 2-year Master program in Paris. I don't think I could put her in a private specialized establishment for photography for it would cost way too much for her budget before this story begins (thus the whole thing about the inheritance will); around 10000€ - 20000€ annually for tuition fees alone, not to mention monthly rent and utilities and f o o d; straight out of the home back in America with little to her name, financially. The French public system for universities makes you pay only around 500€ a school year for tuition fees, which makes a huge huge difference, so I figured that would be a more logical choice. This would make it even cheaper than going to college in America, I think?  
> And so for the...aesthetics, I'll create a photography program for Sorbonne Nouvelle with lectures taking place at the La Sorbonne building, so she conveniently could work nearby at this Shakespeare and Company bookstore. You can go onto Google Maps to see just how close her work and studies could be with this arrangement! Anyway, Carol would be 33 here, and I think it's important that she considers a bit about the age gap between them, hence the shift from ma'am to miss - if anything, I do want to be consistent to the movie, as it was discussed by Abby, and later, I think, turned into a bit of a complex upon seeing Therese's body during their first time.  
> And Aggie really lives upstairs in the bookstore, I come to her for comfort and snuggles all the time. Here ya can have a little picture of her face:  
> https://shakespeareandcompany.com/g/6184/aggie-the-bookshop-cat-postcard  
> I hope you've had fun with this!


	3. Un Intermezzo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything in front of her eyes one soft blur of a dance now; Carol wondered if they could possibly lead her for this intermezzo, 'round and 'round, too, just so she didn’t have to think about so much all the time anymore. And if luck so very well decided to pay her a visit by today’s afternoon, then maybe she’d be able to find some much, much needed calm and answers came the end of a last twirl as she came up for air – breathless but satisfied.
> 
> Sated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ye shall enjoy this piece :)

Standing outside of La Bûcherie while waiting for Abby to drive Rindy over, Carol pointedly tried to peel her eyes away from the bookstore’s front after every other half minute or so – to no avail so far. As she sneakily puffed on a cigarette since the only 2 people who would dare challenge her bad habit were somewhere on the road together (thus could arrive any minute now), she took some time to try to oversee the midday staff team rushing around a few meters away from where she stood; and let all thoughts roam as they so pleased to take shapes and figures all on their own.

While she was quite glad that this hot summer heat would bring itself to an end within another couple of weeks, along with the changing of seasons would also come the fact that Rindy was to start preschool so very soon... Would fly straight out of her nest in the form of her mother’s overprotective hugs: soar in one brave burst of a cackle, too, that one, Carol was absolutely positive.

_But is she truly ready for the new environment? What if she’ll feel lost, untethered, plucked right out of familiar scenes of Ridgewood only to be planted here without a say in the matter? Will she come to her own mother if she ever needs it, be it guidance, direction or even just the simplest of hugs? ...Now, my darling child is already catching onto simple French without being prompted… that must mean something akin to a promising start, right…?_

Indeed, it actually was just last night that Rindy had raised her fork up to declare clearly – but almost monotonously, as though she'd learned it by heart carefully, syllable after syllable for the sole intention of boasting to her Momma

“Maman, j’ai fini mes pâtes!!!” – A gleeful glint had shone on Rindy’s features then: victorious that she’d stolen her attention away from the steamy dishwasher with just a simple, oh so tiny little trick. After a flurry of giggles and kisses placed all over Rindy’s cheeks and forehead, Abby had shown up in their apartment only to whisk her away with the two of them whispering to each other about plans for a ‘big girls’ night out’ – conspiratorially so, right under Carol’s nose. _Oh, how times have changed, and all the tables have turned_!

Staring wistfully now at the finished butt of her one cigarette, the one that Antoine had slipped her way after the conclusion of Ham Crisis™ (which, in all honesty, turned out that they only needed to crisp each cut up a bit around the edge for it to deliver a light crunch, just enough to turn the soft smooth consistency of the Eggs Benedict served on top a tiniest tad more exciting), she tossed what was now left of her 10 minute skit of guilty pleasure onto the ground. Squished off the last seconds of tobacco flame with half a twist of one heeled ankle, practiced and practical. _So, that’s that_ …

Already so so bored with recipes for brunch come each and every weekend, Carol finally let her focus zoom out of the usual lunchtime rush of her employees making their ways through the open terrace to tend to customers. Everything in front of her eyes one soft blur of a dance now; Carol wondered if they could possibly lead her for this intermezzo, 'round and 'round, too, just so she didn’t have to think about so much all the time anymore. And if luck so very well decided to pay her a visit by today’s afternoon, then maybe she’d be able to find some much, much needed calm and answers came the end of a last twirl as she came up for air – breathless but satisfied.

Sated.

She decided to settle for a simple reason to appease herself, blaming on this damn sun for getting on her nerves: all thoughts all over the place jumbled and directionless. Her focus once again glued to the bookstore a little ways to her left with stubborn eyes roaming all over its façade, she briefly wanted to consider her subconscious being in this strangest feat of infatuation.

Checking her wrist for the time, Carol went down the basement for a tiny minute in her own company far away from the crushed little filter, currently on the ground guilt-tripping her in its own way – hoping that the staff restroom’s ventilation would at least take some of this cigarette smoke clinging all over her clothes away. Almost the moment to finally venture into that strange, strange place with Rindy, now.

_Maybe when I do meet this ‘Therese’, the owner that Rindy kept gushing all over all of yesterday, I can just go ahead and ask her things about that curious girl with eyes the color of the luckiest of all four-leaf clovers..._

_-_

Past the threshold with Rindy in tow and Abby’s farewell as she settled down behind their bar still ringing full of mirth somewhere near her ears – “Don’t do anything I would do now, and remember to have fun!” – Carol dared a glance around the yellow-lighted bookstore for the very first time. It really did have a cozy little touch to it now didn’t it: almost… inviting, pulling her heart in closer; and whatever it was that she had expected prior to this, wandering deep in her head staring at her own reflection down in the basement’s water closet, it simply was just wrong… _Wrong_ , but simultaneously oh so very correct, too, somehow, and it all made for an oddest of balance that shifted her reeling.

“Oh hi Carol! Hi Rindy!! Are we here for Rindy or do you want to take a look to find something for yourself?” – A foxy-looking redhead – Gen, she vaguely remembered having heard others call her by that name, turned to smile at them with books after books and after even more books piling all up her arms. Carol blinked slowly at that, suddenly unsure about just how exactly to explain the whole thing to the young woman now: unsure if yesterday and today would warrant causality or just some correlation at best.

_Or would that technically be ‘at worst’?_

She winced a little, swimming in one strange moment of second-guessing; feeling so out of her elements.

“Hi Miss Gene-vif, can you show me the way to Miss Therese?” – Rindy: darling child, her North Star, the sole reason she could thrive as a woman slash single mom in Paris, piped up, looking all excited and hopeful. Carol smiled faintly, admiring her daughter’s innocent earnestness, unparalleled bravery and all other big-worded wonders, wondering if she could start trying to don those very same vests onto herself some of these days.

“Oh sure, come down the back a little to the left, she’s been around the children’s corner since morning! Oh! And can you do me a favor and tell her that she needs to go get some food, please please Rindy?” – Gen chuckled with a cheery nod at Carol, the simple gesture feeling somewhat like just yet another ‘Remember to have fun!’ before promptly burying her head back into the endless list of inventory.

And so there they were, making way across the bookstore all the way to the back with Carol now having considerably relaxed in the company of shelves after shelves full of books. Signature icy blue eyes flitting over all the collections of covers running through-and-through like an ever-shifting Rolodex, she was glad to confirm to herself that at any rate, she'd feel comfortable if Rindy wished to frequent this place trying to explore her own world. And did she correctly catch a murmur from the crowd that there was a whole floor of reading room upstairs? My, now _that_ was refreshing!

Almost waltzing right into the art books’ room directly in front of them – courtesy of yet another moment of that thinking-too-much predisposition of hers, it took Rindy to tug softly on her arm to recognize the cozy children’s corner on a slight turn to the left.

“Hi Miss Therese! Do you remember me?” – Rindy started, seemingly on a roll today, and it took Carol something like a quarter of a moment to zone on into the person that was standing with her side facing them – currently with one hand reaching to a rank of shelf past her head, soft face determined, and the other one resting on a lower rank to keep stability... Slightly tiptoeing on feather-light feelings.

For all of Carol’s unblinking staring at the bookstore from outside her café from earlier, all the ...thinking and planning and whatnots, she had only run through just the one scenario in which she was to gently charm some middle-aged owner into maybe telling her the name of Café Crème Girl – the visual still glinting in the back of her mind, Modigliani’s picture perfect. _A face tilted down, deep deep eyes, background blurred in the fit of a haze wrapping ‘round some all-encompassing strange thing that just left you wondering._

Sure as all hells, she simply just couldn’t have raised the hypothesis that the elusive Therese was Café Crème Girl, as well as the opposite direction of this equation should Café Crème Girl turn out to be ‘Therese’. Put it in a way, she just wasn’t sure what to make of her damn head today, now that was that on _that_.

Therese, _Therese_ , turned to her and everything suddenly felt slowed down: soft and sure. Why had she been so foolishly nervous all of today again? For this actually felt so... _easy_. Like a jigsaw puzzle piece fitting into its place with the sound of a snap of cardboard. Therese turned to Carol and planted something new, something very pretty, right inside of her with just the simplest shock of eye contact. 

_Oh, this shade of emerald green... I’ve been thinking of your light, you know?_

(If she was to reach out to touch her face right this instant, would it feel like fine smooth clay? Malleable yet tight, Modigliani’s ardent feel for his muses laid down onto the eternal canvas, green dripping absinthe sitting on a sculptor’s stand. Like running into a stranger walking down a narrow road, so one would have to brush one’s shoulder against the gray stone wall to be able to walk past and think over that raspy muscle memory until the end of the line.)

“Oh morning to you Rindy!! Of course I do remember you! Did you enjoy reading about what Mister Caterpillar was up to?” – Therese fluttered her bright eyes with a hint of a blush, turning down to face Rindy. Her child was absolutely beaming now, looking like she had just discovered something big, could very well be even bigger than herself.

“I did!!! He really just ate everything!!!” – Head hung up like she would look at her favorite moon, Rindy giggled and swung her Momma’s hand to and fro in all excitement. _Oh, no more doubt if she truly is my daughter, now._ Carol stepped up then, a little brave, a little relieved, a lot like she had just found something for herself in the crowd. She could remember this feeling forever: she realized, soft and alive, no less curious than before but amazed that that weird funkiness was now all gone.

“So it was you, Miss Therese,” – Therese’s eyes snapped back up at that, staring once again right into her eyes. Surprised by Carol’s voice, maybe... Or maybe she had just been waiting for the right moment to show herself, too, – “Thank you so much for that wonderful book yesterday, you’re a star for that!”

Their mirrored smile touched each other like one new promise, first of many.

 

-

 

Halfway out of the door for lunch – _lunch_ with this woman and her child, with Phil gaping at her from the counter, with just about everything else in-between; Therese realized a beat almost too late that she hadn’t even caught this woman’s name. She had literally just glided her way in to stand before her, all beautiful and mysterious: a fully carved mirage, and oh, in that blue dress of all things! Had stared at Therese like she would read a particularly satisfying book introduction to end, had just smiled and asked her to come out now to join them for lunch. 

__

Something strange had sat itself in her at that, Therese found, and so she just pushed forth a soft “Oh, yes, of course”. Stood and followed the duo out into the bright light of this early afternoon. Of course, of course.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "J'ai fini mes pâtes!" - I've finished my pasta! (pâtes au saumon, the dish that I mentioned last chapter, is actually just simple creamy pasta topped with smoked or fresh salmon. Since I don't think lots of kids would enjoy the fun of cured fish, I made a point that Rindy only mentioned her eaten pasta waiting for Carol's compliment, for children can get quite sly :) ...)  
> -  
> I'm truly in love with Edward Hopper's paintings' influence in the movie, especially that big lonely-in-the-middle-of-a-huge-city feeling looming all over their surroundings, but within the context that my work is set in Paris, I think Amedeo Modigliani's eyes for what he loved would serve a bit better! As the focus is still new and still transfixed on each other alone with no other details in the mental portraits they take of each other. If you haven't heard of him, you can visit these links  
> https://www.projectarm.com/modigliani/  
> https://www.dessinoriginal.com/fr/-peinture-20e-siecle/7424-catalogue-d-exposition-amedeo-modigliani-l-oeil-interieur-9782070178674.html  
> for a quick scroll for his particular shapes for the neck and face and general preferences for body-build, and apply his style onto Rooney Mara's performance for Therese. I imagine that Therese would fit right in his list of muses with that chin, short hair and thinnish frame! Something about the green shade of absinthe reminds me of great passion, and Therese's eyes alike, too, which I don't think are two separate things for Carol :D  
> Wikipedia has a very detailed page for him, and I think Carol, with her niche-ish taste, maybe would really enjoy his life and career :D  
> -  
> I also hope that I've pulled off writing 2 different POVs, for they operate completely differently, and of course they choose to focus on different aspects of one same moving thing, so anw Carol was much harder for me to move around!  
> Have fun, y'all :)!


	4. Laideronnette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese smiled a yes, please at the blonde woman's recommendation – so surprised that for once she wasn't feeling the usual looming need to stare out to the trees all alone anymore now. If anything, she had found herself already starting to wonder what they would look like sitting inside one same rectangle, could Abby’s mental snap of a photo ever get printed.
> 
> Used to be one: just herself, for too long to really dwell on; now two, and with the way the two of them felt already slotted into a one something since the beginning, Therese couldn't help but be just so giddy with all these brand new sentiments.

Stepping outside onto the pavement, Therese heard with her ears, saw with her eyes, and felt with all the (very strange, much to think about) peeping goosebumps on her skin the way the blonde had her dress twirled like one soft half touch of a music note, turning just slightly to the side to ask Rindy

“Sweet pea, what did you and Auntie Abby have for lunch before you got here? Are you still hungry?”

“We had mac and cheese with broccoli, but I didn't like those bits!!! I knew that you'd be sad if I didn’t finish all my veggies and tried to throw them away, so I asked Auntie Abby to help me. Momma, did I make you sad that I'd done that?” – As her face angled up to peek for a response, Therese tried to search for something: There, there it was. A connection to the blonde in a most peculiar of ways... faces almost hung on by rays of light. Let light fit pieces of resemblance to her mother over soft and delicate features. Truly lovely eyes – Therese'd mused a thousand and odd words to herself there standing in front of the pair but ultimately sharing nothing of her thoughts, for she had always known for a fact that eyes could always hold for miles more than mere loveliness: not just that, not just that. So much more still, definitely.

“Oh no baby, I’m not sad because at least you did try! Will you try even harder to eat more the next time to make me very happy?” – The blonde murmured – “Now do you want to eat anything else with me and Miss Therese?”.

“Yay!!”

With an amused glint in her eyes, the blonde turned back to Therese to drop a light wink. Like an old inside joke for linked hearts, like seeing a familiar face from across the street willing for red to fall to green for them to be able to meet halfway, like– ...Breathlessly, Therese felt like she'd run out of pretty words to offer over to the blonde woman before she knew it, unless she learned how to catch her breath orbiting this dance sometime soon – the single motion of that wink, for all manners of descriptions, had sent her heart out onto a fun trip of flutters. _Might have to regroup later with Aggie the Cat to figure some of this out, maybe_...

In the end, Rindy wandered off to the general direction of that brunette from yesterday (Abby; the name had clicked naturally, and yeah, okay well maybe Therese did manage to keep up alright after all, not yet losing it after that hell of a jet lag) – Abby who had been in the middle of flipping through some accounting books from behind the bar counter, a high stool already propped up waiting and ready next to her seat. They all smiled at each other at the intersection of eye contact, hands hoisting the little girl up to settle all within a sure singular move. Muscle memory efficient, smooth and familiar... Therese came to think that maybe she envied that sometimes, oh... Sometimes like right now...

Abby’s soft face had grinned at her in recognition at first, pretty chill, but then caught movements within a blink – almost with a question mark, Therese saw her flit eyes to the blonde woman currently sitting down across the table. Zipped back to her so quick. Panned out with curiosity, now, trying to capture the big picture, she wondered if that just wasn’t the case: the newest scoop, maybe a photo of her with this (still unnamed, darn it!) woman and the damn table separating them by probably the _longest_ arm’s length ever ever seen… Waist-up-please, and could you please please include all of this special buzz ringing in the air between us right into the frame?

_Hmmm. Now I’m just being strange..._

“May I ask just how hungry you are? We do have a mean rigatoni alla boscaiola here, if that should please you...” – As her lovely companion spoke up first and completely ignored Abby’s burning stare from across the room; Therese had to school her features when their eyes met again – coming face to face with the way her rouged pretty lips curled to the shape of an O... If it would be so soft to the touch...

Therese smiled a yes, please at the blonde woman's recommendation – so surprised that for once she wasn't feeling the usual looming need to stare out to the trees all alone anymore now. If anything, she had found herself already starting to wonder what they would look like sitting inside one same rectangle, could Abby’s mental snap of a photo ever get printed.

Used to be one: just herself, for too long to really dwell on; now two, and with the way the two of them felt already slotted into a one something since the beginning, Therese couldn't help but be just so giddy with all these brand new sentiments.

It was, of course, Abby who personally brought her pasta out from the kitchen in deliberate slow motion and a thousand of seconds of flourishes; presence still stalling around as the great, great smell of pancetta reminded Therese that she’d only just had that one lone café crème since earlier this morning. (Oh, in a way it somehow felt like so many calendars had already passed since then...)

Her companion quickly caught on to Abby’s being weird – glanced straight up with suspicious eyes for a fencing game of glares.

“Sooo Therese, that’s your name, right, how are ya enjoying your meal? Would you want some more pepper? Parsley??............Oh, some ketchup to mix in???”

“Morning Abby, and no, no ketchup please, thank you. And... you do... see that I haven’t tasted it yet right?” – Therese looked up to her now, too, curious about this little scene with herself somehow sitting right in the middle of it all. Sure enough, Abby’s grin was still right there: a Chesire cat with proper good cheese taunting... _Should I be alarmed??_

“Right!! Right, of course, sorry, I totally got ahead of myself! Enjoy it now will you, and I’ll be just riiight there right over the counter!!”

Shaking her head slowly like she'd been expecting exactly just _that_ , the blonde turned to Therese the moment Abby got the first meter away from their table – turned and softly whispered “Excuse us for that please Therese, Abby is just… strange… I may have to ban her out of here forever.”

Therese settled back into her seat – easy living now, and saw the beginning of a slow, open smile spread over her beautiful face the longer their eye contact kept: icy blue just turned and turned. She fumbled with her entire self at that: grabbed at the fork just to have something, anything at all to do with her palms that wouldn’t fuel this already uncanny air surrounding the both of them.

A calm beat – “So Therese, tell me how you’re liking your meal now?” – Her companion asked in great leisure, one palm under her chin with its fingertips spanning all the way to the corner of an eye: red nail polish one shock of fire ‘round icy blue. The wind picked up around their world at that, it seemed; and Therese suddenly felt very _brave_ : gave all her time in the world to chew, chew and stare right back. Nodded yes to the outstretched hand asking her to join, now, up with the on-going stage dancing.

“Oh, yes it’s wonderful, thank you so much. Actually... I’m so sorry for this... but I don’t think I’ve caught your name?”

Red lips even wider and so much more dizzying – “I was starting to wonder if you’d just never ever ask. I’m Carol, Carol Ross, so very very pleased to meet you...” – Her eyes picked up a new shade at this, melodic drawl a blending brush to show something new within all that blue – “And would Miss Therese here have a last name...?”

“Oh of course, it’s Belivet. I’m Therese Belivet” – A single second, enough for them to put on one brand new song – “It’s Czech originally, but I’m all the way from New York to go to college here. It’s been some years now, actually.”

Another beat of a smile, this time surprised: this time just a touch deeper in thought.

“My. Now if that’s not _something._ Took us all those miles to be able to sit here, now, didn’t it?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, nothing really. Oh, well what I meant was... We're from New York, too, Rindy and me... Ridgewood, if you will... But it truly is all so far away, now.” – Carol glanced up to meet her eyes halfway at that, and she looked like she'd been wondering too, this entire time, now that Therese could actually start to think for a wee bit. And, oh, yes, Therese was also in the middle of a fleeting thought, thought that it was strange that sitting here helped New York and all the ‘previously’ stumble further and further away from her hands. Maybe...

_Maybe_ one of these days she could even try to hold and to have something new, something never-before, if she so wanted to.

_Could it be now?_

 

-

 

Meal finished in contentment and one whole catalog of slow, lazy cat-like smiles coming from Carol, as Therese reached for her bank card – force of habit, a couple of things happened: a sculpture showing itself for applause from beneath the stone.

Fingertips grazed her wrist with just the slightest weight, a most feather-light of gestures and Therese felt the exact same thing she did this morning when she’d heard Carol’s voice calling out in French from behind her seat. Then, her voice; now, what she wanted to say without a single sound escaping those sinful lips. First of many, an elaborate play for all her senses, Therese curiously felt the sharp urge to take more from this woman: _take_ and see if all the things she could steal would be of gold, gold like the Rubáiyát.

“Oh, please, don’t be silly now...” – That shared smile again and Therese felt her skin flush hot like she was under a brand new sun.

 

-

 

Afterward, much to the chagrin of every single person in that space – directly involved or otherwise for Carol could just _feel_ Abby's hawk-gaze eyes still wandering over, Therese told her with the softest voice that she had to go back to tend to a newly arrived shipment. One hand had started out, then, slid across the tablecloth just a small inch of space away from Carol’s ready, set, yes-we-can-go-now fingers; one show of touch-shyness just before she stood up and that was that. Carol, still changing on her own axis now, decided to sit still for a bit, decided to trace a finger on the ring of her cup of black coffee. See where the circle would lead her to: no more sugar needed, she smiled in private with the on-rolling whispers of her heart.

Her phone buzzed with a new message, buzzed in its insistence and pulled her out of lovely pink pastel reenactings of her most recent list of top favorite moments

Abby: ?????

Carol stared at it in disbelief, looked up into the short distance where Abby was sitting so still with eyes strategically glued to the screen of her phone

Abby: Hello best friend of mine

Carol: ?

Abby: What’s up???

Carol: Abby you’re like 10 steps away from here... And no comment.

Abby’s face popped up in a dash, slid down right across from her and settled snugly in Therese’s former seat: the whole play and then some more. Carol cringed at her speed, thought that maybe Rindy would become a real handful as a teenager if they were to keep steady the pace of sneaky hang-outs far away from her surveillance.

“That sure looked like something, honey pie!”

Carol groaned – “Abby, I know that _you_ ’d decided when we were in middle school that _we_ would never need personal space, but don’t make me kick you out now”

Abby was still flashing her smug grins, but graciously took a moment to look back at Rindy’s bright face at the bar whose concentration was deep into her new book. Turned to examine Carol’s eyes peering down into her coffee. Maybe she’d managed to figure out whatever it was that she was looking for – Carol wondered, when her dearest friend shaped her teasing eyes into something so gentle. She wanted Abby to tell her in length, then, tell her what it was that she'd found when the two of them were sitting there together.

“You gotta tell me aaall about it someday and you know it, and you owe me one, missy Let Me Run Away From My Shift Real Quick!!”

Carol let out a light laugh, smiling gratefully that Abby had decided to give her some more time to figure herself out. Gratitude, and a smallest cut of giddiness still astray from earlier, too. As her friend started on her tales of all the things she and Rindy had been up to last night – neither too much for a four-year-old nor illegal, thank her lucky stars, Carol turned her mind over to new feelings: all of them blooming simultaneously like a join of hands on instruments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have Spotify, here is the link for the version of 'Laideronnette, Impératrice des pagodes' (Laideronnette, Empress of the pagodas) that I chose to push my thoughts around to for this chapter  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/7JuPcHbm8LHfifWpCif0c5?si=6OseJSdJQ0q1dr2v--EJHQ  
> If you don't, I think this version might work too, if only just for the fact that it was a two-person play. It kind of lacks the overall ...well-rounded feel, but it's still great! I luv looking at that lady just going to town all over the piano.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VNEYSG0hxY  
> This piece greatly reminds me of the opening tunes of the movie, how the first 5 - 7 seconds are repetitive, running 'round, in a way, and then as another player comes into the center of spotlights - hop, it all changes, now full and in-depth and twists and turns of life are actually welcome, now, instead of just...awaited... We welcome them in union, instead of just see how things'll play out. I hope it's a nice piece of music for you!  
> Another choice that I had in mind was 'Les entretiens de la Belle et la Bête' (The conversations of Beauty and the Beast), but after having, like, some sparkling water to think things over, I guess it was just a tad 'too intense', but anyhoo, here ya go. :)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/0luKuMq7h6HzywfBQcZIVQ?si=xrQ7v2V5RMi86y-Yf8v3gA  
> or  
> http://dailyclassicalmusic.tumblr.com/post/59092924443  
> -  
> Enjoy!


	5. Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese was marching right up to where they were – unexpectedly but completely welcome, a dazzling sight for sore eyes. Her gaze was seeking out something in the air surrounding Carol, determination read both a question and its decision.
> 
> Slightly out of breath.
> 
> But wasn’t her bookstore just right next door the last time she glanced over… which was an hour ago? And what was this thing Carol was feeling, this sensation that was stirring up all over inside seeing her in such a whirlwind of motions like this: what on Earth was in her head now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

Therese caught Dannie near the stairways leading up to Aggie’s Land several days after that lunch, walked over to him right as he was giving one of their corner shelves a pensive look – the one that Mrs Robichek had wholly given over to crime fiction. One step, two step; she hadn’t even planned how to start, how to get Dannie to see what she meant… Not that she was in any way so sure of herself either, just for the record. Now that she had to think it over, she couldn’t really recall if she’d ever been all-in certain about anything in her life, anything at all other than the rectangular view she’d always had through her faithful camera lenses.

A new friend maybe? Yes, of course, hard _oui_ there thank-you-very-much, friendships were always welcome for Therese had always had a knack to find a pretty thing or two out of just about anyone. Dig it out and make it all hers to look at. Nonetheless, well,... there was this one small persisting problem in the system for she supposed that nothing was perfect: the world currently held 7,6 billion people last time she’d cared to check – a smidge too many, there – already including 2,5 million all around Paris… and maybe a couple of dozen of year-round Sisters in the home in which she had had to rebuild her entire life, her world up from handfuls of half-burnt scratch. So many faces, right? And yet, _and yet_... it was almost as if people hardly ever wanted to listen to her. What her memories whispered all over her ears whenever she saw a happy family walking past; how she really felt seeing her thrown pebble wake a lake up from its dormant life, rings and rings of water spreading in waves. Now which was which, she hadn’t been able to decide for herself... Did the pebble not ask, not even once, and just take and take all at once or did its lake willingly receive something given, something new? Having people hear her was all nice, easy and swell, but did anyone _listen_?

Therese stepped forward slowly.

For what it was worth, the Shakespeare squad was great in all honesty for a little group of coworkers-turned-friends: they invited her around, brought her the occasional cold brew... the likes of it. They even tried to listen to her... yes they did, tempers and silences alike – but did they understand?

_Well, give them some credit now won’t you,_ she chided herself. They tried to try, at least, and that counted for a lot already. (It wasn’t as though she was by any means the simplest person this world had ever come across.)

Dannie had always been there for her, that much was true, so what if their upcoming conversation didn’t get to be oh so mind-blowingly insightful? She could still have some more time to stall; could still maybe go take a walk to mull over all contents of her head before literally barging straight into that café. The temptation was almost too much to handle now, all of this was making her walk a little weird.

“Hey there Tee, what’s good?”

“Hey Dannie, oh nothing really, just the usual. Class is starting soon so I’m just coming to terms with, ya know, no chill ever again…” – Dannie snorted at that – face still hidden between words, pages after pages of grimy murders, and absently stepped a little to the side to invite her into his space. She took a breath to get the wheels to run.

“Speaking of class… How’s it going between you and that girl from your lecture hall last semester? Louise, right?” – Therese looked closely as she asked, able to notice several things play out in quick succession at that: his relaxed posture, heels dancing a little tap-tap-tap rhythm against the floor tiles with a mind of their own. Whole body bobbing just the slightest bit on his toes… Most importantly, she thought... oh, his face had taken on this softest expression only by a single mention of a name, chain reactions already set and gone, heart of hearts fluttered and lived. _Oh, it’s but a glass mirror between me and him._

“Oh, going so well actually! We’re heading out to Odéon later to watch a rerun of Psycho… That Hitchcock kinda stare, you see what I mean? I’m thinking of writing my Master thesis around that thing, maybe a comparison piece between Bates, Doctor Lecter, that guy from The Shining and that insane smile they give.” – Dannie went on and on. He always sounded like he knew what he wanted, Therese marveled with awe, looking at her friend smiling all to himself in contentment. First his school program, circles of friends, and now his heart, he knew what he wanted and then he went on to try to have it – all of it, in the palm of his hand.

Now, if only she could learn how to be braver, just a tiny little bit more, maybe she’d eventually figure out how to proceed with this… this _thing_ between her and Carol. Whatever it could be. Pluck it out from between her ribs and have it be the wonderful color of Bordeaux wine…

“We figured that since summer was ending soon, like you said, we gotta make the most of what’s left of it…” – He hummed excitedly – “Say, you doing anything fun this Friday night, Tee? Want to come to her soirée? There’ll just be some people from our classes, some alcohol and maybe we’ll see what we’ll end up talking all night long about!”

Therese smiled and nodded her head yes for Louise was genuinely a nice and funny girl out of all the times they’d crossed paths, and she simply just loved seeing them interact with each other. They really made for a cute couple, she thought fondly, words after words bouncing off of each other in rapid French and obvious affection.

Dannie grinned: maybe proud that he was able to drag her outdoors… maybe proud that she’d agreed to go outdoors without too much dragging from his part, noodle arms and all that jazz but still made of fiery determination. He was slowly starting to get distracted now, she realized: his forehead was starting to develop a slight crease, eyes lingering on what seemed like a particularly long paragraph stretching. Maybe Agatha Christie had made someone kill someone for money and property again, now _that_ really wouldn't be a new surprise or anything…

_Come on come on now, go ahead and do it, ask him the damn question, Therese_.

“You know what Dannie… I was just wondering, actually… I’ve been meaning to ask, how did you know that you liked her? Like, how did you know that that was what it was instead of just a nice friendship?”

Golly for _that_ got his full attention alright. His head leveled with hers now, book put down haphazardly onto the nearest surface as he blinked face-to-face, curiosity aloud. _If he teases me about anything at all I’ll just have to strangle him like this but keep him alive for him to recover, quit working as staff and be his boss full-time._

_“_ Oh _”_ – That was all he could manage out of his throat for the time being, still fighting to keep his manners in check. In some obscure corner deep in the back of her mind, Therese was aware that she had never mentioned anything at all, romance-wise, to any of her friends. What was there to say, really, if she was to explain herself in the first place since she'd never met a single soul who could send her through all the proverbial hoops and loops, who could make her want to write the prettiest of poetry, want to play a whole new song? Stopping herself at this line of thinking, something made a noise in her head: a soft little ‘ping’ echoing through every sense, reminding her once again that she might have met one just now… just so very recently… So she really _really_ had to know what it could mean, how far it could take her out to the oceans.

“Well, you know, I obviously can’t talk for everyone’s experiences…” – Dannie scratched the nape of his neck lightly – “But I remember in vivid details the first time I saw her walk through the door. I mean, obviously she did look amazing back then and even prettier now, but that really wasn’t the sole reason that made me go out of my way to talk to her eventually. There was this …something, I knew it as soon as she’d brilliantly answered that Prof’s question. I can’t explain… And then we started talking, light stuff at first, and then it all rolled out from there.”

Blinking rapidly too, Therese switched between his animated face and the still spines of their books to try to keep her composure light. Head still turning over and over – “She gets me, Tee, I guess so… Or if she doesn’t at first, she’ll just come sit with me until one of us figures something out. Either I figure out how to explain myself better, or she figures me out and it’s all really beyond nice. _Everything_ 's beyond nice. And I want to do the exact same thing too, I want to understand her… What she wants to say like right now right now, all the things she’ll want to say tomorrow and then some more.”

Shuffling the book back into place with a smooth glide of hardcovers, Dannie looked like he was glowing just a tiniest bit, there – “This thing in particular works with communication and efforts, you see what I mean? Like I talk to her, and I try... and then I try to talk to her. I think that’s pretty much it, uh-huh.” _Yeah, that could be it._

Therese chuckled at his dreamy expression now as he mumbled mostly to himself “And it sure does help that she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, too…” – Grateful that he’d taken the time to choose his words, that he knew that she’d never _‘just wondered’_ something like this out for anyone’s ears. She felt like a hot, scalding hot, sweet cup of coffee right about now, just to feel its warmth spread along all over her body right before the deep dive she'd take.

_“_ Thanks for your sappy story, big boy. I’ll catch you later, alright? I gotta run now.”

“Huh? Wait, where are you going…? Therese! There’s like a whole bunch of people just walking in and I know you can see it!!!”

“See ya!!”

Already with several feet separating them, she heard her name being called out once again – turning back, there was a satisfied grin plastered on his face as he gave her a little half wave good-luck

“You’ll tell me about it? Like, whenever you want?”

“You’ll be the first to know, Dannie!”

 

-

 

Stretching both shoulders lightly with her back facing the dining area, Carol was trying to listen to Antoine rant about something… something with their old industrial dishwasher. New shiny dishwasher here, maybe some more batteries for all the smoke detectors there; she absent-mindedly reached her left hand out to press onto a table they kept against the wall: feeling its cool surface under her bare palm. No more shiny, looming wedding ring to clack so awfully harsh against metal surfaces now, she’d made sure to see to that some long months ago… See to that, stash it away right out of sight along with her old life. Antoine – bless the boy for dealing with her distraction for he was still hanging in onto the middle of his weekly update – suddenly glanced a little sideways to somewhere over her shoulder, squinted and looked back at her.

“Uh, Carol, je crois qu'il y a quelqu’un qui arrive pour te voir là…”

Oh. Therese was marching right up to where they were – unexpectedly but completely welcome, a dazzling sight for sore eyes. Her gaze was seeking out something in the air surrounding Carol, determination read both a question and its decision.

Slightly out of breath.

But wasn’t her bookstore just right next door the last time she glanced over… which was an hour ago? And what was this thing Carol was feeling, this sensation that was stirring up all over inside seeing her in such a whirlwind of motions like this: what on Earth was in her head now?

Antoine measured the distance between her face and the approaching figure, made a motion to pop his knuckles softly in all contemplation – “Bon, je vous laisse et on en reparlera après?” – With that, he swiftly turned away for her to have some privacy and retreated further into the kitchen.

…Probably on his way to go sneak some food from their ready-stock fridge, Carol absently wondered if that just wasn't the case here… She really, really couldn’t care less for a few missing slices of cheese now for all that this moment was worth.

“Therese! So nice to see you back here so soon… Everything all good?”

Therese blinked a little, suddenly looking so flustered… so so adorable – "Weren't you finished with your conversation before my arrival? Is this a bad moment?"

She widened her eyes, shook her head adamantly lest the lovely young woman decided to back off. Not now!

"No, no! We were just wrapping it up, and it definitely doesn't matter now… How are you?"

Therese seemed to halt a little at that, the deeply set expression on her face shifting a bit under her strange spell now that she’d come closer, so much closer that Carol could make out the tiny shooting sparks surfacing all over in her emerald-green eyes.

“Oh! I’m fine, I’m doing fine.”

Carol smiled tentatively, the two of them had settled their bodies accordingly like a pair of magnets facing each other in this static air. She saw Therese’s stance soften down a little, saw her awkwardly lift a hand up to wring at her teeshirt’s collar. So the younger woman really was out of breath, she decided… and strangely flushed around the cheeks, too. What was to expect now?

She was just trying to start on a new sentence – searching for any other thing to guide them through with small talk just so she could hear Therese’s lovely voice ringing up once again when she blinked away their eye contact. Green softly wandered down to her deep-red manicured fingers still resting on the table. Her hand finally left the rumpled cotton, then, went down; index finger running its pad through all of Carol’s five ones so so gently. When it found her thumb by the end of the dizzying discovery, it curled all over, locking in space. Tugging a little now, pulling everything over to Therese's side across their imaginary chessboard. Two palms hot and winning on the metal-cool steel table.

“I’m doing really really great, Carol… I just wanted to come over to say… I like you, a little, I think, more than I would like a new friend. What are you feeling?”

Carol grinned happily at that, felt like she could just lean forward a little bit further and soundly kiss Therese right there by the kitchen’s door if not for the fact that she so wanted to keep on staring, staring some more at her beautiful face glowing: hopeful and as red-cheeked as an all-star wonder. _Alright, alright, they can do it, they’re doing it now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Je crois qu'il y a quelqu'un qui arrive pour te voir là" - I think there's someone coming over for you.  
> "Bon, je vous laisse et on en reparlera après?" - Well, I'll leave you two to it and we'll talk about that thing again afterward?  
> -  
> Hi everyone! I just noticed that I've received over 1000 views :) all statistics scenarios possible, if, IDK, only a fifth of you have enjoyed my story or I've made you smile or relax in anyway, that'll still make it 200-ish people satisfied in the audience! That's some really great news for me, a fella who (professionally) does all things everything in the deep quiet of Economics research papers :'D  
> And thank you to everyone who's left me a comment! It's just so great to see a little email notification popping up amidst all the updates I've got from university and LinkedIn or whatever :D ! I hope I'll be able to keep all of you into whatever I've got in my mind to write!  
> -  
> -  
> Here's a random piece of FYI if you wanna look at some fancy French architecture :D I did mention that Therese's would-be classes for her university, Sorbonne Nouvelle, should take place in the La Sorbonne building, and well, I'm not sure about the rest of France or Paris, but here our lecture halls are these amphithéâtres (amphitheaters?). You can check out these links for the ones that I think should be mentioned, or you can totally look these names up on Google Image or other sources:  
> Le Grand Amphithéâtre  
> http://www.sorbonne.fr/en/the-sorbonne/location-espaces/grand-amphitheatre/  
> L'Amphithéâtre Liard (these first two are only for PhD defense procedures I think)  
> http://www.sorbonne.fr/en/the-sorbonne/location-espaces/amphitheatre-liard/  
> L'Amphithéâtre de Gestion (my favorite :D)  
> https://twitter.com/SorbonneParis1/status/456677841065607169  
> Richelieu, Turgot, Lefebvre and Bachelard are some other big ones too.  
> Some other pictures from a blog I could dig up:  
> https://www.unjourdeplusaparis.com/en/paris-insolite/fabuleux-decors-amphitheatres-la-sorbonne  
> Now you can imagine Dannie meeting Louise for the first time for Littérature Française and Comparée (French and Compared Literature) in one of these scenes! :D  
> I hope you'll have fun and enjoy!


	6. Piano Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "…I just know that I’ll always be wondering… All the time. If I’m good enough to keep going or if I should just scrape it all at once and restart, go ahead and pick something else that wouldn’t just drive me completely up the wall.”
> 
> Carol blinked – initially so touched that Therese would want to trust her to share such difficult things like this; then after a soft moment later she could feel awe eclipse her heart entirely, as that degree of passion had never before been in all of her years…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :D

The sky was a breathtaking thing to behold, always: it moved for no one, a timeless dance where night turned into day... into night, into yet another day again. Rinse and repeat, swifter than any fine silk.

Sometimes as Carol took a still moment to stare out the windows into... well, outside where endless light blue laid on, in a way it made her feel as though she was staring straight into someone else’s world; And right there – in that God-awful room – was where she had to stay locked in limbo with no real consolation to speak of. Feelings no matter their shapes or sounds; opaque, thin, shrill or otherwise, didn’t ever get to be just hers and hers alone. In one fleeting grasp of hands, she’d once had a strange dream, too, just once: a dream of sea-salty water rising up all over her bed to flood the whole place… Furniture strangely all still and intact.

The moment all that odd water reached up and touched the windowpane, instead of bursting right out for everyone else to see – there, there where it all was and there where _she_ herself was, it just… went on. Kept on rising. It shouldn’t have happened so, should’ve never happened so, but still it did in the early hours of that night’s visions...

No one ever came for her, then, it’d been all for nothing: her subconscious’ futile little call for help. Liquid blue rose right up, this screen of invisible glass turned out to be yet just another wall in front of her eyes, so what? What could shiny diamond-and-gold ever mean if she couldn’t step out to be where life was? See for herself what it was all about?

Moments were lived and gone, things changed, sure, they always did. Things could be _different_ every now and again – if her mood struck just the right shade, Carol was all too aware, but ultimately they were all… same old for just the longest time, and so for years upon years on end she’d actually come to believe that it all happened within the span of one single day that she could never seem to escape.

_Don’t be daft..._

She’d been able to chase that feeling far away since then, had come a long way since Ridgewood... Now, whenever she took the time out of her days to go open the windows, it simply was to let some breeze rush in: let it dance its way right inside into her new home.

 

-

 

She found Therese upstairs in the reading room as per their usual meet-up corner now, caught her in the middle of lightly tapping her mind away on the upright piano. A dimly lit room, it was somewhat hard to recognize book titles, even harder to be able to concentrate one’s mind enough to go venture into printed worlds… Yet she seemed to be able to see the young woman just fine, could openly stare at her all to her own rapping heart’s content – and _my_ , did she look just so lovely today... great, even, if Carol dared say so herself (not surprising at all, there). Great, oh so very great... if a tad disconnected to her playing. Lost in thoughts.

Carol stepped closer to come sit to her left and made some small rustling noise with her clothes – just so she wouldn’t get too terribly startled, and settled down leaving their bodies with just a hint of one in-between distance.

“Thinking hard as always now aren’t you?”

Smiling, Therese turned to her with dimples and everything ever worth being called pretty on-show – “Hey there, you... I was just thinking all random stuff, here and there you know, nothing special really. How are you doing?”

She looked into emerald green, felt herself want to wade her way deeply in and maybe stay there for just a little bit for some of that new warmth. Picked one answer out from a mental list that she’d hoped should work – “Funny you should ask… I’m all better now that I’m here, now _that_ ’s a coincidence!”

Much to her ever-growing satisfaction, Therese blushed hard in response and chuckled deep in her throat. At that, still with half an eye keeping track on Carol's movements, she turned back to the keys – black and white stringing together for one soft melody.

Carol took one sweet, sweet second to do nothing but trace eyes along those dainty fingers dancing about, each shift of a music note feeling like yet another build-up of a step to lead them towards something new, always. Took another second just to admire her beauty.

“You said last week that school was starting soon, right? What is it that you’re studying again...? I remembered just now that I’ve never actually asked about it.”

“Oh, yeah, it’ll be my last year in Photography actually! It’ll all start next week in that Sorbonne center just a little walk up Rue Saint-Jacques there.”

“I see. So that’s what you want to be, then? A photographer...?”

Therese took another moment to play on, to smile something amusing to herself and angled her head to pointedly look at the gap stretching on in-between skin.

_So she does think that it’s much too far, too… That’s interesting…_

_Well, I suppose since that’s what the good lady so wants…_

Carol suspected that by now she too was blushing just a tiny bit (how curious it was, to have that fit of heat fall right onto her cheeks!), but for all that it was worth she was sure that Therese wouldn’t mind it happening… oh no, not at all. She slid over the rest of the bench, then,… for shoulders to touch, _knowing_ that their bodies were to melt, to wring soft upon the contact of skin before actually, physically feeling it take place… Oh, the unsung glory of little moments like this… the things she'd do to keep them all alive, always.

“Of course, I’ve always wanted to take lots and lots of pictures. Since pretty much forever, I think so… though I’m just not too sure if I’m really that good at it, do you see what I mean?”

She furrowed her eyebrows at the young woman’s response – which read to her like a much bigger question mark. Turned her upper body just the slightest angle to set her right hand onto the spare sliver of the wooden bench behind Therese’s body. Right shoulder now touching Therese’s shoulder blade from behind – shifting just a tiny bit closer for their thighs to feel a hint of each other’s skin.

“Now wouldn’t that be something for other people to let you know…? Whether you have any talent in your bones or not?”

Therese let her tune blow out into the quiet as fingers continued to play, though they were now just tapping barely, inaudibly on touch-sensitive keys… Hummed and tried an answer out from deep in her throat first. Stopped for a little bit – then in one smooth, singular gesture cut out from bright ivory: she reached to put her left hand on Carol’s own then moved each pad of fingers to press softly on deep-red nail polish… two now as one. Carol was practically a mess of mush at this point – as if… Oh, as if she was being touched and seen merely by the opening of something as innocent a move as that; yet still confused about her companion’s strange self-doubt.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make it sound all weird and sad like that. What I meant is” – She guided their joined hands around the keyboard now, so so gently, touching for music through Carol’s own fingertips as her right one restarted in motion too, slower to the side… deeper, coloring up the background to complete a well-rounded tune of their own.

“How can you ever know when or if you’ve finally got it right? How did the composer for this piece we’re playing now, for example, know just which music note to follow which, one after another? Even if it sounded nice to him then, how did he know if it couldn’t get any better and that was it?”

Therese was setting both brows a little now, too, wandering and losing her reality’s focus into what seemed like all the things she’d had in mind since the very beginning of time – “It’s just all so… frustrating, the not knowing. Not knowing if I’ve already done my bestest of bests, or if I should keep going on yet another five hours for just one single frame, snapped again and again and just one more time, again, for good measure… Even then, after all of that, how can I be sure if it’ll be enough? How do all these people be sure? A painter who manages to stop, steps back and smiles at his swirling canvas. A composer who finally stops rearranging his pauses around the lines, content enough to let other people play it out for his own ears to enjoy…”

Turning back to her at long last, Therese smiled with mellow eyes, their joint melody had picked up the pace somewhere halfway during her little speech but now she was bringing it to a stop… Halt that thought for this moment in time. Carol didn’t even dare blink, too busy staring at her face – shining and glowing, little Versailles tucked into the back of a room one whole palace of memories and well-kept hopes. She felt, more so than saw, Therese pick their left hands away from the keys to suspend them both in this still air for one-third of a second and lay Carol’s back down, palm-up. Everything felt so intentional yet spontaneous… like charms for a spell running headfirst in motion. She started playing fingers back and forth across all skin… down to her sensitive wrist, not unlike the way she would stroke, had stroked the ivories just now.

She tried to keep control even as the young woman was stirring her entire body crazy, _crazy_ in such ways she’d never thought existed before – it all started at that point of contact of fingers and palm, spread the way across her chest to their shoulders still touching. Leaped straight down to pressed-up thighs.

“Say, I guess in the end it’s just fear of missing out, Carol. One time I remember pushing a finger against the lens of my Polaroid camera, like this,” – Pressed her thumb right on the pad of Carol’s index finger, turned it one new shade then quickly swiped over that pinkish skin half a second later – “Took it out to snap a picture of some sunflowers right that moment… The photo that sprung out was just …amazing, despite how strange the impulse to touch had felt when I was standing there fiddling with the machine… It gave the print a soft, soft red flare from my skin’s pressure which bounced right off the yellow of those petals. I just love it so much, keep it even now in a corner of my studio apartment. But… Well, what if there are more? _Of course_ there are more, always, a million more of little techniques of that kind for every one of my daydreams possible; and even if I eventually, somehow, get to know them all I just know that I’ll always be wondering… All the time. If I’m good enough to keep going or if I should just scrape it all at once and restart, go ahead and pick something else that wouldn’t just drive me completely up the wall.”

Carol blinked – initially so touched that Therese would want to trust her to share such difficult things like this; then after a soft moment later she could feel awe eclipse her heart entirely, as that degree of passion had never before been in all of her years… And she'd been alive on Earth for a bit more than just a couple of years now,… or so she'd like to think… _Will you let me look at you some more, now, so I’ll understand how light can feel through my body?_

“Does photography make you happy?”

Therese’s smile turned reverent like one shift of a switch, which only served then to light her entire self up: Carol squeezed her left hand softly at that sight with fingers still twined in their union – let spontaneity take over, too, slipped it out of their embrace only to reach to touch her jaw with a thumb. With her hand settled on one side of the brunette’s neck now, Carol let herself feel equally as enraptured as the expression shining through the lovely face coming alive across from her.

“It does, Carol, so much… It gives me things, all these things I have… And it did bring you to me, too.” – She felt her breath hitch, a feeble staccato thing in the face of such heart-deep revelations – “The first time I saw you, you still remember right? When you spoke to me in formal French since I was still just a _customer_ then…”

A playful smile to reminisce fate, as it truly were – “I spent, like, that whole morning going back and forth inside my heart wanting to catch that dress forever on my 35mm film… Wanting to see you again after that coffee, in that dress… then maybe in a different dress. Why not? In all other dresses you have… I then wanted to see you placed in scenes for my eyes only, walking in all these different seasons or places, it really didn’t matter all that much other than just this pure wanting to _see_. See _you_.”

Carol’s eyes might as well just never blink ever again now if it meant that she'd have to stop looking at the young woman sitting in front of her… even if it was for merely the smallest fraction of just this one second… _Oh, let us not waste a single day…_

“I then understood the hows and whys, so to say. How Van Gogh stood for days on end in that field, brushing shades after shades of blue all over his canvases in Auvers… all of them the same, all of them with just enough of a difference for it to count. Why he did that. Oh, I understood that very morning… How and why I myself take pictures… It’s all to _see_ and to _know_ what they will look like, aware that I’m the one creating them. Good or not so good? It doesn’t bother me all too bad now after spending that good deal of time just to think it over. Does that make sense to you?”

Carol smiled, smiled and _smiled_ with all her bursting heart – “Well, then… Never mind your bestest of bests… whatever that means. Never mind an ideal perfection. Just capture everything your mind desires, capture _me_ if you so wish to, take what feels _right_ and just chuck all the rest out and away to the winds now, then and only then shall we see and know. So darling, what do you say?”

Therese’s sparkly grin in response felt so much prettier than any gold or diamond could ever hope to be – she truly grinned, placed her hand up to cup Carol’s that had been on her jaw this entire time and their shared feeling of elation was just so… _so_ exquisite to the touch… Magnificent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Therese would take Carol's left hand and play 'Une Barque sur L'Océan'  
> https://youtu.be/bTYUyDjVCRU  
> while she takes on the deeper, separate little notes in the beginning with her right one :D if you're interested in some good ol' music, I hope you'll enjoy this piece :)  
> If you have Spotify, you can look for 'Une Barque sur L'Océan André Laplante' since I can't seem to get the link...it bugs a little from time to time...  
> It should be classed under the album 'Miroirs, Jeux d'eau, Pavane pour une infante défunte' (Mirrors, Games in water, A pavane for an infant girl who passed away) :)  
> -  
> I've watched the painted-animated movie 'Loving Vincent' 4 or 5 times since its first release in France til now, and the efforts they poured into that big of a project leave me breathless every single time :D I highly recommend if you haven't watched it yet!  
> -  
> I hope you all have enjoyed this! The conversation they have is fueled by Win7Wil's comment on my first chapter where she mentioned the scene 'Use what feels right and throw away the rest' :D So thank you for that reminder! I'd totally forgotten that line exists!  
> -  
> Have a good time now y'all :)


	7. Code X, For The Kiss They Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would Carol tell her about it was she to ask right this instant, would she let her know everything? – For to _know_ Carol would be the most beautiful gift ever, there had never been any doubt surrounding the matter, not even once, ever since that first moment they’d caught ways.
> 
> (Yes, yes… a thousand times _yes_ , so much better, so much prettier than anything she had ever wanted in her life.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you get started, you should click on this link  
> https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/018/761/MOM_HOLY_thumb.jpg  
> to get a nice mental image of Abby in the beginning of this chapter :D  
> It's kinda like a big format drawing that has some swear words in it so do open it in all discretion if you're around children!!  
> I hope you'll have fun now! :D

Act One: Carol’s Heart

 

One beautiful, beautiful day around noon, Abby rammed the doors of La Bûcherie down to make her way inside and headed right over to the counter without missing a beat.

Turning away from the sizzling coffee machine to face her life-long troublemaker in the shape of a best friend, Carol went fight-or-flight just a tiny bit at the sight of wide eyes that greeted her – second nature promptly telling to set her cup of steaming hot beverage down onto the nearest stable surface, and make it snappy. She _knew_ all too well Abby’s infamous flare for the dramatics… knew all its shapes and sounds like the back of her hands.

“Oh my God!!! Hi girl!!!”

“Hey Abby… You sure look like you’re …up to something. What’s new with you?”

“Well aren’t I sooo glad you asked!!” – Carol's eyes literally automatically rolled to the back of their sockets at her voice, which really did feel like a surgical marvel for a moment there – “How is it that you’ve been spending all your time almost every other day, for like two weeks now, just lounging around in that bookstore yet you”

_Why is Abby accusingly jabbing a finger at me like that? What did I do?_

“Yes, _you_ , have never cared to tell me that the prettiest most beautiful gal on this whole planet works there?”

__

_Therese??_

__

_But don’t they know each other…? From when she gave Rindy that book?_

__

“…Earth to Carol …? Why are you looking at me all weird like that? Do I have something on my face…? _Anyway_ , babe, I was just walking by on my merry way to get here when I saw this one fabulous red-headed little thing setting up the façade with that Dannie guy! They looked like they were close enough, right, so naturally I assumed that she works there too and it’s been quite a while… Oh I don’t know, you tell me!! I see how it is now, uh-huh, you obviously have been way too busy with your gal to ever think of your bestie even just for a sec of your day!” – Abby then groaned aloud, throwing her arms over the counter to feign flopping in a heap.

__

_Good lord_.

__

“You mean Gen? That foxy librarian one who looks like she might also belong in an indie band? …Abigail, come on, sit back upright before everyone gets suspicious… And just for the record… between the two of us, _you_ ’re supposed to be the know-it-all!”

__

At that, Abby just reached right over to steal a big gulp from her coffee with mischievous eyes twinkling brightly – maybe just a tiniest bit too bright for comfort, there.

__

“And go make your own coffee, you nitwit. We co-own this place!”

__

 

__

-

__

 

__

“So how’s it been going with Therese now?”

__

“Oh, it’s been all nice and well. So very nice…” – Carol replied with her head strategically stuck inside the ceramic cup, as she knew that it’d be impossible to stop a dreamy smile from spreading all over her features. Hastily decided to toy with the sugar sticks just a little bit, then, wringing and stretching their paper corners back and forth just so her grabby fingers would have something to mess with.

__

“Now that’s what I call a smile that’ll put the sun outta its business! It’s a good look on you, my favorite nitwit!” – Glancing around the dining area with the best show of subtlety she could care to muster, Abby then lowered her voice down just a tad (Maybe to tease Carol since she’d always _loved_ to do just that… being the bother that she so was; maybe to avoid awkwardness with Charles who was lazily chain-smoking and chilling at one of their corner tables right by the threshold… Whenever it came to this woman’s playful moods, she really could never tell which was which.) – “So do ya need me to steal Rindy away for a couple nights sometime soon just so the two of you can …? Have some _fun_?”

__

“ _Abby!_ ” – She felt heat immediately bloom up 'round the collar now, spluttering in her seat though it had nothing at all to do with the small sip of coffee that'd gotten stuck somewhere halfway down, down the wrong pipe.

__

“Huh?? You do know that I’ll have to go down to Auvergne one of these days to find a new supplier for our cheeses… I can bring her there with me, too, sort of like a little trip before she starts preschool, maybe that’ll give her something interesting to tell her new classmates… Help them bond a little bit faster. Wait, wait, girl, hol’ up!! Are you …blushing now? What’s this?”

__

“Keep your voice down! I don’t need all these strangers all up in my business!! …And ugh, I can’t believe that I’m tempted enough to discuss this with you, childhood friend of mine, godmother of wee Nerinda… and whatever else that you so want to be, really… We’re not _there_ yet…”

__

From one corner of her periphery, Carol saw Abby slowly, slowly try to smooth over her surprised expression to catch up with this piece of news – humming a little to herself as eyes started to trace all over Carol’s reddened cheeks.

__

After a few moments – “Well then, I suppose… but might I ask why not? You know what I'd do if I were you now, it takes just a kiss here, right… then a moment alone there and before you know it, Bam!!”

__

Carol felt her eyes roll a little at her friend’s direct-action approach, genuinely amazed that it’d always seemed to work to her favor even after all of these years, ever since their young adult period of life… Oh, dearest Abigail…

__

“We’ve been talking about all things really, and it’s just so so great, you know? Getting to know someone like her… I feel like we’re so close already, it’s all… warm and content. Plus you’re well aware that I’ve never really done _this_ before.”

“Done what? A staring contest as she ate pasta with just about the slowest gnaw ever recorded on Earth? I still haven’t been able to figure out just what _that_ was all about, by the way… Tell you what, now that I really think about it, that was the only time I’ve ever seen you two together… So what else have y’all been up to since then? Talking about what exactly?”

__

“Don’t make me reach over to hit you now, _that_ ’d surely leave your reputation within the staff team in shreds of rags!! What I want to say is, you silly, I’ve never done anything like …this.” – All at once, she came to realize just how her vague hand gestures felt so inadequate and awkward in the face of surprise shining all over Abby’s demeanor – “It’s all so different from back then when I was with Harge, you were right there to witness how things went down, don’t you remember? So _now_ I’m actually glad that she too is taking it slow… I mean, sure… what I wouldn’t give for a blinding kiss, you know, these days it just kind of takes up all my headspace whenever I look at her.”

__

Carol took a deep breath and ignored Abby’s squinted eyes staring at her – “But I guess, full disclosure here, I also kind of… like being led like this, exactly as it is now, how things are moving. See where she’ll take me to… She always, always looks so deep in thought looking at me, like she’s trying to pull something out from my head. Thread right after tiny thread… I don’t want to go ahead and do anything too rash or fast, Abby. Anything at all that she’s not a-hundred-percent ready for.”

__

Abby took a moment just to scratch her nose, looking for all the world like she was genuinely trying hard to connect all these two-and-twos.

__

“Fine, I guess I don’t understand any of that ‘going slow’ business at all, but I can see your face right now, which is…” – Carol raised her eyebrows in question: half nervous, half thrilled, a heady mix of both sensations ringing down all over her ribs.

Settling near her beating heart where as of late things were constantly simmering, boiling, demanding her to just _feel_. Would Abby tell her what her face showed whenever she thought of Therese? (Of all her wonders…!) And would this be what Therese herself could see all over her features whenever they sat back and took their silky, golden moments to look at, look into each other?

Took, took and then took it all for some more of whatever this was building up to be.

“I like seeing you like this, Carol, I’m serious. Like those pretty sunflowers in the summer, you know how they are… Look, we can just ignore all the silly pushy things I just said, yeah? Now you told me you like being led, alrighty there”

__

Abby winked, and all at once Carol physically had to repress the overwhelming urge to pull the chair right out from under her butt

__

“But who says you can’t give the lady some hints, drive her on a little bit!! I know you know that you look majestic pretty much all the time now, so turn that up and she’ll pounce right on! Stand up and let me see your outfit!” – Blushing right up to her hairline, Carol stood to appease Abby as giddiness had long since eclipsed all that was left of second-guessing, leaving her body now wildly thrumming with anticipation ( _A kiss! Kissing Therese… Oh… How about being kissed by Therese?!)_

__

“Off-white thin blouse with a short pencil skirt… Good choice, there… Well, if you ask me, you totally should’ve picked something wayyy shorter than this, but too late now honey for I’ve already had my mind set that you two get it on today, and that's that!” – Swatting away Carol’s hand reaching up to brush at reddened cheeks, the darn woman just went on and _on_ , oblivious to her shaky composure.

“Now where’s my lovely goddaughter?”

__

“She’s upstairs in Shakespeare now, joining some sort of coloring club organized by Phil… It’ll end soon actually, I guess I’ll just go over to pick her up” – She made yet another of those stiff hand motions, alarmed when Abby’s eyes took to shine on dangerously. _Oh, jeez, this literally has never meant good news._

__

“Ha! Sometimes things like this are just sooo easy it baffles me. Now come on Carol, time to go work your magic!”

__

“Time to what…?”

__

“Well?? What did we just talk about? Let’s go girl, time for you to get some kisses! My God, don’t tell me you’re this clueless all the time around your lady??”

__

_Right, kisses!_

__

“Of course not! I’m not completely daft, you know that.”

__

“Yeah, sure, if you say so babe!”

__

 

__

-

__

 

__

Halfway out onto the pavement, Abby took a second to stop them both, the set look on her face as she turned back let Carol know that she meant real business right then and there.

__

“Now I know you mentioned Harge earlier, and I’m very certain that none of us want to dig back into that mess” – Carol just bit her lips in silence now, feeling the urge to sigh softly as she looked away from Abby’s searching eyes so she could stall for a little bit more. Could borrow one last minute before she stepped foot inside, into the bookstore and that was that – “But honey, look at yourself. Antoine showed me all those photos he’d taken of the two of you doing whatever that was by the kitchen entrance last week, you know? I saw those blurry as all hells pictures, saw her sitting with that plate of pasta the very first day you two started your little chit-chatty things... And I saw you just now. This isn’t anything like Harge, and as far as I’ve heard she sure isn’t him at all!"

Abby kneaded her heeled toes onto the ground softly, flicking off something invisible – "You get to make your own decisions all the way since the beginning this time around and you know it, so don’t you tell me I’ve gotten any of it wrong. Now, trust me a bit and make the difference matter, will you? How can you know if Therese isn’t waiting for this, too?”

__

She stood still, unblinking, and stared at faraway crowds walking through the little bridge leading to Île de la Cité as they took their time on the way to where stood the giant cathedral. All these strangers, faces and features, what would Therese see was she to look at them? Now that they were getting to know each other better, what did she see whenever she looked at Carol? Just blue irises shining on and on, simple as that, or something so much more important as she was becoming ready and readier every passing day to hand right over?

__

“Make your choice, babe, we can still walk back into the café and pretend I never said anything. Now you’re still going with me or nah?”

__

Taking one last second to fix up the black skirt sitting around her hips, Carol took a deep breath. _Guess I’ll know it when I see it, then. No time could be a better time than right now._

__

“Alright, alright, I’m going!”

__

 

__

 

__

 

__

Act Two: Therese’s Eyes

__

 

__

Flipping around some De Toulouse-Lautrec with one hand as the other held onto a huge pumpkin spiced latte, Therese was trying to stifle a yawn when she heard some chatter, a flurry of silhouettes coming in through the front door. As she looked over, she caught sight of Carol and Abby closing in right to where she was standing inside the art books’ display room, inaudible whispers coming from the brunette as Carol walked next to her, looking somewhat fidgety – which, all things considered, made for a curious sight if she’d ever know one. _Did I ever really see Carol be antsy or out of place? In here or anywhere for that matter?_

__

As far as she’d noticed throughout their little courtship – Could she truly call what they had as that? Would that really be so strange now? (Their lovely courtship, a song of two swans wading and curling until the right moment came for the both of them to spread out. To touch, all soft-feathered wings, and just dance... As simple as that; no need for any hoops or frills, not ever.) – Carol had always seemed ...collected, put together around all the seams. Regal even, whenever she reached her palms to fluff up those marvelous curls of hair, whenever she did just about anything...

__

Therese stood still. Did the impression she’d had of an impeccable Carol come to be simply because she wasn’t looking deep enough beneath the glass surface of motions and voices?

__

“Hi Therese! Carol here has been looking for you _all_ day since morning now!” – Abby announced loudly, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she softly pushed Carol forward – “There you go, you nitwit, I _told_ you that she’d be right here didn’t I!! Now you two play nice, you hear me, I’ll go get Rindy from upstairs and we’ll go get our own fun too. Alright?!”

__

Just like that, the strange, strange woman fled from the scene like a gush of winds; leaving Carol stock-still there to watch her walk away, as Therese watched Carol from deep in her own world of contemplation.

__

Therese decided to clear her throat a little after some long moments had passed, just enough to get it going, enough for Carol to bridge their gap. Now, she was no psychic in any given department whatsoever, yet in a way she could still feel something so odd, something ...changing between the two of them as the blonde turned to settle in her space. Would Carol tell her about it was she to ask right this instant, would she let her know everything? – For to _know_ Carol would be the most beautiful gift ever, there had never been any doubt about the matter, not even once, ever since that first moment they’d caught ways. (Yes, yes, a thousand times _yes_ , so much better, so much prettier than anything she had ever wanted in her life.)

__

“So what have you got there?” – Pulled out of her staring, Therese put away a sigh at the mixture between her silky voice curling on those lips, the physical feel of her body standing within reach just nearby and every tiny reaction they were sending up to her brain circuits. Firing ‘em all up in cracks and snaps – she so wanted to hold Carol in her arms, then, pull her all the way closer just so she could see for herself what the woman was made of.

__

“Oh, it’s from a new shipment that came in earlier, I’m just messing around and then I guess I gotta go check on the inventory list, too, see if anything’s not up to date. How are you doing? Did you and Abby really just up and leave your café like that?”

__

“Don’t you worry, Abby and Rindy will get back there soon. We have all the time in our hands, darling” – A light wink thrown into the fuel, Therese absent-mindedly felt it catch fire as she fought to keep her silly blush down. Oh Carol, Carol, Carol… The most beautiful song there ever was – “And what’s that in your hand now? Is that Starbucks? Chérie, you do know that there’s always me and real coffee waiting for you just right next door, don’t you?”

__

_Oh God…_

__

“Oh…uh, it’s a pumpkin spiced latte, it’s available only like once a year so I kinda just have to, you know?”

__

Red lips stretched into a full smile (They looked just so soft, so very soft. How sweet would they taste to the touch now?) – “Pumpkin spiced? My, can’t say that I’ve had any before!”

__

One brand-spanking new study of Carol: feline eyes shining and waiting, a veritable lioness in the sand with nothing else but Therese in mind. She swallowed inaudibly, wanting to reach out to tempt life itself... Right now, right now.

__

Carol took a sip from the proffered cup, hummed thoughtfully and stepped _even closer_.

__

Therese vaguely saw red lipstick on the lid’s sipping way, vaguely wondered about Carol’s searching eyes as their quid-pro-quo contact never broke, not even once. Dizzy and hot, red hot, she wanted nothing now but to know the sweetness of those lips, how her skin would feel if they pressed close enough... Closer, still, so that no air at all was left between them ever again. She wanted to find out, and there was only one way to go about in this world they share: go forward and ask for things:

__

“Carol… I want to kiss you, so much. May I kiss you?”

__

“Darling, do kiss me right now before I go out of my mind.”

__

 

__

-

__

 

__

Inside that tiny room as the ongoing world faded into the background, Therese stepped up for the first time, took her own moments to touch the fabrics on Carol’s elbows. Traced hands up to feel her shoulders, taller than her own, as they moved up and down softly to the tunes of raspy breath. Reached to cup her neck right below the jawline, as Carol had touched her just so by the piano that day but with both palms now; both of them transfixed and in awe – this, this was the one thing that had never changed.

__

When they kissed, finally, Therese could see everything, soft and chaste, a never-before calmness in the whirlwind of heat surrounding them. They both melted, smiled into the kiss as bodies moved closer into an amorous embrace, locked in feelings. Time had no meaning left to scour for, a vector with entropy just another forgotten broken teacup. A Before and its After, one singular pinpoint in space.

__

Carol broke away at long last, pulled her into her body as what felt akin to satisfaction radiated out the wonderful kiss-soft skin. Therese couldn’t help it:

__

“So what was it that Abby was telling you about, all whispering and making you tense like that?”

__

A chuckle vibrated right into Therese’s ribcage, through layers of clothes and a pair of rapid hearts – “Oh, that one was just telling me to literally ‘puff my cleavage all out so I’d get what I wanted’. She means well though, darling.”

__

Was it possible for either of them to blush any harder now?

__

“Oh Carol, my Carol… You truly didn’t need to. I can’t help it whenever you’re yourself, you know that so.”

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose 'In Bed, The Kiss (1892)' by De Toulouse-Lautrec as one of the pages Therese was looking at when she heard Carol and Abby come in, of course :D  
> -  
> Some French for you now if you're interested! Chérie for female/chéri for male is the past participle for chérir (to cherish), a really common term of endearment for just about any age, so if you want to go out today and butter up someone, you should say:  
> ma chérie (my darling) if that's to be a female  
> and mon chéri (my darling) if that's to be a male :)  
> -  
> And Auvergne is a place that has some really nice cheeses! Here are some names:  
> Cantal: hard cheese, kinda like parmesan I suppose, but less salty, less hard and totally perfect to put on your cheese spreading board  
> Saint-Nectaire: soft ish, maybe the texture of camembert but with a tougher rind, and less smelly even if you eat a lot of it. I guess it's brie with character? :D  
> Bleu d'Auvergne/Fourme d'Ambert: blue cheese, if you wanna go hardcore...still softer and 'kinder' than roquefort though, which is nice for some taste test :D!  
> If you ever see these names in local places where you live, you can buy a small cut of it to try for yourself!  
> -  
> Cheers! :)


	8. Romulus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One way or another, there had been no place for Therese-Belivet there in the home (too many children, way too many things for those Sisters to go take care of), and so for the longest while she’d settled down to be just-Therese.
> 
> Just tiny, skinny Therese who hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with a last name, who’d always looked like she was about to say something if only there was a soul out there who would just sit down and listen. Stopped herself short, then, cut it right off every single time; for what good were words for, really, if they could never ever raise the dead from deep down under?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

(For loved ones who’ve gone away, gone too far from where you now are; for loss sitting in the shape of all the broken shards you still stubbornly fill the chambers of your heart with. And last but not least, for those memories you keep locked up inside a drawer, hoping for a chance that once in there they won’t ever turn to rot only to find out later – much later (too late), that somehow you’ve thrown all the keys to its door away.)

 

-

 

Therese woke up one Saturday as the world outside (not yet hers, no, not this soon in the morning) was wreaking rain, havoc, and all its winds onto her windows; the cold unfeeling spread of gray making her heart lurch in fits after fits of discomfort.

_Welp, so here it goes now, I guess it’s finally autumn._

Stepping out of bed to go put on some water, she stood there in the middle of the kitchen in a daze – unmoving as the electric kettle whirled on softly. Eyeing the machine and trying to remember her own feelings until its little click announced that it was time to go grab her French press. Hesitantly putting her body out of on-hold, then – a sequence of movements lived and gone all within minutes as the sun still hadn’t gone up on the other side of glass windows.

Had it always been this hard to wake up in the morning, or was it the gloom that today’s sky brought? Was it something else, there, if she dared let her mind go venture down that lane, the one veritable can of worms that was best left unopened, unnamed?

Before pressing the coffee grounds down to the bottom to get the day started, Therese made a mental note to go grab her phone sitting by the nightstand – might as well try to figure out how to spend this weekend now, maybe that’d be what it’d take to do her heart a favor and put everything back on its train-track railways.

 

-

 

Therese: Morning! :) What are you up to today?

Carol: Morning darling. Oh you know, I’m just here wondering if you’ll finally take me up on that offer for dinner, chez moi, sometime soon ;)

Therese: Since you’ve been insisting so... Will tonight be alright for your schedules? :) Send me your address?

Carol: The place’s a total bore without Rindy here since Abby took her down to Auvergne for a trip already :(

Carol: And that’ll be 23 rue Auguste Vitu, 75015 dear. Give me a heads-up when you’re on the way to let me know, alright?

Therese: Of course. See you tonight :)

Carol: xo

Therese: xoxo

Carol: ;)

(When Therese’s heart skipped this time around, it was so much warmer – it was to the beat of Carol’s mischievous little winks and all the archive of all their kisses.)

 

-

 

Alright, now what was it exactly about autumn that always seemed to get to her so bad every single year without fail? – Therese mused, walking down to her metro station early in the evening just so she could make a quick purchase before heading to Carol’s on time for their dinner – Was this grief? What must she mourn for now, after all this time, years and years between past and present?

She huffed to herself at that, pushed open the rotating door and stepped down underground.

Sometimes, as she took a walk alone with camera in hands, stepping over puddles after puddles of water; memories came to her, in a stream, in broken fragments that slashed at her… In all combinations there could ever be, every single wound pushing through-and-through. Sometimes it was too much, definitely too much, but there were also all those times in-between where she was able to ignore everything, just let those film rolls all play out before moving on with what was left of the day. Untouched, therefore impossible to be ruined was what she’d hoped for on the subject – maybe it wasn’t the proper way to treat this whole situation after all, but so what? She pushed forth, still, for what else was there for her to do?

Now, what did ‘they’ use to do when they were still all alive, still an ‘us’? The three of them, one good ol’ family… Dad, herself. Her mother, too, she supposed, although right this moment it was so hard to slot her face back into past scenes (should Therese even make an effort?), as throughout the years she had tried, had struggled, had kept herself up for days just to keep that woman deep in oblivion – right where she belonged. Or so she’d thought with all conviction in the world… Were they happy back then, the kind of happy that they must’ve been because they were a family? Did they have dinner together every other night? Did her mother sing in the kitchen in the morning as Dad prepared to head out for work? Movies, bi-monthly nights out, all the likes of it… Had it truly been as good as what nostalgia kept whispering into her ears late at night?

How the hell was Therese supposed to remember anything at all?

All things considered – good, bad or whatever; what she could remember was her very first morning upon waking up in the home. Oh, the home where she’d had to rebuild her world around – _that_ she did remember all as clear as struck daylight, how she so hated that sometimes. One way or another, there had been no place for Therese-Belivet there (too many children, way too many things for those Sisters to go take care of), and so for the longest while she’d settled down to be just-Therese. Just tiny, skinny Therese who hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with a last name, who’d always looked like she was about to say something if only there was a soul out there who would just sit down and listen. Stopped herself short, then, cut it right off every single time; for what good were words for, really, if they could never ever raise the dead from deep down under?

Oh, she felt herself in such curious moods sometimes: pure madness on her own, a caricature of Doctor Lecter scribbling everywhere, days after nights, solving for equations that would reverse entropy – turn that broken teacup whole right this moment please, steal back the far-gone, piece her simpler times together, those lovely moments before it all had crashed down her feet in the biggest of Vesuvius’ fires of a lifetime. Did he ever know any success at all, what was the final direction of all his vectors?

They all pointed forward, was what it turned out to be as far as she was concerned – no surprise there, really, and so forward was where she walked on too. Could never trick life for all the dimes that it was worth.

Therese settled into one corner of a somewhat deserted wagon after her short walk through the hallways to change for another metro line, slid down just so – so that the iron head bars could cover up eyes of everyone else sitting on the other end far away from her. Miles and miles stretched on between them as it seemed, one side ‘Therese’ and the other the-rest-of-the-world. With obscured eyes, she could play pretend, make them out to be whomever she wished for in one fraction of a second (enough for a flicker of ceiling lights), in one trip of a handful of stations whipping past – out of sight, until it was time to get off and go back up into where the sky stood awaiting.

The sun would go down sooner and sooner in a couple of weeks, signaling the end of yet another summer and before she knew it, darkness would arrive at 5PM, in haste, like it just couldn’t wait – then it'd spread over everything in its lack of manners, leaving no place left for her to warm herself up.

But, wait. Wait right there. Hold that thought for a sec... She would meet Carol soon, was on the way to her right now, wasn’t it?

Carol, Carol, oh Carol,...

For all intents and purpose (might Therese start to believe now that there were no conditions, no asterisks whatsoever attached to the space Carol had carved out for her in her life, in her heart?), the blonde woman had waltzed into her life that one fateful day – her one life that had been sometimes dull, sometimes a good amount of fun, most of the time too pensive and still for her own good. Had waltzed right in and painted it brand new like it was the single most natural thing in the world for her to do. Shades of gold, yellow tides, red and wise alike, all magnificent, and sometimes she would just turn 'round to smile at Therese all of a sudden – such unprompted, uncanny timing she had there, and her heart would… beat. Oh, for it to beat, to sing a happy song now whenever she saw that slow smile, that blue that would keep her warm, but not too warm it’d smother their own lights off, not ever.

Therese found herself looking forward to everything involving Carol now: her companion, lovely confidante, all the pretty nicknames already (or not yet) invented. There was a sense of peacefulness coating their every second, lingering in every sideways glance that Therese had never known before – her camera and all those books could only go so far; and these past few weeks as if flung right out of space, Carol had shown up, reached to take her hand for them to walk together. Didn’t really matter _where,_ she thought, as long as this was it, and this was there they would be. Would any of this make sense was she to tell Carol?

 _Come on now, cheer up_ – there she was at last, just this one thing to buy before going over to Carol’s, head and entire ribcage turning unbelievably giddy in one flip of a switch. Her moods would just have to sit back and wait for she didn’t make the rules now, so so sorry but she really couldn't care less: Carol came first, always, of course, of course.

 

-

 

Carol opened the door to the sight of her Therese looking wind-swept and just so _beautiful_ she could never fathom, so what other choices would there be but to step forward and steal a kiss to her own heart’s silly content?

Surely her neighbors would understand were they to run into this scene she was making, they just had to, for each kiss they shared felt like their first one ever but every new time was just _that_ much better than the last – this feeling was so curious a thing that pulled her head all a-reeling, but in a very good way. (Oh so so very good.) They stood there by the entrance, kissing their hello like a pair of aligned stars, like that one beat that crooned on and on in every sappy song ever and like all other lovely metaphors left on this Earth that she could lay her hands on.

The face Therese gave her as they pulled apart after that small eternity – all dazed with sparkling green eyes wide open – made Carol swoon a puddle in her heart.

She noticed a little box dangling in her darling’s hand, then – “Dearest, what’s with that thing there?”

Therese blinked just once and then looked like she’d restarted her whole system just for it to blush deeply

“Hey you, I bought desserts for us to share later… I hope you enjoy sweet things?”

“I’ll have you know now that _you_ yourself single-handedly started my addiction streak, honey” – Now just needed to add a wink to that, and voilà! Wasn’t it just _so_ great to make Therese go flushed red all the way up to her ears?

“Come on, come on in! You can just leave your shoes over there, it’ll be fine.”

“So what are we having tonight?” – They linked hands to walk over to the simmering pot Carol kept going on the stove; the sight of her darling peering right in and making the most adorable little hum she had ever heard had her heart running straight into overdrive. _Therese_.

“Well, I was thinking that we could have some spaghetti with meatballs, just like in that cartoon movie Rindy so loves, you know, Lady and the Tramp is what it’s called… What do you say?”

As Therese stood up straighter to peck her soundly, smiling out a “You’re really going to be the death of me” onto her lips, Carol could only tell herself smugly that she’d _known_ for a fact that if that line couldn’t work its magic, nothing else would ever come close to – only the best of all cheesy lines for her pretty star now, and yeah, that was that on _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Chez moi' just means 'at my place' :D  
> -  
> The title, 'Romulus', is a song by Sufjan Stevens (he's really popular in the USA if I think correctly?), a favorite artist of mine whose long, long career feels to me like it gets soaked with grief itself all over, if that makes sense to you... Here's a link to both the lyrics and the song, which is very on-the-nose Therese Belivet for me  
> https://genius.com/Sufjan-stevens-romulus-lyrics  
> On that page was also where I came across this paragraph quoting him, and I do think that it's ...something to consider:  
> "Our parents do the best they can, under the circumstances. They do what they can, and it is always the very best. Who’s to say if you were not loved or touched. There was too much to do, there were too many children, too many meals to prepare, too many sheets to fold, too many socks to match, too many floors to sweep. Oh the terrible burden, each of us doing the very best we could. Try to imagine yourself in their shoes. Living their lives, mowing their lawns, hanging their laundry, cleaning their clothes, arguing their arguments. You would do far worse. You would fail completely."  
> His career has dealt with a lot of subjects: loss of first love and innocence, abandonment, death and destruction, disillusion, etc, but also there are just so many pieces that have hope, faith and gratitude for fate shining all throughout, so if you're interested you should click around to discover him :)! My favorite albums are 'Michigan', 'Seven Swans', 'Illinois', and 'Carrie and Lowell', the last one there is an absolute must.  
> -  
> Cheers to everyone now, I hope you've enjoyed this! Live ya best life! :D


	9. In the Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From one corner of her periphery, she could make out the shape of Therese with her palm still hanging on the countertop. Moving it up to smooth over an eyebrow right around the bone before putting her entire body back in movement, making space for boiling hot pasta coming over – fingers slid across the marble not unlike the motion she’d made their first day on the tablecloth before leaving the café.
> 
> _(Uncertainty?)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice Monday to all y'all! :)

“Do you want me to do anything to help around the kitchen?”

“Oh no, no, it’s fine honey, almost all done in here anyway. Tell you what, how about I set the stove down to low for everything to soak in just a little bit more, and give you a quick tour around the apartment?”

Smiling to herself as her dearest lingered to take one last sniff at the simmering sauce – expression looking exactly like that of a love-sick puppy being led away from her fluffy bed, Carol once again let their fingers clasp together as they stepped back into the short hallway. Therese’s thumb only let a small moment go to waste in their connection, then (her darling explorer); before beginning to swipe back and forth all around all the expanse of Carol’s skin that it could reach.

Always in a quest for adventures, for bravely barging headfirst into life as only her darling would – the simple motion turned her heart all warm now, kept her content and safe. Much like all the things she’d tried to describe to Abby and then some more, whenever they got together like this: simple and bare of any frivolous thrills, their union felt every inch to her like an all-new star. (Flung out of space to land into Carol’s life on one honey-shone day of summer.)

“So there’s the living room, as you’ve seen on your way in… and this in here is my bedroom” – Carol said by ways of introduction with her fingertips rapping slightly against the door, still halfway open from earlier when she’d gone in to change into fresh clothes before Therese’s arrival. Noticed that she not-so-subtly peeked inside through the gap before quickly averting her gaze back out shyly ( _that_ surely made for some interesting information, Carol had decided right then and there) – “And down the hall there is Rindy’s room... We actually just finished installing everything required for the school year a couple days ago, do you want to go take a look at the fancy table she’s chosen for herself?”

 

-

 

“Okay, say, let’s get some spaghetti cooking and then it’s all good to go, alright? Can you pass me the box sitting over there please?”

Humming in her throat as Therese handed the pasta over and wandered out of her eye line shortly afterward – probably to go investigate around the kitchen, Carol was stirring some sauce around for it to cling onto the meatballs when she felt warmth approaching from behind; the sensation turning her all tingly around the shoulder blades. Therese (starlight Therese, her full-of-surprise wonder) had stepped closer with one palm snaking past Carol’s side to settle down onto the kitchen counter and the other reaching to play with some of her blond curls. Twirling the locks softly into half-moons with the tip of a finger, letting them drop back down into place, each new movement read for a revelation…

Snuggling with just the slightest of pressure to peck against the base of her nape thus sending thunder-quick snaps all over the sensitive patch of skin there. Would time always run askew like this, this right here, every single time they came to be as one?

Carol spread a handful of pasta into bubbling water so she could turn right around to face this brand-spanking-new marvel – “Oh chérie…” – Decided that she’d gladly put quite a fortune into betting that she was turning all flushed around the cheeks right this instant, if her dearest’s own reaction upon seeing her face was any hint to go by. Lit up with emotions to the tune of her own heartbeats; Carol couldn’t help but lean forward, bridge their gap in the small bubble that Therese had carved out for them with her arm and the counter to slowly, slowly kiss and savor all the sweetness of such lovely lips. Just heavenly.

Therese – bright red around both tips of her ears – straightened up and led her away from all the stovetops, pots and pans for them to settle near the sink area where they’d be safer. Gently, so so gently let her mushy body lean against the marble top as her lithe frame hovered just barely out of touch; a palm once again came to rest right next to Carol's hip with all determination aligned in bright green eyes.

“I was on the way to come over earlier and I… missed you I guess. I think I miss you all the time all-the-time” – Therese mumbled, eyes resolutely staring at somewhere around Carol’s right cheek ( _Bravest heart of them all, what’s wrong with a bit of shyness from time to time now?)_ – “It’s so silly but sometimes even as we’re in the same room, I still come to miss you. I _know_ that we’re here together and I can feel it, feel our presence with all of my heart, yet... Oh, I keep thinking…”

A short pause spread, sparkling emerald green darting up so quick to gather something in her gaze, it must be so, Carol thought with an avalanche of emotions yawning in its wake – “I think I should learn to be more in the now, you know. Do you see what I’m saying?”

“You’re here, right here with me in this realest of ways, but before I knew and saw for myself this place called yours I’d imagined your life in every corner of this city that I stepped foot to. One time I passed Parc Monceau and wondered if you were there somewhere behind all that Haussmann blue, in the middle of doing whatever daily thing it is that you do… What your furniture would look like, which item being placed where… One instant you’d be folding laundry standing next to open windows to catch the soft breeze; the next you could be right by your door putting some shoes on – and then, then you’d step down out onto the street right as I was walking by for us to innocently run into each other just so: for the first time, the tenth time, it wouldn’t matter at all for I’d still smile at you… Want to talk to you and know everything that you are. Don’t you sometimes wish that we’d gotten to meet sooner, Carol? Back in some corner of New York, maybe – I’ve thought so much about it that it doesn’t make sense anywhere other than right in my heart. In Central Park where I could’ve run into you as you’d just bought ice cream for Rindy… in some hole-in-the-wall restaurant where you and Abby loved to frequent. Maybe then, then we would’ve known each other for longer than these mere weeks, days feel so short always and I don’t feel like I have enough time to be able to do all the million things that I want to with you.”

The timer suddenly went off mid-spiel, signaling that those 9 minutes had gone by for the strands of pasta to turn al dente; the sound made Carol turn her gaze with a start to the offensive pot, feeling as though she’d never ever seen it before. Why 9 minutes but not a whole half hour or whatever, why always during such important moments? – “Dear, hold that thought for a second now will you? I have to go drain this real quick and then I’ll be all yours” – From one corner of her periphery, she could make out the shape of Therese with her palm still hanging on the countertop. Moving it up to smooth over an eyebrow right around the bone before putting her entire body back in movement, making space for boiling hot pasta coming over – fingers slid across the marble not unlike the motion she’d made their first day on the tablecloth before leaving the café.

_(Uncertainty?)_

Carol practically threw the whole pot’s content into the strainer in a fit of haste to turn back to where her companion was still standing – reached her own hands up to rub over the collar of the soft sweater draped over her body.

Therese’s lovely dimpled smile showed, making her heart thump wildly – “Your hands are all warm-ish from holding the pot. No no, that doesn’t _mean_ I want them to move off of me! Anyway, what was I saying… Oh, well, it’s not that dramatic after all, you know. What I meant to follow up with is... I just meant to tell you just how these past few weeks have been so great, so so great for me, Carol, there’s nothing at all that could make this thing we have any better. There’s nothing to change. I realized that you’re not some fleeting idea, not a concept for me to draw all over... Maybe... oh, I'm not sure, maybe it was necessary back then when I was growing up, to just sit and think, sit and think and then think some more, all those years ago for none of us really had anyone else other than the one person that we are, you know? But I’ve moved on since, or I do try to... I don’t want to spend every moment by your side wanting to look at your heart through every angle, every scenario possible because in doing just that I’ll miss out on the real _you_. I _want_ to be in the now, have been trying, for I just realized that there’s nothing I love more than this current now with you in it, with us. Do you get what I want to say?”

Oh so, so gently so that this feeling would become theirs forever, Carol squeezed Therese’s shoulders for a beat before leaning fully against the countertop to pull them flushed together – there was no way on Earth she could let this woman go – “You have my answer, darling, yes, and you’ll have me too. We can go do whatever it is that you want to see, be it a scene, right here right now or wherever. I’m all real, as real as can be; and I’m here, so be right now with me and make every second our own… What do you say? Doesn’t that sound just so nice a thing, chérie, us being together, knowing we have all our time in the world?”

Therese hummed after those words, wrapping her arms snug over Carol’s shoulders. Now just rocking their bodies slowly – mellow hearts and everything as one white light, before dropping a little kiss against her jaw; their moment coming to an end with all the sweetest music notes saved up for one last hoorah – “Okay, I’m really really hungry now. Let’s eat, alright? I can’t wait to see if you’ll like what I bought for desserts!”

“Oh crap!”

“Huh? What’s up?”

“I totally forgot to save some of that starchy water before straining earlier!”

As Carol stood eyeing the strainer in the sink in exasperation, she could feel a soft pinch on her skin accompanied by her most favorite sound on all of this Earth – her darling's laughter as she pecked her once more on a cheek, stepped out of their bubble to go hover menacingly all over the meatballs again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter I wrote is from 'Hedgehog in the Fog', a Russian piece of cartoon about a little thing wading in the mist all on his own. I totally love the feel it gives (sorta ominous if I'm being honest, I have no idea why my friend who introduced this to me tied it so closely all over his ...allegedly lovely, charming childhood). All the trying to make sense of everything he comes into contact with, all the sounds of someone calling out for him from afar, missing him and wanting him closer, "Oh, who other than you knows how to count the stars?", and last but not least, the final moment was just about the prettiest thing to me: "Isn't it wonderful that we're together again." You can go check it out if you've got 10 minutes to spare!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW0jvJC2rvM  
> -  
> Parc Monceau is a little park not so far from Champs-Elysées, but a bit more subtle away from all the crowds. It has some strange installations spread here and there, which I think Google Maps has some pretty neat pictures from people who have checked in... Here's a picture of one corner of it that I took in the beginning of this summer:  
> https://78.media.tumblr.com/dc82916f1ea827af4c177c8c23f7fd1d/tumblr_pefg8l2Lar1wpx3zto1_1280.jpg  
> Within walking distance is Cathedrale Saint Alexandre Nevsky, a Russian Orthodox Church, which looks really fancy!  
> -  
> Haussmann is the name of the architect who helped establish the look of the majority of buildings in Paris, the ...homogeneity of the center of the city with façades and blue roofs and everything, I typed some random keywords into Google and found a nice blog article about it, so here's for you if you're interested  
> https://www.unjourdeplusaparis.com/en/paris-reportage/reconnaitre-immeuble-haussmannien  
> -  
> Have fun! :)


	10. Ispahan Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wrapped her lips around the tempting fruit, all game, made a show to hide it inside where she knew her blonde didn’t dare steal from _(not just yet)_
> 
> And smiled as brightly as the best diamond that it’d take for her to start trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun! :)

“How’s the meal for you chérie? If you want to go for some more I think there’s still a bit left sitting in the kitchen, so don’t hesitate alright?”

“Nooo, I’m all good Carol, really. Everything was seriously so amazing!” – Full contentment all over her body, Therese stretched to slide lower down the chair with wide eyes tracking as Carol pushed stray pieces on the plate together for one last bite. The silverware in her hands moved in their journey from across the table: up and down up-and-down, catching and keeping the light like a new full moon as they twirled in space. Thoroughly fascinating was all that it was – she’d learned to listen to her own heart’s whispers now with the realization that every small tiny thing to be discovered about this woman would just keep on pulling her deep... deeper down into gray-blue waves. Well, the places she’d go to follow...

Carol raised a brow as they caught eyes eventually, twinkling blue captured in joy like never before – “What’s with that look on your face?”

“Oh! I’m just thinking that you’re really trying to get to me with all this delicious pasta… I do see a pattern here. Do you remember the rigatoni…? And now this?” – Much to her ever-growing delight trying to find tiny cracks around the surface, the blonde wordlessly rolled her eyes with the question, blushing as she kept her gaze down low to finish the plate afterward.

After a still moment, Therese stood up and made a motion to clean up their table, hoping that she wouldn’t stumble halfway across with Carol’s gaze on her and end up being just so so terribly awkward – _Tonight of all nights!_ – “How about we move over to the couch for desserts now, what do you say? And did you sit white wine in the fridge for it to chill?”

“Of course honey, I chose the one that’s crisp but not too sweet like you’d asked… Therese, dearest, what’s it that you have in mind? All this suspense is really driving me crazy here!”

“Alright alright, I’ll go grab it all as quick as possible, so don’t you dare peek!! And can you get us some martini glasses while waiting please? Wine glasses won’t work as nice for this!”

Satisfied that she’d started to walk over to the couch without any real attempt to sneak, Therese pulled the [macaron](https://www.flickr.com/photos/hellokitty893112/29265747074/in/photostream) out onto a flat plate and popped their wine open (dug into the freezer for that something-else she’d hidden inside, too, while she was at it). With a jumping heart going on and on for miles per hour, she crossed all her fingers that the blonde would enjoy every step she’d planned; for she was yearning to hold her dear close again, closer now with plays of flavors and brand new tastes ready to join in to dance between the two of them. Wanting to see her light again... wanting to remember this forever for-ever. _If anything goes south, kisses are always able to make everything just about ten times more amazing… Definitely not going to skip on that, oh no…_

She carried everything out right as the blonde was absent-mindedly wiping some paper towel all over their two glasses – probably force of habit from the café now; clearing her throat a little to announce her arrival before sitting down, this time leaving no cold gap between clinking shoulders with all intents and purpose in the world. Therese felt – more so than heard, the reaction as her lovely companion’s whole frame went soft giving the plate a once-over:

“Oh chérie, that looks just so pretty, you really didn’t have to go out of your way like that! Please don’t tell me now that it cost you a lot?”

“Of course not, buying this wasn’t a hassle at all, I wish you could look at your face right this moment! Every little thing’s worth the extra mile as long as you love it, I’m not kidding.” – Therese smiled in elation, unbelievably pleased with herself as she watched Carol turn to pour for them from the bottle: each single motion certain with a definite jerk of a wrist, one true sight for sore eyes playing out right in front of her. Watching, always watching and wanting. From a corner of the plate, she retrieved two cocktail picks with a couple of frozen raspberries – already pierced and poked over several times with the pointy end, for she really _really_ wanted to get the whole preparation just right – and let some of that dry tanginess soak in as they sat steeping in the wine.

Therese couldn’t keep her eyes away from Carol as she leaned forward in all curiosity to inspect the confection, wide-open gaze roaming over all its little details: the soft soft spread of colors, a full circle of raspberries and blood-red rose petals curling on the smooth surface. _This is totally one-hundred-percent worth that sort-of-morose metro trip on the way here._

If Therese was already vibrating from some nook all the way deep down in her heart as the macaron got cut delicately, by the time Carol took the first bite – pink-sweet shell, raspberry bits with soft cream and everything; she felt as though she really could just implode at any given moment now. How did the room get this chafing within mere minutes between the two of them? And come to think of it, was it really that wise – all things considered – to sit so close to such a beautiful human being who had the uncanny ability to bring heat all over her surroundings?

_Bon Dieu._

Itching all over trying to keep her limbs all calm, Therese found herself unable to peel away from such a mesmerizing sight of her world’s favorite pair of rouged lips moving around softly to chew. A slim, lovely throat alternating between bobbing to swallow and humming in deep appreciation – was there ever to be another scene half as dizzying as this? And, _and_ , as if somehow able to feel heavy gazes roaming all over in brand new discoveries; Carol stopped short with her face still facing away – took her time _playing_ with another small cut – reached for some more wine and raised her eyebrows to peer for a long moment at swirls of light pooling low down the glass’s bottom, liquid gold flashin’ like their bestest of treasures. _(Something on your mind?)_

When she finally shifted around for eyes to catch, deep blue searching – they’d understood each other right then at that flip of a second, of course… of course – and brought their lips together, Therese saw her own decision rising to both palms like starlight. _Carol!_

She pushed a blinding kiss back and leaned forward, trapping the offered tongue into her own mouth to taste: taste life-drenched longing in the shape of the finest of all velvets now curling inside, raspberry-rose sweet and tangy along the spread of fizzy alcohol. Just _taste_. She was getting drunk, stumbling drunk right out of her ribcage just so, all strengths had gone into their endless dreams of forever joined hands.

Carol threw an arm around the back of the couch to gather her all closer by the shoulders with a swiftness that was most surprising, since up until this moment it usually was Therese as the one who’d drawn their pace: footsteps number one-two-three, every sweet song for them to twirl around along the courtship. She didn’t mind this at all, oh no, not one bit – head lost in the curious way her body melted softer, softest as she fell through-and-through into her companion’s skin for them to trade throbbing hearts, kiss-for-kiss and all those little sounds tingly from way down the back of their throats.

 

-

 

They fixed their state upright sometime later with Carol’s arm still holding her from behind, squeezing softly from time to time – Therese really could see herself get used to this wonderful feeling in no time at all: their intimacy shone on like golden arrows, a one-way street up across infinity. They took turns feeding each other the sweet treat and refilling on wine, sharing smiles and soft pecks as she leaned on the blonde’s side with one palm draping along a side of her thin sweater’s collar. Listening to whispers between their bodies and starry eyes, she slid fingertips back and forth, back and forth time and again – stretching slightly for the fabrics to let her gaze stay over tiny slivers of lovely unkissed skin every other few seconds.

She heard Carol clear her throat softly, one hand holding up a spear of soaked raspberries – now completely thawed, they looked plump, just lovely in the late light with a soft coat of clear liquid dripping. Her companion raised it right to her lips; amorous blue so so slowly edged her last shreds of composure off of the rails. She wrapped her lips around the tempting fruit, all game, made a show to hide it inside where she knew her blonde didn’t dare steal from _(not just yet)_

And smiled as brightly as the best diamond that it’d take for her to start trying.

Rouged lips stretched – “I had a wonderful time today, really… so I was wondering… Therese, darling. Will you go on a date with me? Tomorrow?”

_Yes, please. With you._

"And can I kiss you, like that, again?"

 

-

 

“Carol? What on Earth’s still keeping you up at this hour… Is everything alright?”

“Hi Abby!! I just have to tell you this real quick, I can’t keep it in… We’re having our first date tomorrow!”

Some silence spread over on the other end of the line – she could hear Abby hum a little to herself before background noises started to fade away to give into something oddly sharp as it set low around their static connection. _Abby’s not happy about it?_

Her best friend cleared her throat, suddenly sounding as though she was sitting right next to her:

“A date? Who’s this _we_? Wha… but I thought everything was going so great with Therese? What happened?”

_Oh. Right, forgot to make it clear._

“ _We_ ’re having a date tomorrow, Therese and I! Was that why you sounded so weird just now?”

Abby groaned softly in realization, muttered something completely inaudible like she was pulling her phone away to glare at it – exactly like she would Carol if they were to be physically in the same room right this moment. She’d seen that mock exasperated look for _decades_ now.

“Well babes, you should’ve just said so! Totally got me all worried there for a second, you know it’s terrible for my complexion. And first date? _My_ , I’m so glad that mesdames are making some progress! Would you pleeease tell me which one between the two of you cracked first, if I dare ask with all my courage?”

Carol scoffed – “You’re just incorrigible sometimes, you know? And I cooked her dinner tonight, I don’t know… it really felt like the best moment there’d ever be to ask her out… Wasn’t as though I _cracked_ or anything…” – Cringing to herself at the tiny white lie, there, but Abby probably would gracefully let her off the hooks this time. _Hopefully._

“Uh-huh, uh-huh, I see… Wait, so don’t you tell me that you’re leaving her all on her own in bed to come chat with me? What’s with you?”

Carol couldn’t help that it was now her turn to groan aloud, fingers flying right up to pinch between the eyebrows as brain cells desperately ran around trying to quench the scorching fire in her body, all lit up to the tone of Abby’s suggestion – “Abigail!! Stop that! And I got her an Uber earlier, so don’t you worry.”

Totally unprompted, the two best friends still spent a hushed second together wordlessly trying to figure everything out: now... did she imagine the look Therese had given her, chewing on those raspberries as they sat pressed so close against each other, shoulder to thigh? Did the palm stroking her collarbone all night mean…?

Abby made a funny little sound at long last – her signature audible-shrug to let people know whenever they were being daft right out of their minds – “Well, il y a toujours un lendemain, ya know what they say, so best not to dwell… Just text the lady some emojis while you wish her good night I guess? So do you have any place in mind for tomorrow?”

Carol cleared her throat, embarrassed with every second rushing by but it wasn’t as though she could get away with not telling the truth now; after all, she really was the one who’d called to squeal – “I’m thinking… You know that place near Pont de Sully?”

“You mean you’re eating…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Loud, loud cackles vibrated all up in her ears, Abby clearly was having a whole field day while she herself stood staring at the rumbling dishwasher, blushing hot heat all over – “ _Alright_ , I knew you have it in you, dearest bestie! Okay, okay, listen to me, no dress tomorrow, you hear me? Pull that short black skirt on, you know the one, white linen button down… not too thin – and oh, get that blue little foulard around your neck, are you getting the big picture here?”

“Okay I guess that makes sense… can kind of see what you mean... How are you and my Rindy down there by the way? Is she having fun?”

“Oh, what’s there to say… Just tons of trees and all those damn castles lying around… She loves everything though, asks me to wander out there for hours, so I’m thinking after the new contract’s all done I’ll bring her around some more? Is that alright with you?”

“I’ll call you tomorrow morning to talk to her and we’ll see, yeah? The place’s just not the same without her voice around, Abby, it’s all so quiet… I don’t even know what to do with myself half of the time now, you know that.”

“Of course, of course I do babe. I gotta dash now, so sweet dreams OK? We’ll be up early tomorrow so just call whenever, really”

“Abby? You still there? Thank you for this whole thing, you know? With Therese and everything…”

Another soft pause, the sound of curtains getting drawn rang from her friend’s side of the line: anytime, anytime – Carol knew she’d say just that, had been saying so and keeping all her promises for years on end. Always around.

“You’re a total nitwit, ya know that? And you're welcome! Night, Carol”

The call hit stop on the soft note of their smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Bon Dieu' - Good God!  
> 'mesdames' - my ladies  
> 'Il y a toujours un lendemain' - There's always another tomorrow :D  
> -  
> In case you missed it, here's the picture of the macaron that I chose  
> https://www.flickr.com/photos/hellokitty893112/29265747074/in/photostream  
> It's sold in Pierre Hermé, and here's its website for ya  
> https://www.pierreherme.com/products/signature-flavours/ispahan/ispahan-1.html  
> The first link shows the tiny 1-serving version of it which is a bit smaller than most people's palms, whereas in the official website it's the 3/4 serving size... also to me its spiral piping shape is just so ...ugly, AND somehow they don't offer 2-serving ones...? So for the sake of aesthetics I'll pretend that it's all smooth on the surface of the macaron, and big enough for two to share :D You can track the tags #ispahan #ispahandessert on instagram, there are lots of dreamy looking set-ups for you to daydream over :)!  
> The flavor is a mix between rose, raspberry and lychee - which really is just fruity rose to me, but they do add little chopped up bits of the fruit into the center cream, so the final texture's quite nice with the crunch, the watery-ness of raspberries, creaminess of the filling and the plumpness of lychee bits... Sweet in the beginning with all that almond powder and sugar, fresh fruit on the side and sweet again by the end...Now cut that with some dry white wine of your choice, I really hope that you can imagine it all! :D  
> -  
> Enjoy! :)


	11. Au Vent d'Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reluctant to let go, she felt Carol make a motion with her chin for them to walk further down along the river quay as her thin foulard slid back and forth, tracing blushing streaks on that sinful neck she’d gladly pay sums after sums (and then some more, oh, of course) to delve right upon. _Exactly like this, as all golden clocks go to melt and time grows horns from its bare hands... she can be my something blue, right here. Right this moment._
> 
> “Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun! :)

Carol: I’ll see you at midday near Pont de Sully? In front of Institut du Monde Arabe?

Therese: Mind telling me what’s on your mind? :)

Carol: It’s for me to know and for you to find out, sweet darling ;)

Therese: Big tease that you are…

Carol: xx

 

-

 

Having arrived a couple of minutes early in her haste, Therese idly stood admiring the hotpot of a mix of architecture in this neighborhood – old and new, some borrowed, Art Nouveau leaping through the greens. Hadn’t she seen this all before now, somewhere deep down in her fuzziest little dreams? Weren’t they all just one and the same in the end, come to truly think about it for a second? Longings of the heart – much like what she’d told Carol the day before, she really did use to walk, take her time around the city wondering about all the spaces and rooms the blonde could possibly occupy: what kind of apartment, what choices of furniture for her life? How big would it be and would she have enough space to let the sun in to dance in the early morning as she started her day?

… Things to that extent.

Well… Now that she’d gotten her answers – which did satisfy her curiosity for the entirety of all of a minute really, her daydreams seemed to have taken a brand new turn… Unprompted, they caught her off-guard the moment she came to recognize them for what they were: How would her blonde feel to the touch of fingertips, there – bare of any last shreds of makeup, dressed down in comfy clothes at the end of the day when all had been said and done? What would she do, what kind of things would she tell herself by the moon’s silence as every other thing had fallen asleep? The shapes and sounds of her life with Rindy... Would she be given a chance to witness it all?

How did we ask other people to give us these kinds of things again?

She’d forgotten to ‘consult’ Dannie about _this_ step in particular, so it turned out to be – and it was all up to her to feel it out now, see for herself every last wonder of mysteries this union of theirs had in store. Looking back with hindsight’s spotless clarity, somehow their conversation felt to her like it’d taken place so so long ago, too; whole continents had shifted and blown out since then – had made ways for new blossoms to fill in-between the moments she wasn’t around to be able to hold the blonde close to her own deepest heart of hearts.

From afar, she could make out the figure of the one and only Carol doing that little half-jog thing to cross the street over to where she was. Bursts of emotions rising up deep from gravity, she put her body back into motion for them to meet halfway across the borderline of their worlds: immediately gathering her right into her arms.

“Darling” – her companion smiled breathlessly at the display of affection: equal parts pleased and surprised; hints of something else heady in the air twirling ‘round and ‘round for them to wake up. Therese rose, rose just like smoke facing her clearest of mirrors, rose to drop a little peck near the curve of her jaw to get closer to that perfume hiding underneath – feeling the blonde go soft by the one click of their touched skin. Feeling her shift into the embrace, deliciously so, for the chaste kiss to glide nearing a corner of red red lips where it turned boiling. Before their lips could find each other; she realized that she herself was pleased, too, that they came to be the way that they were.

Reluctant to let go, she felt Carol make a motion with her chin for them to walk further down along the river quay as her thin [foulard](https://www.cravates-shop.fr/assets/SKUImages/SHW-Z-53-060.png) slid back and forth, tracing blushing streaks on that sinful neck she’d gladly pay sums after sums (and then some more, oh, of course) to delve right upon. _Exactly like this, as all golden clocks go to melt and time grows horns from its bare hands... she can be my something blue, right here. Right this moment._

“Shall we?”

 

-

 

“Bonjour Mesdames, vous êtes prêtes à commander?” – A waiter stopped by after a moment; making Therese realize that she hadn’t even picked her menu up as she was too busy in the middle of toying with Carol’s skin in their joined palms to get back into the bright world. Scrambling a second too late, there, in her haste to flip the pages open for something to order, any random choice would have to do, whatever. From across the table looking completely casual ( _She’d gotten used to me acting all moony like this? Since when?_ ), she saw the blonde turn her eyes up to greet him, all smiley gaze with fingers still wriggling playfully about in their hold in the meantime.

“Bonjour, on prendra votre menu midi pour aujourd’hui… entrée et plat principal pour les deux” – A wink at Therese – “Les huîtres à partager pour commencer, de la sole grillée pour moi et deux coupes du bon vin blanc, bien frais s’il vous plaît.”

_Hm. Oysters and..._

“Très bien, et pour vous Madame?” – With a small start, she cleared her throat feeling absolutely lost – still staring at words upon blurry words to no avail whatsoever. The menu was simply making no sense at all, that must be it: was this real or was she imagining the whole thing? And… huh, Carol indeed was looking _awfully_ chill. _Hmmm._

“Uh… bon, je prends votre filet de bar s’il vous plaît.”

“Superbe. Vos huîtres arrivent tout de suite!”

Gathering their menus away with a final tap on the table, he dashed like a rush of the winds to go back into the kitchen leaving Therese behind just so – she who still felt as though she’d been doused and put to lay into a fuzzy haze with all volition intact… How strange was that, to wade into such sensations together with hand-in-hand and eyes wide shut?

Settling all attention back on their palms clasped as one, Carol’s shiny blue made her forget all the other people milling around; forget every last thing about the rest of the world just outside, peering in through the threshold… As only it could. _Oh, Carol… Tell me we’re really doing this?_

“I’m _so_ excited that it’s now September, you know? All those things they say about how you shouldn’t eat raw oysters during summertime. What a bother that is, having to keep an eye out for my most favorite of treats!”

Therese smiled at that, shaking her head slightly on its axis to clear away all wandering thoughts for this moment in time; and let her blonde take over the talking front. Sat back to just really really look at her, look at the seams containing pretty colors within one single frame of a person (Were they her truest always?), the way their bodies felt to each other even with all this distance in-between; some sort of heady, overwhelming push-and-pull in play every other second… Oh, but it was mostly pull, of course, written all over their ribs… Pulling Therese in, she was starting to feel the strain skin-taut as her eyes lingered across details – it wasn’t even halfway through their date, of course she was fully aware of _that_. They hadn’t even eaten yet, and already…

She felt the acute need (to steal, take and _steal_ , rush right back to that apartment on Auguste Vitu where they could and would–) to dig fingertips into her own skin just to stay upright with the way Carol was treating those oysters under her nose – blooming, juicy and soft to the slightest of pressures; she’d finally come to understand the euphemism _now_ , not knowing how to react to this particular piece of news. The blonde took one from their shared platter and ranged it onto stark white ceramic, fingers sure and deliberate. (Plucked a small cut of lemon and drizzled little droplets right on, eyes clinging over their spread.) Held open the reddest ring of lips to receive the treat and immediately Therese’s heart was K.O. to the beat of the one singular most subtle move to swallow down, down, down. She accepted her fate as it was – mind and soul stuck to the way the lovely blonde’s features loosened up just a fraction, soft blue clicking closed in decadence.

Carol grinned happily when her eyes fluttered back on, discarded the shell with a pleased nod of her head and looked at Therese – “One hundred percent magnificent, really. Darling, why don’t you try some? That one was my best ever!”

She stumbled her way through the rest of the meal after that, keeping a mental tally and fighting the urge to pull her hair up into a bun just so she could let some fresh winds circulate this scorching hot heat of a dance they were sharing. She’d burn soon, very soon, that was for sure. Oh, well...

The little sighs of satisfaction…

Eyes shut to savor each moment’s glory.

A slim, smooth neck moving up and down, like clockwork – like one-two-three you-wouldn’t-want-to-miss-a-single-second-of-this. Like look-at-it-and-tell-me.

Tell what to Carol now that wouldn’t warrant them being cringed all over by the whole clientele? (She hadn’t the slightest of ideas.)

Therese was hovering like _this_ close against the edge of combustion before deeming it suitable to go to the restroom, whose haven was waiting for her to chill out inside was she to dash away down toward the basement right this instant. Tripped a little against one foot of her chair as she stood up, because… of course. Just one of those days… Oh, the sweet graces of some cold, cold water splashing all over the face would surely do her some good now. _Get it together! We’re here to get to know each other better, not to_ –

Stopping that thought with resolution as she fixed for her features to look less like a hot mess shining in front of the mirror: a strand of hair here… another there for the effort to look… mostly effortless; she took a deep breath to refresh the whole system. Opening the door to walk back up into the sunlight, though, she realized all at once that nothing at all could’ve possibly gotten her prepared for the sight of one Carol leaning against the wall looking (breathtaking) ...sheepish?

“Chérie” – she jerked her gaze away from the tiled floor with a start, stepping to move slowly, slowly closer in; beloved lioness all gone for the time being – “Are you alright?”

Blushing something hardcore, Therese pulled a hand up to scratch lightly around the nape where hot heat was starting to prickle on all around… unsure too, of course, for all that it was – surprised that the blonde was trying to shut herself out away from their fun little games judging from the shades of her demeanor.

“Was it the food? …Did I make you uncomfortable? Darling, I’m so sorry for acting like …that up there, it was terrible of me. Do you want to call it quits for today? I mean it, I’ll just go have the bill covered and we can get you an Uber?”

Therese blinked. _Huh?_

Upon closer inspection, Carol sure looked like she was genuinely upset – brows all dipped, blue eyes clouded over and she was standing so far, _too_ far away from her with palms wringing stiffly around the hips. What was up with _that_?

As her blonde absently reached fingers up to untie the soft little foulard, faraway eyes training at somewhere over her shoulder – _Was it chafing her skin?_ – she managed to croak out one completely ineloquent sound in the shape of

“What?”

The fabrics came off with a small tug, and naturally Therese stepped closer, wanting Carol to pass it over for her to play with as it was undoubtedly still warm-ish from body heat. Blue eyes wide and sincere, nothing else was shining in their reflection but her own face staring back – “I’m really, really sorry, chérie. I won’t push you again, ever, watching you run away like that even just for this one time... already it’s too much for me. I’ll walk back up first and we’ll meet by the door out front when you’re ready to go?”

Bewilderment finally kicked in as she saw her turn away to head for the stair steps – “Carol, what… wait! I didn’t run out of discomfort!!”

She’d _die_ inside that shade of blue one day, she just knew it. Taking the scrunched up foulard from limp fingers and wrapping it around her own neck much like she would a strip of bowtie, she approached with both palms on the blonde’s shoulders for her to stay still – “ _Baby_ , please stop worrying. I want it too, everything you want to gift me with, and we’ll talk about it later _after_ this date, OK? I ran down here only because I’d like to think that I’m a little above crawling over the table to attack where you were sitting, and that was the only reason!! My answer is yes, yes, and I’d hate it if you think that you were too much!”

Carol still looked a little skeptical with one leg angling away from their stumbling tête-à-tête, heeled toes merely a step away from the stairs. What to say to put her at ease now?

_Oh. Right. Well… I suppose nothing’s better than bits of my own truths as a sample..._

Therese blushed at what she was planning to confess to smooth the blonde’s guilt over, a tiniest tad scandalized with herself – “I can’t believe I’m talking about this in public… but… Carol, I’ve noticed everything. Every single oyster, the wine you ordered knowing very well that it gets me… going, especially after last night. Your little reactions, hums and sighs… everything. And I want it, I want more from you. Always. So, uh, I’m thinking… how about… for each scene you made up there, I’ll take that as one time? Like, you know,… “

Hallelujah for that did the trick, they were both shivering by now with Carol looking exceptionally enticing, even more so than her usual (already unbelievable) amount. She decided that she loved, loved this look on her blonde: wanted her all red-cheeked like this more often for her eyes only, see how far it’d take them through space – but maybe minus this little burst of panic down the basement restroom, there, that kind of negativity was sort of uncalled for.

 

-

 

Carol eyed her darling as they stepped toward the metro station, dainty fingers trying to knot the foulard in place with some inaudible humming from the back of the throat – “Do you like it?”

Therese turned to her at once, beaming as pretty as a thousand moons up in the sky – “Of course, it really made the shade of your eyes pop! I barely could keep my hands to myself ever since early noon”

“So wouldn’t it look better on my own neck…? So you can gawk at it for some more to your heart's content?”

“Oh, nah, not a chance… It’s mine now, and that’s that!”

A turn of companionable silence spread as they chose a calm wagon to settle in, ready to go anywhere – “So where are we heading to now, Miss ‘Full-of-Secrets’?”

 

-

 

“I can’t believe it! How did you know? I’ve literally been holding my breath to come here ever since they started putting up all those advertisements all over the place!!”

Chuckling softly as Therese clung to her with enthusiasm shooting off the roofs, Carol guided them into the front doors of [Dalí Exhibition](https://www.daliparis.com/en) – where lights and blinding items were welcoming each of their venturing footsteps. Initially she’d dubbed this part of their date as Seduction,-A-Sequel™ to follow up after that lunch... but, well, all things considered, maybe she should try to take it slow now lest her darling cringed in discomfort for real this time and – Heavens forbid, let go of all this vertical cuddling they’d been going for. Could Hébuterne and Modigliani, from once upon a time, have ever held a candle to what Carol-and-Therese were having together now strolling near their old beloved Bateau-Lavoir, a witness of colors and feelings, testament of hearts?

_Chill, Carol. Dial it down._

She’d decided to just hang back and follow Therese around for now, maybe show her one or two of her most favorite sculptures, and then… then, hopefully they could go back home so very soon to…

Impossible to think about anything else other than _that_ , she groaned internally. She really, really wanted them to enjoy this for what it was since it was a trippy walk up the hills after all… Wanted them to genuinely savor all these things instead of spending every other second squirming in anticipation, skin hot and heavy with raspy clothes feeling as though every single piece was being set on fire as she walked onward. Reaching a hand up to brush over her face, she stood still in front of [Adam and Eve](https://www.daliparis.com/en/oeuvres/adam-eve) as her darling had wandered away from their embrace – curious little thing, always on a quest, always wanting to absorb light right into her heart. How did she do that?

It was a miracle all in itself, was what she eventually came to as conclusion: that Therese had chosen to carve out space there for her to live and breathe inside. _My heart, I'll keep it in your heart._ A room of Carol’s own, whatever else in life could she have asked for to be happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bonjour Mesdames, vous êtes prêtes à commander?" - Good morning ladies, are you ready to order?  
> "Bonjour, on prendra votre menu midi pour aujourd'hui... entrée et plat principal pour les deux. Les huîtres à partager pour commencer, de la sole grillée pour moi et deux coupes du bon vin blanc, bien frais s'il vous plaît." - Good morning, we'll have your midday lunch menu for today... starter and main dish for the both of us. Oysters to share in the beginning, grilled sole fish for me and two glasses of good white wine, well-chilled please.  
> "Très bien, et pour vous madame?" - Very well, and for you, ma'am?  
> "Bon, je prends votre filet de bar s'il vous plaît" - Well, I'll have your sea bass filet please"  
> "Superbe. Vos huîtres arrivent tout de suite!" - Super. The oysters will come right up!  
> -  
> Dali! :D I've been sitting on him ever since mentioning Modigliani in my third chapter :D  
> Almost in a yearly routine for some reason, as soon as it gets to the end of summer advertisements for Espace Dali at 11 rue Poulbot 75018 will pop up all over the place, especially down the metro stations. Since the average time of daily transit spent underground in Paris is around an hour or two for most people, it's hard to miss out on those :)!  
> -  
> If you're interested, here's little excerpt from 'Henry and June' by Anaïs Nin whom I absolutely am in love with, which kinda helps set the mood for most of my words:  
> "I have at last caught her weakness. Her life is full of fantasies. I want to force her into reality. I want to do violence to her. I, who am sunk in dreams, in half-lived acts, see myself possessed by a furious intention: I want to grasp June's invasive hands, oh, with what strength, take her to a hotel room and realize her dream and mine, a dream she has evaded facing all her life."  
> :)!  
> -  
> Cheers! :D


	12. À la Dalí

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve had you, countless turns of skin over and over again as we speak: always you, in a thousand cities, behind a thousand different windows. Can you see it? I’ve had you for every moment of time, heaven and hell one and the same as long as I get you to stay in my arms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vaguely NSFW (I think?)  
> -  
> Enjoy! :D

Hand-in-hand pressing flushed, they made their way back – wind-soft and Sunday slow, thoughts draping over all into themselves. Carol pulled the door open and watched on as (once again, oh) Therese took her sweet time to look around at all of her life just like yesterday: …yesterday where they’d been somewhat different, somewhat brand new, springtime blossoms as it was.

“I’ll go and steep some nice tea for us, alright?”

Dearest darling – in the middle of crouching to get her socks off, shot a palm to cling onto her wrist as she stumbled out of balance – “Ooh, boy, almost tripped over you for a second there. Okay, tea sounds nice, just don’t take too long?”

_Well…_

In the quiet of her kitchen, Carol gingerly took two mugs out (she who had never ever done this before), took to set them up together to be able to admire them for what they were: very well turning her into such a sap now just by the simple sight of them standing side by side. Therese and Carol, yes please, then Carol and Therese and all the other pretty combinations for the way they rang to her heart in-between every intake of moonlight as breaths. How did it come to be so beautiful, stumbling right into her hold like this?

“A penny for what’s on your mind?” – Her darling sounded from a few steps away before pressing her front softly against her; both palms now golden on the counter, both palms sure. Was it really just twenty-four-hours ago where they’d stood exactly right here waiting for pasta to boil? Could she herself believe that? _It sure feels longer_ : for they’d parted entire worlds and some more since then, smooth as water; parted right through to build one anew up from touch and glance, soft fruits and little teasing games for them to meet halfway in space. Worth it, so so worth it: Carol pressed back into their contact and hummed out her welcome, soft and reserved only for Therese’s ears (welcome-well,-come-to-me).

A beat of silence, she could feel her snuggle onto her nape here and a shoulder there, could feel linen shift around tender skin alongside the speeding movements of her heart. Another beat before her darling spoke up again, this time so still in their union that she had to reach through vines and all the lines time and again to grasp at words, pull them all in for a sip of tastes:

“Have you ever thought of it?” – A soft sigh from behind, she desperately wanted to round back to face this marvel: see how it’d look, now, quivering in the embrace of a someone straight out from her deepest of dreams – “For I have, of course, Carol…”

She finally got to turn after another second had rushed by and Therese’s entire body had gone mush-soft in feelings: breath skipping a beat at the way her darling immediately had one palm up ready to caress her cheek – back and forth, and the other to cushion where her lower back would meet leaning against the sharp marble corner. This crooning, swooning, easy-living heart of hers – “I’ve had you, countless turns of skin over and over again as we speak: always you, in a thousand cities, behind a thousand different windows. Can you see it? I’ve had you for every moment of time, heaven and hell one and the same as long as I get you to stay in my arms.”

Ardent emerald, her darling must’ve caught something shiny in her face for she was smiling through soft touches around the collar now; never astray, never lost in the flames they’d started looking for warmth – “Oh, please don’t cry. Don’t. I only want to make you happy, want to hear you sing... Let me deserve your heart, don’t cry.”

Halfway Amsterdam-high ( _Already?_ ), Carol fell right through the greens and clung as her head buzzed, buzzed and buzzed on like never before – “Well… let’s just forget this damn tea for now, what do you say?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Will you take me to bed?”

 

 

Act One: [Vénus de Milo aux Tiroirs](https://kodamae.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/vc3a9nus-de-milo-aux-tiroirs.jpg)

 

As Carol had left after a sweet peck to go take all her makeup off down the hallway, Therese stood by the bedroom’s window – to think, to wonder as per usual – staring down at what was visible (little corners of the street) like some sorts of a visitor brand new into the good life. Couples twirling their way past her periphery now, pairs after pairs of strangers mingling through Espace Dalí looking content within every single inch of their private worlds: Oh, so she really was not the only one on Earth to be feeling this way after all… gold all blooming. Were those people as happy, too? Heart-drugged?

Her blonde stepped in and the scene immediately expanded enough to be for two: no more space for contemplation. Faces fresh and shy as rose petals the both of them, Therese glanced for one last time outside into where the rest of this world would dance on, dance on into dust (of course), minus Carol-and-Therese. Closing the soft curtains up all at once and hoping that such conviction would help keep them together just so, forever-and-ever.

Unwrapping Carol for a bite was too much on her restraint, but oh, what else was to be expected when it came to this: button after button down the row, linen making way for soft smooth skin (all gold, all unkissed for now) – too much! So much that she just had to steal her right into her arms the moment their last cut of fabrics had reached the floor; steal her, naked and home. The purposeful body stretched on-and-on on top of her where they’d settled in bed, both free lioness and her woman rollin’ pressed into the loveliest of all creatures – dancing and Therese had to put a palm out for hips to still, dazed and ready-set-go – “Slow down, slow down. Let me see everything, I want to be with you for hours.”

Carol huffed, nails scratching one shoulder all over as she hid her face into the crook of Therese’s neck – “ _With you_ , I’ll burn soon and you know it.”

Torn between the need to feel and to see, she laid her woman down onto her back – golden locks of hair over white pillow canvases and. Oh. Carol seemed to be enjoying this new thing they’d managed to carve out for themselves a whole lot, so it was, for she struck a gasp and raised both legs up, up; vixen and all hers to lock their skin aligned.

_Carol._

Flip of a switch Primavera-drunk, she let their hips cling and reached one hand to scratch over Carol’s calves settled on her hips, loving the way she opened herself up (opened up, asking), loving the way she writhed underneath with skin twisting in the most womanly of expressions. Tempting wide-eyed greed. Rising up drugged and hazy, Therese started her way to claim: First her soft mouth where she tasted dizzy warmth, wet and red hot as rouge.

Trapping Carol’s tongue and pull the muscle through her own lips shaped like a sharp O for her to slap on shoulders and whine out of frustrating stimulus (loving this).

The dip of the neck where she longed to leave marks behind, longed to make it rosy and taken as hers; why not, hers-all-hers by the end of today.

She pulled to sit back a little bit on her heels – as reluctant as could be facing this marvel, and caressed all over Carol’s inner thighs as eyes opened up in a series of blinks, blue shades hooded and amorous – “Darling, what are you doing…? To me? My body…”

They smiled with fingers coming to join on top of a heaving stomach, curled breath up and down up-and-down like clockwork; this one circle where they didn’t ever have to leave for both hands would turn horribly, terribly lonely without the other zipping past. With an exhale, she lay again to Carol’s left and gathered the limp body for it to settle down halfway on top of herself.

Winding across blond locks and caressing all that was within reach with her right palm, her left hand pulled down, down, down pinning a soft leg open and started asking for Carol’s release. Of course, oh, of course her woman was slick-smooth by now; Poseidon in their light, Therese felt from deep within like she herself might actually cry by the time the blonde was through with this dance. As soft as what her heart felt, her fingers glided about like Eve’s most faithful serpent, encouraged by all the little sounds vibrating all up their shared space. Skin and folds completely drenched, some twirls around a straining clit and she kissed every inch that she could come to, palm pressing hard up ready lips awaitin’, the opening for this one play that she was driving herself stir crazy over.

“I’ll take care of you if you let me so, Carol” – She slid in, hot heat tighter than any clinging mouth for her to kiss. Soft skin Eros and malleable, her companion gasped out with twisting halves – “And I don’t just mean right this moment. I mean… you and Rindy. I want to be there for you, if you’ll let me.”

A finger, and then two ( _Three?_ ), Carol was pushing wantonly onto her body now with muffled sounds all over calling out her name – beauty obscured in the crook of her neck as she rode up and down to chase this peak like struck lightning, first of many. Fleetingly, Therese thought of stealing her world’s gold again – thought of bringing it home, used her knee to pull Carol wide and reached up deep, deeper. The strain was... exquisite, unlike anything she’d ever fallen for: skin-tight open, sinful yet the way it came to be was so so natural that had her never wanting to leave this velvet; head growing mad, absolutely mad and heavy with want for this creature. Losing the last of all resolves, she pressed to take her on her back again, heard a raspy little ‘Oof’ as she hit the mattress alongside a puff of exhale. Immediately stilled movements with a wince:

“Oh… oh my god, did I hurt you?”

Carol stretched with both legs trying to curl through shoulders, face tilting up and deep want shining from all the way in the back of her throat. Dancing in lines – “Darling… mon coeur, why did you stop?”

When the right moment ticked in – Therese knew, _knew_ and sensed it in her heart, she kept Carol well-filled and pinned against bedsheets, ran a thumb softly up along the sopping wet slit to toy with the base of her nub, one-two-three and… ( _Oh_ ) Carol came and came in spades. Body arching and throat bobbing, blue eyes squeezed shut as she rode the last little pumps inside with fingertips pawing all over her shoulder blades. She’d finally had this woman under her skin and every single cell of her heart just _swooned_ at the sight of pleasure, soft as clay, play-with-it.

Leaving one digit inside for the last of shivers to set, still and stable as her heart: she caressed her blonde’s jaw, neck and up again to her chin, swiping back and forth like some sight never before seen. Flowers freshly picked, Carol started to shift at long last, waist-up to look and stare in her search of something… What could it be now for blue to have turned impossibly soft? ( _For me?_ ) _Have you found it? I can give you everything as long as it's somewhere in me._

Started to shift and gave Therese a sweet kiss along with pecks and shades of little sighs, a face so dear, so beautiful it made her forget how to breathe. She reached, dazed in infinite longing to sweep all strands of gold behind flushed ears and dropped back down to drape herself against such an otherworldly body: Right there and then, she felt herself fall all over again brand new (last days of summer), it must be so for no other sight in her most vivid of imaginations could ever get her like this – most tender and warm, burning hot reality. Overwhelmed, Therese rasped out her lust before softly taking silk again

“One, one more time” – A heart with two backs; she was still wet with bloomed folds parting.

 

-

 

As her blonde lay soft afterward, Therese had taken it upon herself to keep going with all these roundtrips of touch around the apex of damp thighs nearing her sensitive core – backing out before it could come to ache, she saw that her body couldn’t take any more for the time being. Breathing saccharine for long moments, blue gaze half shut – “You’re gentle to me, mon coeur”

She nuzzled into blond curls – “Carol, Carol, my Carol,…”

They both smiled, content in their embrace – “I like the way you say my name. Like a song, like something you’d let grow in the garden”

Therese agreed with a soft nod, curious over the tenderness of her companion’s rapture. Was she wearing it on her own face, too? Would that be a surprise?

“Of course, of course. There’s no need at all to pluck away a thriving blossom.”

(And simply because she couldn’t help herself, she ducked for another peck onto a flushed cheekbone – “I have to have you again, third or fourth, before our night’s through.”)

 

 

Intermezzo: Pour invoquer Pan, Dieu du vent d’été

 

Clearing her throat as she felt the gown slip past mid thighs; Carol rolled her eyes and subtly shifted her posture around only for… oh. Only for touched skin to brush against the couch through this one _skimpiest_ layer of fabrics (might as well be thin air as it was) that Therese could dig out from all depths of the closet for her to wear. _The audacity of this one… Uncanny, really._

Midway past her attack on Rindy’s stock of ice cream, her darling paused for a second to look up at her, there, and raised a soft palm to settle onto her bare knee – “What’s up with all your wiggling? Do you want a bite of this? We can totally share it you know, like, technically it’s yours”

Carol almost snorted at that, amused if not for the genuine offer peering all over her favorite shade of emerald green – “Non, non merci chérie, c’est bon… It’s just, well… I’m a bit sensitive after...”

Well… For someone who’d literally just drilled her down within an inch of her life like the way her darling did, she had to admit that it was the oddest thing to see cheeks getting all blushing red like that still. Odd, yes, of course, since she’d never seen that look on anyone directed at her. Strange and mostly… endearing. _Therese…_

Overcome with soft soft affection for everything that her dear was, she reached both palms up to swipe over a blushed jawline – “Look at you, you smug puppy. _You_ were the one who swiped underwear right out of my hands when I tried to put some on just now”

Therese showed her lovely dimpled grin at that: wordless, completely unfazed; and kept on focusing on the poor ice cream cornet as those damn fingers restarted their journey – twirling and curling alongside the seam of her flimsy-as-all-hells gown. _Unbelievable._

Once done with chocolate and sugar, Therese (bless her tact) gingerly pulled Carol’s legs up to drape over her lap onto the couch, and... and proceeded to stubbornly swat all fingers off and away from winding around the fabrics (trying to keep it from pooling down her last two inches of modesty) – “Therese!”

Her darling stared down for some long moments, gaze shifting in its wake; and when she glanced up, it was clear and burning, it was taking what was left of her crumbly composure

“Well... Don’t think I forgot for a second there, Carol… You did take your sweet time pulling that scene with those oysters this noon…”

_Oh. Oh my god. That._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Non merci, chérie, c'est bon' just means 'No thanks honey, it's all fine' :)  
> -  
> For all versions of Venus de Milo with Drawers by Dali everywhere in the world, I prefer the ones without all the pompoms :D Having them there, white-ish and fuzzy somehow just makes the piece less ...pure, in a way... though I'm sure they're there for a purpose... 'Freudian' and whatnots... Other than a tiny little piece Freud wrote about incest and tribal choices for totems, I completely dislike him for everything that he stood for...so maybe that's just me!  
> -  
> Here's the link for the piece I put up as the Intermezzo (To invoke Pan, the God of summer winds)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/2UbOEFpeX4jGQJjwD5ydUn?si=HaqsmimzQsyOwNceM7URnQ  
> or if you don't have Spotify, this short cut does the trick to my ears, too:  
> https://www.bbc.co.uk/music/tracks/n4phrf  
> -  
> I hope you've had fun with this! :D


	13. À la Dalí (Reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well into their night as Therese had breathed every last gasp away, had blinked once, twice with release and gone soft right under her skin: here Carol was, awake and still – wanting to ring her darling up for a connection and make it brand-new for all ears waitin’, wanting to join wherever on this Earth that she might wish to run to now.
> 
> _Take me, take me anywhere. Talk to me wherever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When we open ourselves  
> you yourself to me and I myself to you  
> when we submerge  
> you into me and I into you  
> when we vanish  
> into me you and into you I  
> Then  
> am I me  
> and you are you  
> (The Reader by Bernhard Schlink)

Act Two: [Téléphone Aphrodisiaque](https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/dali-lobster-telephone-t03257)

 

Well into their night as Therese had breathed every last gasp away, had blinked once, twice with release and gone soft right under her skin: here Carol was, awake and still – wanting to ring her darling up for a connection and make it brand-new for all ears waitin’, wanting to join wherever on this Earth that she might wish to run to now.

_Take me, take me anywhere. Talk to me wherever._

She stood and pulled her softest of sheets up to reach dark hair: a sleeping body sated by fresh embrace; stood and stared longingly at the empty space to her darling’s left... To her right. (On top of her even, there where she’d find herself wrapped in arms soon as Therese woke up – bright, and demanded all over again to feel crashing waves on hips in quick, quick, lightning-snap-quick succession.) Put the gown back on and she was finally ready to step out into the dark hallway.

By the doorknob with a parting glance about her bedroom, she noticed at long last that for hours (upon hours) on end amid their throes they’d readily kept all curtains wrung shut – hoping that no world would dare barge in trying to steal their flames, and. Hm. While she wasn’t too sure over whatever it was that’d urged her darling to do it at the time, now… now as she looked through toward the shadows of the cross… In this light, the draping threads of silence whispered that it also meant that nothing was to get out either. A bubble of locked embraces.

Carol exited the scene shortly afterward, no drums nor rolls to trace her notes.

In the very beginning; she’d picked this apartment, this one place out of several on-the-nose necessities. Foreseeable – between the funds set aside that’d guarantee Rindy through at least the last moments of middle school without a hitch, the café’s acquisition with Abby and all the procedures surrounding her marriage’s final days… Well, then… What to say now other than the fact that _that_ really didn’t leave her with too many coins to waste away on fancy thrills: just enough for Nerinda Aird and Carol Ross, just right for a corner of two.

It was truly nice, all the same: every windy little morning as they walked their way to the metro station, the top of the Eiffel loomed in the background within the span of a touch. Rindy’s school stood close by, cross the Seine at once and there they were; basically right by its front door’s wide welcome. Easy peasy… As for this street of theirs – well, Javel had always been a good neighborhood for as far back as she could trace ever since her young adult years (prowling the whole world through-and-through with Abby…). Calm, though not too calm it’d be a bore, oh no; And if her baby girl was to ever fancy some sportive outings they could always go out to watch tennis came next summer... Run by the patch of woods…

All things considered for circumstances as such, bon, she’d made some good calls was what she now came to as her own conclusion, standing by the kitchen window with a glass of water limp in both palms. (In came one Therese Belivet with her prettiest of flowers and scents into this new life.)

Carol stopped and took a moment to twirl one wrist; let the liquid dance, dance, dance inside. Took a moment just to entertain the idea of a world in which she’d met her darling back somewhere along the streets of New York – for that thought was almost tempting, too tempting, too sweet to let go: What could have been if… ?

Say, before Therese came to start college, start her new life here? Mental math, one-two-three, Carol winced a little upon the realization that that would make it… 4 years ago, was it? That must’ve meant no Rindy just yet, Harge was in the picture, still, for what it was worth; for all the fragments that they’d held onto themselves... Therese would’ve been what now… 18. _Oh._

She knew that her darling had never stepped back to America after that initial departure other than the trip right before their first encounter, their first lunch… And what if they’d met during those last months of hers in that land? No, no, scratch that thought away too, please, for she truly hadn’t been too _happy_ around that particular period of time. Had been sad out of her minds waiting for her lawyer’s plans, had been holing herself within four walls swatting away all of Abby’s concerned glances and sighs. That’d be a no from her, certainly: she couldn’t even bear the thought of reliving those past months before getting full custody – with or without Therese by her side… wanting to hold her…

Again, her darling would’ve been way way too busy with that inheritance will too, anyway... (And she herself would’ve looked an unruly mess… but, hey. For once it was all good for this moment in time, right this second; so there truly was no need to cry, no, _especially_ not over spilled milk.)

Carol kept forgetting just how young Therese really was sometimes… Twenty-two now, and she, she herself almost thirty-four: the reminder made her want to pinch both temples softly, want to spend some time out here to sit alone in the glowing panes of streetlight. Did her darling really mean it earlier? About being there. About... about wanting to take care of her and Rindy – but Carol Ross didn’t even _need_ to be taken care of to begin with. (Was this true?) The fact of the matter was, Carol hardly ever felt like she needed anything from anyone ever since Rindy’s coming to life, the very best amid the handful of good things that had happened to her after, say, sliced bread.

After all, she was a big girl with her business that’d feed very well, her nice roof to escape snowy winters and…

And…?

Okay… well, that was that for her, take-it-or-leave-it: a steady job and a house… a beautiful daughter that she loved above all, so did she really need anything else to tide over just to call it a life?

Hmmm. What if… what if Carol _wanted_ something else other than what she’d always deemed to be mere necessities? She already had everything she should’ve _needed_ , so who to say she couldn’t start _wanting_ right now, right now? _Oh, these damn clichés…_

She drank some of the water, gulped it right down only to realize that all this time she’d been absolutely parched. Decided to take one last detour to the bathroom past the hallway before sliding her way back into bed where lay the shape of her lovely darling – all this thinking was making her sleepy.

 

-

 

Carol stood with her own reflection in the mirror, a craning swan: fabrics clinging low, slightly ruffled blond curls and all the million-odd tiny other things that just happened to tag along after their …activities. _What a sight, there._

Therese was a-hundred-percent gentle, unbelievably so when it came to this – was what she’d found out right halfway through her first turn in the evening, like… hell, even after all of _that_ her hair still managed to not get completely mussed and tossed all the way over. …If she remembered correctly now (she’d like to think so, of course), it did take the both of them some long long hours curling around each other before her darling finally yawned and gave her the last thousand little pecks on her way out. Stretched underneath Carol and closed her eyes oblivious.

She took the gown off (again) and stepped in to peer closer. Hardly any visible red lines down both shoulders or along her torso …no blooming spots on the neck area either, and she was pretty certain that her darling didn’t even stop to take the time with her chest… _Was that… shyness? Even now?_

At that, her skin throbbed softly down, down, down – which made her pull both palms to rub all over her sleepy eyes ( _Now_ might just not be the best moment to wake Therese up and ask to get jumped, _so get it together!_ ). Well, that was that: really, it was time for her beauty sleep anyhow, everything would just have to stay on-hold ‘til came the rays of a new morning.

Walking back in with a full glass of water to set down the nightstand only to see that her darling had turned onto one side during her absence, Carol did her best to slide right in behind to spoon without waking the snoozing figure up. Another ten soft soft puffs of breath – up and down, a bobbing shoulder and she started to wriggle to turn the way back to her in the dark, both eyes wide shut. Going bump in the night: Therese’s dainty little fingers reached right up to find her cheek, once, twice before she managed to poke correctly at bones. Flattened her palm to smooth over whatever it was that she could find with emerald green still stubbornly hidden away. Therese’s touch skipped after those generous caresses, skipped and skipped then tried to settle across her waist where it finally came to land on the fabrics Carol had wrapped her body in: her darling peeped eyes open at long last through the tips of fingers squeezing in question. Disoriented and devastatingly cute as all fluffy things Carol had ever come across in her life combined

“ …Clothes again…? When did you–” – A huge yawn peeked through, cracking the sentence in half lines.

Carol held in her budding chuckle, unable to keep herself still in obvious affection – she guided the hand up, up for it to meet her exposed shoulder peeking through the fallen spaghetti strap, hoping that Therese would be satisfied enough to stop with all this late night query

“Go back to sleep honey, I’m right here.”

Her dearest mumbled something completely inaudible in her throat at that, soft frowns appearing near eyebrows as she swiped fingers back and forth around the small expanse of bare skin, but eventually came to lie still again. Shortly afterward, hopeful and slow: Carol followed her right into their dreams.

 

 

Coda

 

Therese woke up with a full sun – twisted every which way on the empty bed and opened her eyes through a whole series of new imaginings. _Where was Carol...?_

And oh, there was the toasty smell of butter wafting in through the half-open door and calling for her to get up...

She stalked her way in a very _very_ decadent bathrobe hung ready on the closet’s door (Decent-sized, shiny mirror) and tripped across the wonderful blonde in the middle of mashing around some avocado in the kitchen. Clearing her throat a little bit now: Carol turned right to the sound – distractedly so at first but a soft smile broke through when she hovered closer and took her sweet time to gaze into deep blue…

Such a beautiful day that today was already shaping up to be.

Therese leaned to cling and tugged a softest of pressures at her hips:

“Chérie, morning–”

“Can I…”

(Both pressed on pause)

Carol widened her eyes at that, did a double take all over the intentions shining ‘round her face now. Glanced back at the bowl of soft avocado and some eggs sitting on the counter ( _Those slices of toast are looking really really good…_ ) before reaching to caress Therese’s wrist curling all around – “You really are on thin ice here, darling”

“Wait and let me go brush my teeth first?”

 

-

 

_Okay, so that’s it for Step One: Naked._

_Now just how to proceed with this…_

Therese hovered on her knees to stare down at the inviting sight of Carol, suddenly feeling hesitant… suddenly wanting to call false alarm on the whole thing and come down to snuggle with her blonde, all sweet kisses and good-mornings. She awkwardly turned eyes to look at the pair of pillows and tried to distract her thoughts

“Darling, what is it?” – Soft palms took to caress shoulder blades all over and back up around the neck, pulled and pulled for her body to settle onto smooth skin. Therese felt herself melt, melt away in spades, slow cream sizzling…

“Well, it’s just, I had this one dream before waking up, you know... But I’m not… sure about it”

“ ...Oh?”

“It’s kind of silly, really… Sooo… I was taking you, and um, you really really seemed to enjoy it” – she felt Carol swallow briefly, felt a soft kiss pressed into locks of hair – “But…, well, the thing is… I was having you, right, but without my hands, so like... it was with one of those things...”

Cringing a little at the lack of a vocal reaction from the blonde, Therese was all ready to roll off and lead them back out for breakfast when she felt both of her calves twined along smooth, smooth legs locking their lower bodies in down to the ankles: Carol’s upper half stretched the rest of the space to push up into her with a soft groan – “Tell me more…?”

She wiggled, pushed both palms into the space of the mattress right next to bare hipbones – “Are you sure? I really won’t care if you don’t want it”

A turn of shifts:

“ _Therese…_ ” (Soft squeeze on her nape)

Upon leaning up to get a better look at her woman’s face now, she found her heart skip a beat that it was… Well, blue was ground half shut, features lax yet focused… focused on something. Waiting, almost? – “I dreamt of opening you up at first… I’d enjoy that, enjoy keeping your legs still for me. I’d bite, bite and bite and press closer. Kissing you all the way through, of course. God. Why not. Pull, make you mine… and… make myself yours, too…? You liked it so much, Carol, that I was having you like that… ”

“Like what?”

“ ...Rough-ish?” – Their calves slid together, Carol a savannah wild thing curling in the shades of her attention – “Then… well, then I took deep with both hands on your body, free to touch”

Her woman held onto both shoulders to whisper by the shell of an ear, fresh peaches saccharine – “Darling… that can be for tonight, take me and have me and everything else…” – Picked two of Therese’s fingers up to form as one and brought them over to her hot mouth, she felt dizzy with the show the blonde was putting on for her (for her only), dizzy with what this sensation felt similar to.

Eye contact, shades of blue shifting as she set her stare on Carol’s face with wet fingers playing right where she wanted to kiss. Carol opened herself up (again) with both thighs on her hips – Therese felt herself grow hazy, grow heated all under her skin and pulled away to start taking again: remembered what it’d meant yesterday when this happened. Knowing what it meant now, now, _now._

When she shifted fingers down at long last knowing all too well that she wasn’t the only one who was boiling mad, her woman dripping – oh, somehow this wasn’t like last night, no, as if there was a certain _something_ new around them calling. Folds and skin open, yet she still took a moment to tug both inner thighs out, out, wild, before running hands to hipbones and set them deeper into the mattress (Really wasn’t too necessary a move there, but how she _wanted_ so.) – “You keep doing that thing with your hips, and, Carol, Carol,…”

Therese grew overwhelmed, grew the want to take and go rough. Wanted to hold onto something and she was starting to huff in frustration, fingertips pushing around wetness: a knuckle in, smear it all over and just _push_ to tease when her woman rasped out, gold and breathless – “Oh, inside baby, inside and kiss my neck _soon_ or I’ll lose it…”

Music to her ears the first moments she pressed in, held fingers unmoving and just _pressed_ on all walls on the inside, this was too much, too much – until she started to thrust, deep and urgent-stiff with weight: Carol reached both palms up knowing what she wanted… sure and certain as she was. One to scratch down Therese’s shoulder and the other to pinch sharply on her own nipple. Pull hard for her to watch as sounds fell without any restraint from her mouth (daring).

Therese suddenly understood the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Random ramblings)  
> This is the 13th chapter and 13 is somewhat a nice number for me, plus it (kind of) marks one month of me into the writing project - which has seen some ...ups and downs (me sitting in various airports trying to proofread my own words?) - so I guess I came prepared with a whole bag of mix-and-match trivia:  
> The place I picked as Carol's apartment (23 rue Auguste Vitu 75015) is in the 'Javel' neighborhood in the 15th district, which, while it isn't The Most Priciest of Paris, still sits somewhere around the end of the top Fancy Five with a bunch of nearby commodities: the woods of Boulogne for example, the Louis Vuitton Foundation museum, Parc des Princes and the Roland Garros venues, which go absolutely crazy during the summer; and I also picked the nearby English-speaking 'International School of Paris' as Rindy's preschool since public schools with 100% French environments and silly children lingo might be a bit too daunting for newcomers freshly arrived in France... Pretty expensive though, I did a quick check and it costs like ...26000€ a year as annual tuition fees... But anyhoo, the apartment's address is like a 5 minute walk away from the quay of Seine where you can gawk at the Eiffel Tower, so I thought that it'd be nice for Carol and Rindy's sake!  
> -  
> (Still ramblings, but about poems)  
> My first ever ...'conceptualization' of intimacy and longing (and love? Was that love?) came from what I read in The Reader by Bernhard Schlink when I was a lot younger, so it kinda stuck through the years with that little poem written by the protagonist - now, fast forward some time later, I came across this other poem, The Panther by Rilke, which I think describes perfectly Carol and um, unhappy marriages and the lack of freedom and hope in general, here's the first verse:  
> 'His gaze against the sweeping of the bars  
> has grown so weary, it can hold no more.  
> To him, there seem to be a thousand bars  
> and back behind those thousand bars no world.'  
> So I was re-flipping through The Reader and there was a little sentence with the protagonist saying that he was trying to imitate Rilke writing that little thing, hoping that his person-of-affection would understand his heart. So I was like. Hm... Sometimes things really do plan and write themselves out... Longing and loss all one and the same? (the same Rilke)  
> -  
> If you read all the way through all of this, I hope you've had fun! :D


	14. Saturn Peaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol moved slightly off to the side, took one of Therese’s palms for it to softly paw near the set of reddish welts she’d left earlier on the otherwise silk-smooth span of skin – made her skip a breath upon the vivid reminder of past shapes and noises… Of scratching and pressing through for the longest time, the both of them on twisting fire – “Be a darling now and trust me to tell you nothing but the truth?”
> 
> A fond sigh escaped to push most of her doubts away – “Of course, of course Carol… I believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :D

Of all the things Carol could possibly fancy after having come up for air when they were through (all curled in Therese’s touch of hug-soft feathers, leisure and pleased as could be), she felt so… so bewildered upon hearing that it was ‘bout time for her blonde’s nails to get another coating – which was _…Huh?_ – “A …coating for your nails?”

As a chuckle traveled through shared skin to the top of her shoulder where spun gold came to rest, Therese wiggled to restart the journey on her favorite canvas brand new: fingertips stroking, kissing all over. From the curve of her woman’s buttocks now to the top of her thighs and up to soft hips, pressed rewind, she thought of each and every other way she’d managed to fit in; right in as seamlessly as time itself in rolling space (well... In this warm apartment for example… but not just so – oh, not just so. Inside the body Carol gave over to her each of their turns, too; and when, _when_ all had been lived and done, newness had come familiar wonders she’d be brave and ask to stay be surrounded by their life as one…). Thought of past plays for two that they’d danced through for hours and dreamily tried to predict a next song.

_We should go out for a walk later, that’ll be fun…_

Her palms caught near the dip of hipbones and broke through all reveries afloat: _Oh, right. About that._

“Carol, what I said earlier about tonight… Don’t say yes just because I want to, you know? I don’t know, it might not be so ...good after all, and I might get a little lost…”

Blue eyes opened, blinked softly and turned to graze their own unique little caresses all across her face – “Lost…? So you've never…?”

Therese shook her head no, embarrassed in a way ( _Why?_ ) with own eyes glued to fingers curling near her woman’s lower back – there where waves ran the most prominent each time, was what she’d come to find out and held near to all other pixels of longing captured in a frame. Darted her gaze back up for eye contact with shimmering blue when hands joined to encourage her hold on beloved skin.

“Honey, will you look at me… Don’t you know how incredible you make me feel…? Don't you see it… hear it? Every moment every single time because it’s with you and just _you_. I said yes to this new thing much like kissing you for the first time, or, say, asking you to go for a date with me; anything, because I _want_ it. I want everything, and I won’t let you feel lost through wherever you want us to go because it’s going to be with me, do you get what I’m trying to say?”

Carol moved slightly off to the side, took one of Therese’s palms for it to softly paw near the set of reddish welts she’d left earlier on the otherwise silk-smooth span of skin – made her skip a breath upon the vivid reminder of past shapes and noises… Of scratching and pressing through for the longest time, the both of them on twisting fire – “Be a darling now and trust me to tell you nothing but the truth?”

A fond sigh escaped to push most of her doubts away – “Of course, of course Carol… I believe you.”

They snuggled for yet another five minutes (at best) before the nail polish thing surfaced again, this time with a smallest of touches more urgent and made her groan: completely reluctant to leave her woman’s blissful body heat. Shifting in amusement, Carol splayed fingers near her Bordeaux-beating red heart for show before replying with a soft huff – “But darling, it’s starting to lose its shine! Allez, viens, you got me all hungry too anyway, so come on out with me for something to eat?”

_Ughhh._

“…You’ll give me a kiss or two if I agree?”

Between the one and only Carol on her own skin and the bathrobe she’d stolen for herself no matter how fluffy, of course she just _had_ to grumble a tiniest bit right there and then. Once again for good measure, yeah-how’s- _that!_ when the blonde tried to hold her hand in the hallway leading out to their breakfast… Oh wondrous be the joys of eating sunny-side ups and avocado on toasty carbs while clothed…

 

-

 

Chairs side to side by the dining table, Therese went sappy and smiled in satisfaction at their closeness; at the sight of blue eyes stuck onto the tiniest brush ever, adorable and hers. Turned back now to the flat peaches she’d found hiding in their corner in the fridge: halving each, touching across sweetness glinting and letting mouth-watering insides all show for her gaze…

Pulling cores through soft, softer silk by the last moments (And done.) These chilled-cool pieces seemed to be melting, too, somehow; different but in a good way: sugar as fresh a treat as any other peck from her favorite woman that she’d gladly savor came every brand new day.

Took a moment to hum and bob her head along with each turn of the mouth – she absently glanced over to watch hands drawing liquid and… Oh?

“Emerald green for your nails now? No more of your signature sharp red? But I liked that shade so much on your skin!!”

(A quick wink was all the response that greeted her way. _Ugh!!_ )

One beat of comfortable silence as she piled it all up onto a plate – by the time Carol finally slid the bottle out of focus she was already trying to wipe juices as clean as could be from nooks and corners, stretching and angling her body for the both of them to meet halfway. An arm reached across and her blonde immediately took to lean like tides of the stars, the moon and all her waves sweetness-à-deux: boy _oh boy_ , there, at the way Therese’s heart was jumping jacks in all smugness to ever exist in this world now made glittery…

Victory blooming through roofs, she popped a cut of peach into Carol’s mouth and swooned with heart-eyes as her woman turned a pleased little sigh that warmed the crook of her neck right up… Chewing and staring, pads of fingers damp with chemicals still – how lovely was the color she’d chosen! ran across the tabletop like she would on ivory keys, on all piano roads when they’d cross ways back to each other for a new embrace always… Always. Such were her feelings…

“Chérie?”

“Hm?”

Carol curled deeper into her side – “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Therese hummed, glanced eyes toward the ceiling in absent-minded contemplation: thinking about all and any random thing in the world… grocery shopping, taking the trash out… who knew, maybe she'd pluck up the courage to kiss her woman again and again (and again? Why not? For no kiss was ever one kiss too many when it came to Carol's lips, there). Oh well, just like every other day really, she supposed since it was so… – “I might stop by the bookstore I guess. Why though? What’s up?”

“Well… I was thinking… Abby and my Rindy will get back to Paris sometime before noon tomorrow I think. So do you… Do you want to have dinner? Tomorrow, me, Abby and Rindy and you?”

Surprised, Therese turned to face her woman: blue eyes hopeful, sincere and warm. Yes! Yes, of course, _oui_ – “There’s really nothing else you can say that can sound better than that, my Carol, of course I’ll be there!”

Another piece of fruit inside, smaller this time, small and convenient and she waited for a whole total of one-two-three; fingertips sliding softly under one strap of her woman’s gown onto a bare shoulder – waited, grinned and ducked to steal it back with a reach of her tongue to the rhythm of a surprised squeaky yelp. Chewing as her upper arm got a light slap, Therese saw blue glare (still so, so unbelievably lovely…) and couldn’t help her heart but lean in to press a lingering kiss smooth as skin, smiling into their contact. The light shove she received in blushing-weak retaliation was… well, it was worth it, really. She’d do it all over again _avec plaisir_ as soon as she got the blonde sufficiently distracted now, wait-for-it.

All the toying around set aside as they’d finished eating in contentment, Carol stretched into their cuddling, reached palms up to cup both of Therese’s cheeks with fingers tingling right by her nose: tone teasing and fun, a little payback – “Uh-huh, yep, this is what you get for that thing with your tongue!” – Laughed delightfully at scrunched muscles in protest against all the tickling.

“Heeey!! Stop that! That’s cute but you’re being mean!!”

“Ohh?? So I’m the mean one… are you sure about that? You really are just the _worst_ now, mon coeur.”

 

-

 

Feeling a soft tug on her palm as they started to approach Le Marais, Therese watched Carol turn shining: golden moon full of mysteries – “You know what honey, I actually have this one thing to buy now before our stroll, so won’t you wait for me for a little bit while I run and I’ll see you soon? In an hour or two?”

She _pouted_ and watched as her blonde looked slightly frantic, if amused, in her haste to try to smooth it over.

“Uh… I really can’t come with you?” – Carol chuckled, eyes shifting away with a curious little flush – covered intentions and Therese couldn’t help but step forth closer, closer still in her quest to discover – her woman first, of course; then herself, too, whenever they were together and finally them-as-one… Discover just why it came to that she was starting to long for her company already, oh, even as they were still here standing by the pavement with tight fingers all curling…

“Indulge me this one time now chérie?”

_(Well, duh, kiss me and make up for it?)_

“Just don’t take too long… I’ll go have some coffee and you can text me when you’re all done with… whatever that is?”

Carol blinked. Blue eyes _squinted_ and gave her a once-over, tiny flash of something never before seen that suddenly had her knees wobbly and mushy as all heavens. She cleared her throat, put a show with hooded eyes and flame-heated smirking lips – making Therese want to fall sideways right now, right now onto cobblestones ( _She must know this_ ) and stalked the rest of their space over to do the second-to-last button of her blouse. Patted once, twice on the dip between her collarbones with a raised eyebrow.

_?????_

“ _My_ , look at you all pretty like this, you squishy puppy. Don’t let yet another café owner try to kiss you now alright sweet darling? I’ll be my quickest possible, pinky promise!”

Her woman leaned in, in for a parting kiss that felt like hot hell, sweet and overwhelming and _wow_ that left her completely speechless. _Oh my God!!_ (Her muddled head very vaguely managed to register a softest of chuckles floating by as she got too busy in the middle of feeling tongues)

_What was that?_

Welp, by the time she’d shaken out of her stupor, bon Dieu, all that was left on the street where she stood was just a breathy remnant of one last whisper – “Be good now, chérie” – and a swish of colors as golden hair disappeared slowly, temptingly down the intersection of her crooning heart.

Therese briefly considered diving against the brick wall of the nearest store, stat, if only to let out some of that good ol’ steam and frustration as she herself also took to turn stumbling her way away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Allez, viens' - Come on, let's go!  
> 'avec plaisir' means 'with pleasure' ;)  
> -  
> Le Marais is the current LGBT scene of Paris I think, very fancy neighborhood with big, accessible metro lines - I walked around there once with some friends a year or two ago and stumbled upon an enormous 'bear' club and... boy, wasn't that fascinating... I remember turning to tell my pals that if I was to run into one of those bears outside of Marais I think I would've just pegged them as...IDK, really passionate bikers living in the countryside?  
> -  
> Hope everyone's been doing as well as could be and had fun with this chapter!  
> Cheers! :D


	15. Courtship Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For what it was worth, mountains of gold: she knew that Therese’s mind was constantly, constantly working; in dreams where they could and would meet for sweet kisses, even in bed after touches of silk all spent. Thinking on forward.
> 
> _How does she do that? What else is there? Everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you saw in me  
> and I'll try to replicate it with a scene.  
> If it troubles you to breathe  
> Wait a moment, I could change the scenery.  
> (Enchanting Ghost by Sufjan Stevens)

Carol caught her darling’s little wave as she walked through the threshold, sat down and pressed a peck hello onto just about the cutest most refreshing face she’d managed to find ever since the past hour (or so). Pressed closer, still – so she could savor the wonderful taste of coffee and _Therese_ twirling smoke and mirrors whenever they made their way back through cores of the worlds toward each other. _Sweet and warm, stardust sugar…_ – “I’m all yours now honey. What have you been up to?”

Flushing pink in her attention, Therese blinked all eyelashes for show and turned reaching for fingers: savannah serpents winter-hungry dancing on the tabletop – “Oh, there’s nothing much to do actually… Been people watching and chilling you know, the usual… Look, lots of people are hanging out today, just like us!”

_Hmmm…_

Eyes following the hand vaguely motioning toward crossing pavements, Carol settled deeper into their comfortable atmosphere – stilling, stilling as everything else sunk down to nothing but an enrobing little hush with her darling humming around half-filled coffee. _Just like ‘us’?_

_(Us…)_

She found herself in a trance of sorts, quietly looking at passersby living inside merry little universes unto their own (they had that): some tight with sentiments hand-in-hand (they owned that), some laughing and thinking the world of each other. Kissing with arrows steeping straight across the heart. Oh… they’d done that, that, and that too, of course; her and Therese. All of the above tracing all the way back toward Aphrodite.

“Bonjour Madame, voulez-vous prendre quelque chose?”

She glanced up to their waiter with a small start, genuinely having forgotten that outside of their bubble there existed a thousand kinds of crowds of people other than Carol-and-Therese now; which, all things considered, could call for such abrupt reminders of real life – “Oui bonjour, qu’un espresso pour moi s’il vous plaît.”

“Ça marche, ça arrive tout de suite!”

Eyes back to study her darling studying strangers: emerald green swimming in her deepest of thoughts. Carol loved loved _loved_ hearing all about them, loved whatever it was that Therese had to say about any given topic whatsoever, mundane or otherwise – ‘Oh it’s such a lovely patch of flowers there! Do you ever wonder just how much money Hidalgo pays to have them grown every summer…? Really makes you stop to think, huh… Carol, that looks amazing! That’s the color of your hair!! Ya know what, if I was to be mayor I’d spend even _more_ on flowers on pavements everywhere, like, you can’t even begin to _imagine_ , but that’s probably the reason why I’m a photographer and not a politician… so there’s that, eh. What, what’s up, why are you chuckling?’ …such was one of the most wonderful moments of her darling sharing herself, peering out to bathe in a perpetual sunrise of her heart.

Other instances were… say, truth be told Carol didn’t even know where to start with now… maybe, oh, maybe that night when she held to inspect Rindy’s tiny schoolbag with a thousand words unsung in soft eyes; there, there it was, the one and only. Or when she watched Carol get dressed, make-up halfway on, with a gaze already endeared and taken first thing in the morning? For what it was worth, mountains of gold: she knew that Therese’s mind was constantly, constantly working; in dreams where they could and would meet for sweet kisses, even in bed after touches of silk all spent. Thinking on forward.

_How does she do that? What else is there? Everything._

She’d love for her darling to tell her things, deeper and true; this time brighter than the last never stopping, more brilliant, more home.

_Will you love me in your light?_

_Oh…_

The realization came to her in one spark of the last moment: Saint Sylvester, the new King’s Epiphany – sweetness and a crown hiding in cream. Love. _Love! It’s love all along._

Her coffee having arrived at long last, Carol took and took filling ribcage with warmth… slid her palm across their space to catch emerald green on-hold: Therese turned to her at once, doe-eyed and pure as star shine upon seeing the small piece of chocolate she’d handed over along with a heart-shaped note spoken aloud for everyone to know – “Therese, dearest. I love you.”

Under other circumstances, well, wide eyes turned bulging could almost ( _almost_ ) be comical if not for the sense of utter completion wafting all over the place in-between; one that had Carol hold their contact – steadfastly so, waiting for a comet carrying gems to pass through the stratosphere.

“Carol… oh… say it again for me?”

“I love you” (It was simple, it was nothing but the truth)

“Again??” – Ten fingers came to squeeze on her wrist, ardent and pleased.

Warmth erupting from a corner of the throat, she chuckled – leaned close and repeated each word as clear as daylight, three-syllables-and-I’m-here. “Therese Belivet, sweet darling of mine, I love you.”

Her angel visibly melted, let out a crooning noise down the back of her throat with eyelids fluttering adorably – was that a purr there? _My!_ – and sat to stare dreamily into nothingness. Carol tried, _tried_ (but failed, but at least there was an attempt) to hide a blooming grin behind the ring of her cup: caffeine really wouldn’t help her case at all right now right now, sure, she was aware; but Therese was indeed looking so _fine_ she was practically a hair’s width away from starting to push for gasps. That’d be for later, of course, but it could never hurt for a girl to try to foresee whenever it came to these …activities. _The most glorious of all kinds…_

Another beat of humming and Therese woke up, snapped out of it and swung her gaze back for them to meet again, enchanting alarm in tones – “Oh my God! I didn’t even say it back!”

“No rush now darling, really” – She set the cup down with a never-ending smile and kept up with her search deep into emerald green, there where she started to see vibrations back and forth reaching to nestle in her arms. Therese breathed, _inhaled_ and kept her stance upright – “I want to”

Fingers gripping one another: “So will you say it back for me to hear?”

An exhale…

“Carol, I love you”

Promptly so, Therese turned into a softest of all puddles as did she herself the moment every last sound got registered and lodged through-and-through within their beings; another minute passed like curling winds before her darling could start to be able to breathe properly again – “Oh, Carol, I really never could have guessed…”

Light as feathers running their hearts, Carol tickled as much skin as she could possibly swipe at – “Guessed? Now chérie… what exactly did you think we’ve been doing ever since the very first day?”

Pinching her palm softly, her darling grumbled with a hot hot flush – “…I _meant_ that I never could have guessed that saying those words out loud would make me myself feel this good, you silly”

Smiles turned lazy and calm, Carol settled her chin onto the one palm that wasn’t being caressed, stared and _really_ stared at themselves turning ‘round and ‘round on axes on their way to come forth and be each other’s.

“I know honey, I know.”

 

-

 

“Hey Carol?”

“Oui chérie?”

“I love you”

“I love you too honey”

…

Like, say, barely five minutes later:

“I love you”

“Alright, I love you too. That’s always such a nice thing to hear these days”

A beat of silence as they approached closer toward the destination of Carol’s sweet, sweet fluffy bedroom and suddenly her phone started to buzz with a new text one second too late – probably because they were moving underground where networks always turned sketchy. Probably because every single thing about her was starting to get too overwhelmed to function now, but at this point though… Who knew, really?

Therese: Love you! :)

Carol turned to soundly kiss her darling once on the lips and deemed it as appropriate a response as any. _There. There’s that for you._

 

-

 

Heavy with feelings, Therese clung onto Carol’s waist and had her body pressed against the wall now – now, right next to the shoe rack the moment they managed to get the door all locked and closed somewhere behind in their past. No one else but Carol-and-Therese there, there where it was warm. There where it was cozy and nice…

“Therese, dear?”

“Carol… Carol, let me have you, slow or hard. Fast or gentle. Whatever you say… I’ll love you through it, love you, I promise” – Mumbling high out of her minds and pinning through curves and skin, the shape of her woman was slowly but surely driving her toward fire: So soft, so smooth, hidden by clothes that she just _wanted_ to– to claw to shreds, what else then? To pinch on skin raw times infinite and claim both nipples inviting for her sight alone.

“Come on honey, let’s move this to the bedroom so I can show you something? So we can start?”

_That_ did sober her right up, if anything… though, well, it truly was so so hard for her head to compute now, what with the way the blonde was still wrapping her around shoulders tight into each other and everything… Wrapping and pulling for them to disappear through air just for the sake of it. Therese groaned softly, frustrated and displeased that they weren’t yet bare to the touch, grumbled and pushed through all the layers she could reach in the dim hallway.

For every single scene that had been said and dreamed, an accumulation of kisses; she could never have been ready for the sight of an unassuming little box tucked on the top corner of her woman’s closet, tucked away way past natural attention – _Oh, gosh, what are you doing to me?_

Clearing her throat, Carol reached an arm over to squeeze the small of her back with shyness – “Here you go… Abby bought me this set as a… It was sort of a joke, I think, after having moved our life here to the city…”

Therese felt her eyes glaze over with overwhelming sensations hurling toward a new sun one after another, Icarus with fresh wings to hold (the small purchase in her palms) – “And earlier I bought new lube… for my body, so that I can assure you that you won’t hurt me ever, especially not with a bit of roughness here and there. It’s also to let you know just how much I want you to have me, dearest, so don’t think too much now will you?”

_Well… When she puts it like that…_

Sluggish and drugged from within the ribcage, Therese took, took and took: their clothes (bar the last one flimsiest of layers keeping hot silk away from her touch – that’d be for later, much later), her woman’s heart and pure need all-consuming all laid onto the nightstand along with some soft towels and the things they’d need for tonight. Nothing more, nothing less; she pulled for bodies to settle and started to have skin: her lips naked on a sensitive neck and one thigh bearing down onto fabrics – “Chérie, take my underwear off, off, _now_ ”

Grinning against the crook of her woman’s neck in the shape of a not-yet, she pulled down to press thighs apart one after the other onto the mattress for they’d started to curl squeezing ‘round her own, up-and-down, and oh no-no, that was just so _unacceptable_ … Started to move up now to soundly kiss and peck, willing Carol’s frustration away the very second she managed to wring hips all splayed under a spell – “My tongue’s getting too sore from kissing you, I _wonder_ if it can ever be cured…”

Carol huffed with eyes a-rolling (“Poor you”), slapped her shoulder blade lightly and opened her mouth for the muscle to take inside – there where it started to play relentlessly with warmth and softness, a place of passion for two. _Oh…_

Reaching toward the nightstand, Therese took her thigh away only for the shaft to come into contact with the dip of entrance: still through fabrics of course, of course. Took to tease and sent a smile through shared skin at Carol’s reactions until she got pushed away by firm grumpy hands on their own mission.

“Honey, sweet pie, I love you but you really are the _worst_!”

“Ah, music to my ears…”

Playfulness turned reverent, Therese slowly, slowly peeled the last layer off for a new marvel; silk full and ready, but she oh so wanted to _see_ , so was it too bad now after all for her to take to her eyes’ content before consuming? Grabbing the shaft once more, she lay halfway across the beloved body nearest to her heart: up and down, back and forth through skin with a leg propped up and her other hand caressing cheeks all over, sharp brow bones shining and blue shades half-lidded in their connection. Truth be told… well, she had half a mind to keep them suspended like this, in want, forever for-ever if not for the burning need to possess and to take each of those things they both wanted and kept them near to her own self. Stroking through with the head down to the opening… up up _up_ for it to catch against her clit. Pressing harder on her way down trying to pull folds apart – Carol whimpered with her free thigh trying to spread herself as wantonly as possible – instincts naked and true and here, somewhere in the back of Therese’s head she briefly dreamed of making her woman put on underwear again. Thin and desirous as it was. Covering skin right up just so she could keep twisting and playing for hours and still saving that sweet inside for the last final act. (But that would be for another day, another turn for Therese was truly going insane running through bodies.)

She groaned, handed the shaft over and pulled away – “Play with yourself for me while I try to put the harness on?”

Suspended and hung on each other.

Blue eyes turned a-hundred-percent wild lioness as they made contact and Therese came to realize, there, with a rush of her heart that she was but the prey ever since their beginning: Her woman set over onto both knees with chest pushed firmly into the mattress, muscles undulating as ancient pavanes. Eros-possessed, she left the shaft on rumpled sheets between her legs, took to curl to call her over for them to truly start with sounds, noises and muffled whisper-screams of ‘Therese’ a spectacle to tempt fate. Lay down for the toy to settle right onto ready folds where her lower back twirled in waves.

Crawling to press Carol onto her back once again, she sighed and wrung her entire body dazed as sand upon hearing chuckles from the ever oh so delightful owner of her heart – “Honey, don’t think for a moment that you’re the only one to have planned for this, how cute you are. Did it work? Did I get you good?”

“Oh… can I have you now?”

“Close your eyes darling” – Was all that Therese heard before the shaft got clicked onto the harness, before she felt it get tugged back and forth with lube the very same split of second her woman pulled two fingers into that hot mouth unprompted

“Oh my God!!” – She pulled back with a red-heat flush, rapid struck thunder only to groan at the unbelievable sight of those lips wrapped all ‘round knuckles – “Carol…”

“Alright, I’d say you’re ready now… I love you, angel, then and today”

(Therese breathed softly and brushed her affection against flustered cheeks over and over…)

When she slid in, it was… oh – indescribable was what it was, the way Carol clung to her from calves to shoulders with pants and encouragements spilling from kissed lips… Bearing her hips down to center themselves still, she took a moment just to look and watch: palms reaching up to tuck gold back behind ears for a clearer view of creased brows and eyes clamped shut.

Skin opening to all senses for it to feel her back arching off the mirage up, up into her embrace.

It was wonderful, it was beautiful, it was all Carol Ross for her right here, right now.

“Carol, I love you”

Blue peeking from underneath pleasure with a smile, happiness and contentment; Therese felt a hand weighing down for her head to rest in the crook of her woman’s neck – “Will you move for me?”

Having her like this was _different_ , of course, so very different from last night, this morning or even from her quivering dreams and scenes. What exactly had she seen in those? Not this, most definitely not this. A couple of swans, her two free palms took to stroke as much neck and cheeks as she could ever kiss, took to pin on collarbones, lovely shoulders; and alas… on their journey down one pulled onto a nipple all straining to draw out such voices doused with feelings. (Spring swans, summer orchids, morning dew and amuse-bouches for noon.)

So good, so good, head-to-toe with ankles pushing against the back of her thighs now, they could dance and join all night long like this. One thrust into warmth, make-it-snappy, stayed out for a mere second to tempt reaching hips waiting to be claimed, over and over as their sun grew bigger in the bedroom. Another thrust and it was hot, it was slower than the beat of their hearts – just the right thing that had Carol start to gasp saccharine squeezing on shoulders to urge movements – “Make me yours baby, oh baby, don’t push too hard this time so we can go again?” _For hours, past the clock._

Yes, yes, yes.

Therese swallowed every noise the moment she slid a soft thigh up to her waist with fingers caressing the sweet nub, _there_ , felt waves crashing and switched for her woman to come down on top… Gently, gently so as not to jolt taken silk with hips heated and pleasured – tides of water snug in her embrace now, she pressed peppering little kisses all over the loveliest shade of all skins. (Loveliest because it was hers)

“Pull me in yourself and make me yours too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Bonjour Madame, voulez-vous prendre quelque chose?" - Morning ma'am, do you want to get anything?  
> "Qu'un espresso pour moi s'il vous plaît" - Just an espresso for me please  
> “Ça marche, ça arrive tout de suite!” - OK, it'll come right up!  
> -  
> Anne Hidalgo is the current Madam Mayor of Paris :D  
> As for the whole thing about 'Saint Sylvester, the new King's Epiphany, a crown hiding in cream' ...Saint Sylvester is for the last day of the year, right, and in Paris (France?) usually there's this tradition for everyone to eat 'galette des rois' (Kings' pie) during January, a round big pastry dessert to be shared with mille-feuille croissant-like dough and light custard cream in the middle. It's very popular for families with little children and parties between friends, really. The thing about it is hidden within each pie (big enough for a party of 6 or 8) in the cream there's one tiny ceramic figurine, a 'crown' of sorts, and if you're the one who caught it in your serving of the pie you'll get to be King for the rest of the day and everyone else will have to do as you wish :D pretty fun!  
> -  
> (Edited on 01/10/2019): Objectively speaking - I consider that the end of this story is at chapter 19, but, I can also say that it can also end here and not much plot happens afterward! From here onward it's gonna be more experimental, sort of, more 'temperamental' to my heart so maybe the flow won't read the same :) It is still my creation, of course, but, there's a line here, a cut, and I hope that it'll still be enjoyable as well if you decide to continue to read on forward :)  
> Cheers!


	16. Wake Up, A Voice's Calling For Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let them never leave this capsule between the Earths, she who had seen this blue long before such sweet collisions: yes! Heart of Lyon, a meeting of the Rhône and his Saône twisting rivers as one and now here they too were together…
> 
> Would Carol wish to hear about what she had to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

“Carol, my Carol…”

In their pavane of intents and movements, Therese reached one palm out toward softened hips to feel for herself every last wind of pleasure passing by touches – reaching through and through to wipe away all soreness from past avalanches as time and hours turned ticking on forward within gray-blue. Enamored: …a springtime’s foal brand new in this light, someone freshly stumbling into the orbit whole as could be but somehow… somehow just a slightest bit so out-of-touch; their play of squares of puzzle missing one more piece or two. Was there now to be more? And bon Dieu, _what is this want with her body in front of mine…_

(“Show me, show me _show me_ how to…”)

( _Make little homes out of all the places we share._ )

Lucky strike stretching on top in the wake of attentions, Carol made a little move squirming against the crook of her neck with slow sighs and tiny lovely gasps melting gold right into skin… Twitching, twitching and going down one whole flurry from launch to end with a breathless smile sketched onto the most kissable of lips Therese had ever found herself _alive_ next to. Falling – oh, soaring and free through time every single turn she glanced her way into blue: impossible now were they ever having to try to pry apart for she’d already been crooning on the world’s greediest of all savant Kings’ thrones. All treasures, wild, wild, wild.

Wanting more always and wanting a woman to forever live it with right next to her side ‘til the end of their ways – “Oh, ma chanson à moi… I still want it so much. Will you let me?”

Let them never leave this capsule between the Earths, she who had seen this blue long before such sweet collisions: yes! Heart of Lyon, a meeting of the Rhône and his Saône twisting rivers as one and now here they too were together, would Carol wish to hear about what she had to say? Deep down, deep down there was a curious feeling surging… Blinking its life awake as Therese asked to pull inside velvet again. Opened with legs stilled and breaths all locked up under twin jaws sharpening reddish: How would it really feel like?

Oh, now, turn that thought on-hold for a second there…

Therese held clinging onto a palm with fingertips painted the color of her own greedy eyes – ten tokens from a quiet heart of hearts and forward they went… Closed windows, tiny neighborhood all wrapped up under their ticking streetlights’ span.

(We looked for answers when we were young and new.) Was Carol truly happy with her – home in these embraces? How did one ask to know? ‘ _Am I making you happy’…_ How horribly …pedantic a thing, there, how so unlike Carol-and-Therese-as-one. What had she ever done (oh pray tell) for this magnificent creature to choose to stay in her arms? Could she ever be kind enough to begin with, gentle, good and one like she had not known: what else could be said tonight in-between sparring touches and flutters of stares? She’d hold her blonde so close.

Waiting for piano keys to come forth bringing out harmonies underneath grasping knuckles… Seasons changed for Vivaldi, that they did as layers after layers of the blonde fell right into her arms with currents starting to blow goosebumps, the way everything so was and they lay joining. Blankets… kisses and sugary fingertips around beloved skin looking forward to it cooling down, down with ribcages all aglow; it was safe now in their world for it was comfort: after all, oh, maybe…

 _Maybe_ if Therese was to try she’d find out just how to breathe with two hearts in one… Breathe this sweetness deeply in and maybe try to steal for a kiss or two. Let them!

“Darling?” – Decadent be their dance rolling as lovely blonde curls lay blown out onto shared pillows – “What are you thinking…? Talk to me baby… Now. Are you still with me?”

“I’m thinking… I’m thinking… Carol, don’t come now, let me have this…”

A finger or two ghosting down below buttocks to feel petals bloom from their union, cherry blossoms pressed flutterin’ inside the loveliest of every other heart-shaped courting note she’d gladly write home

“I’m thinking… Oh, hold me… I won’t tell you goodbye when I leave in the morning, would that bother you so? Not a goodbye, no, not even a see-you-soon… I’ll just kiss you so terribly sweetly on the lips you’ll see starlight and we’ll smile at each other by the hallway as a last touch. My Carol, God… And in the evening at long last when I get back here you’ll have the front door unlocked and ready, ready for me so I won’t have to knock and you won’t hear. I’ll let myself in… as you clean, do whatever it is that you do… As you move around within your own space, as you look up to see yourself already halfway into my arms and… Carol, I think of you as my woman, I do. Do you believe me? I have been ever since I first had you underneath: _Then_ I’ll take you straight to bed, right here like right now and tell you as you’re baring from all clothes that it is as though I’ve never even left these rooms not at all, not for this whole day.”

Coming up for air at once, Therese gulped and gulped on for courage for it was so easy to be brave in the dark – “And you will feel it with me, you’ll agree because all day long you’ve been thinking of me by your side as I too have you. Do you see what I so want? Let us not say goodbyes and let us not go as two?”

Carol groaned deep vibrations that rang and sang aloud – pressed even closer in now with thighs and hips seemingly tensing all up to help grinding movements as skin never left their hold… And oh, no no, that would not do, just would not do – “Slow down, slow down for me… Tell me what you’re feeling?”

Groaning even louder yet short and cracked, her woman sighed into her shoulder so warm with blue halfway open, cloudy… Expressive with its weight for everything that was left unsung and all the other million-and-odd tiny details that Therese so wanted and _loved_ – “I can hardly speak as it is right now my darling, God, it’s… You’re making me…” – Turning her face back into the crook of Therese’s neck to breathe on deep and wordless.

“I’m thinking… Did you know that I had this dream once before I kissed you for the very first time, I’ve never told you... We were on a boat… Understanding it is– it’s just beyond me, now or then, but what does it matter? We were on a boat going somewhere, anywhere for all that I care; just you… oh, you, me and no one else and the water was rising steeply… It was warm and it was blue, a boat with seats all looking out onto the sky: I turned to my left and there you were, there where you have always been, now. Water was rising… rising _from_ you, and you told me… Oh, you told me not to worry, you told me that we’d arrive one way or another and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever gotten to hold in my palms other than your heart. Your heart like right now. Was that too ominous a thing there what I just told you: are all dreams all one and the same, have you yourself ever seen anything as strange as that? It wasn’t, not at all, does it matter? I feel like I’ve fallen through for so long, loved you, _loved, you,_ and now I don’t even know what I’m saying, ugh, gosh…”

Rushed lost in her own spiel outpouring, she didn’t notice that Carol had long since halted all movements of her hips: there they were, there, still as nighttime with tiny pants to shape up the whole room they lay holding. Breathing once, twice and kissing oh so slowly, the blonde softly pulled away from the shaft to undo everything out of the way of bodies… Kissed her again with a promise now as she turned them to the side and guided joined palms down to wet heat – gasped and _gasped_ with eye contact steadfast for Therese to peer clearly into blue warm and home for conviction to take roots and shine.

“Look at me darling… I love you. Feel how ready I am for your touch, can you feel it? It’s that I want to be with you and I know that you love me too, you alone get my body to be this way and I’m ready for everything.” – Fingers passed through spaces to hold her, too, and for all that it was so worth: Therese hadn’t realized that she also was burning hotly, _oh_ , burning for her woman’s touch – “My sweet love… ”

Honeyed skin with plays of thoroughly kissed throes, angles and arches bent as Carol called and called out for her name, how sweetly – well into the night even though they were lying oh so near having each other… She who still wanted to hear all songs.

 

-

 

As the sun shone forth behind all glassy window panes of Shakespeare and Co., Therese was in the middle of… ugh… once again… files upon files of inventory spreadsheets in one endless loop taunting when she saw a figure stepping through the threshold. Halfway planned to just ignore that newcomer right into the mismatched background of colors and noises of her bookstore since she already knew that Carol would be way too busy today with the café to come over to hang out with her like this.

“Ah there you are Therese, just the one I want to see!”

 _Oh!_ (If-one-must-know, she also was looking for _any_ tiny plausible reason whatsoever to be able to tear attention away from these numbers and codes that she _swore_ was all the same all of them on the computer screen…)

_I’m really reallyyy not born to be a manager, like, not at all… How does Carol do this so smoothly every single day?_

“Oh hi Abby, so glad to see you back in town!! Are you here for a new book for Rindy? How were Auvergne and everything down South??” – At that, Abby softly rolled both eyes with humor, took a zapping quick moment to take the soft soft scarf off now that her surrounding was much warmer than windy pavements coursing right outside the front door.

“Rindy’s always a dear really, how lovely the girl is; I swear there’s literally nothing cuter than her puppy little face trying hard to make sense of medieval paintings… I can go on for _days_ about the kid, days and days quite frankly.” – (One tiniest of pauses as she took a sweeping glance around the bookstore) – “Uh, anyway, where’s Gen again? She’s not in today?”

_Oohhh._

“Ughhh, and stop right there with that grin on your face! Not a word from you! Zip it to yaself now young lady…” – Nose upturning, Abby scrunched it haughtily with cheeks softly red blurring through all curly locks of hair.

Amused, Therese chuckled and pretended to browse through the computer for another minute or two just to tease the other woman with her own rebellious ways – “I totally wasn’t even going to say anything, Abby… She may be down in the back I think, near the children’s corner to the left… I’m afraid that I haven’t really paid much attention. What are you finding her for?”

“Ha, a girl gotta have some secrets to her name now my dear Therese… Alright, catch you later, have fun with your things!” – One playful little wink shot out to remind her of her blonde, just, well… yeah, hmmm… maybe just a smidge less beautiful and alluring, there, less warranted for a kiss or two… Or …more was Therese to dare daydream right now, right this second but alas: She really wasn’t in the business of being tacky to people _only_ for the sole reason that their name wasn’t Carol and it just so happened that they weren’t her Carol in any considerable percentage of being (how unfortunate for them!)

Sighed wistfully and kept all stray thoughts rushing with a leash to herself.

Saw Abby turning away with a foot already pointing toward her own destination before halting within her own one-track way, made a humming little sound and swished back to where Therese still sat – “Shoot, almost forgot to ask… Do ya wanna go grab lunch with me in a bit… Maybe a drink or two? There’s this new place just a little ways away that I’ve been hearing of, think it’ll be nice to go try out today. What do ya say?”

“A drink or two… What– Abby, it’s like 1PM now! And okay, of course, I’ll be here when you’re done _chatting_ with Gen, don’t worry! Take your time and _please_ don’t count me in because I don’t want to hear!”

One eyebrow raised for a challenge to run back-and-forth – “…You know, I thought that Carol was being horribly sappy when she told me that you could get to be quite _insufferable_ with your own ways of teasing and everything but yeah, yep. Uh-huh… I can see it now… Sorta… Might even hit you right now if only you weren’t so adorable, but ugh… Maybe some other day if you keep that up, then. How ‘bout _that._ Alright, I gotta run now, toodles!”

Oh… ugh. Now… back to the joys of various forms of management… (Eyes out the window toward La Bûcherie’s display menu written in cursive for one last attempt to stare that lasted ten whole seconds and a half …Yikes at her hopeless heart! Before deep-diving all over again straight into names, dates and order shipments… all the likes of it, really. Oh, the dread…)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the title from "Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme (Zion hört die Wächter singen)"! I'll put a link to Spotify here for my favorite version of it:  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/4Z3VIu0oYzM45D1e0BlnTE?si=jkXiaj5fRJOiQyXbyKziTQ  
> or here on Youtube starting from the mark 14:39, right before "When are you coming, my salvation?" and right after "So come in with me", which I think is a very very beautiful arrangement and titling job, really appropriate for what I was trying to give this chapter  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sj-NKqR0tw&t=1151s  
> The Spotify version is still the best out of these two to my ears!  
> -  
> The Rhône and the Saône are names of the two rivers that join in Lyon, arguably so much cleaner and bluer than the Seine in Paris the last time I was down there... For some reason unknown to me the Rhône is masculine in French and the Saône feminine... totally confusing, but it do be like that sometimes :D  
> -  
> Anyway, I'm glad to put this chapter up! Was really antsy about breaking my beautiful, beautiful word-count of 37837 but here we are! (3+7=10, and 8 is the luckiest number in Chinese culture... I think - I'm not Chinese but geographically close enough to be aware of the country's traditions though they sometimes leave me with just a vaguest hint of confusion)  
> I hope that you've enjoyed and had some fun time! Cheers! :D


	17. Sputnik Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth, you are my wishing star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)!

X: Carol-and-Rindy

 

Sunset like a burning wagon train

Sunrise like a dish of cantaloupe

Clouds like two armies clashing in the sky;

Icebergs and tropical storms,

That’s the kind of thing that happens on our ocean voyage–

[…]

I forgot about the ocean,

Which all the time was going by, right there, outside my cabin window.

And the sides of the ship were green as money,

        and the water made a sound like memory when we sailed.

Then it was summer. Under the constellation of the swan

under the constellation of the horse.

(Voyage by Tony Hoagland)

 

-

 

With both shoulders out-stretched to pop her joints, Abby hummed a funky little tune walking next to her as they made their way back after their lovely, lovely meal together – tracing now to Rue de la Bûcherie where everything still lay awaitin’.

“So, Therese…” – Glancing over, she restarted from their brief pause and Therese pulled her attention away from all the stores’ fronts shining across pavements to refocus on her companion – “What’s coming up next for you there?”

“Huh? What’s what?”

“Oh you know, what do you want to do after your Master degree? Or like… are you going to do something to renovate the bookstore…? Anything really, I don’t mind listening… Tell me whatever so I’ll get my mind away from having to think of _hours_ of exercising to burn these spare calories off?”

She blinked.

Blinked and stared as the other woman made a show of smoothing down her completely flat stomach with a playful grin floating all over the place. _What spare calories?_ – “Oh, uh. Let’s see… ” – Toyed with a seam sticking out of the cardigan as this one store to their left caught her attention and she made a tiny motion with her chin, _here_ , for the both of them to cross at green light. (Abby didn’t hold fingers down the small of her back to keep their bodies together like the lovely way Carol always, always did whenever they rounded a corner.)

“Well, in the beginning I actually wanted to take on projects and just go ‘round to wherever they lead me to. There’s all these countries and continents around the world you know?” – Therese trekked her way across the store with Abby still in tow a few footsteps behind. _Where do they usually keep those boxes of wax pastels again?_

“But… recently I’ve been thinking of looking for something more… say, local… Maybe somewhere that wouldn’t ask me to run all my way to the other side of the Bosphorus river for a whole year if you know what I mean?”

Bright brown eyes shifted – searching and rummaging for _something_ from some corner all the way down all vibrations of sounds freshly escaping her throat – “Oh? Wouldn’t you enjoy it better if you were to go out there into the world? See what else is there waiting for you outside of Paris?”

“I mean… yes, I guess eventually I’m going to come across some gigs that need me to travel around, but for the most part I’ll make it a point to stay rooted in the city… Get steady and all that – it’ll be great, don’t you think so?”

“What brought the change? I mean… if you don’t mind me asking?”

Looking at Abby looking at her, Therese softly scratched the top of her nose to buy some time and thought of where their conversation was leading to… Stalled for another second – one more please, there, or maybe make it ten just so she’d be on the safe side and noticed that the other woman was trying really, really hard to keep all this questioning neutral through tones and means of body language.

_Should I do the same if she’s to be with Gen? Maybe… in the future or so. Wait for a month or two… Is this what people usually do, is this some kind of a test?_

“Well, I’m not …by myself anymore, but I think you already know that. I haven’t actually asked but…” – Picked up this one box that seemed to promise lovely shades of yellow, red and blue and saw eyebrows quirk up a tiniest bit upon seeing what she was now holding in both hands.

“Crayolas? I wouldn’t have pegged you to be into painting and coloring?”

She shrugged wordlessly just-because: _Because_ , well… what else was there to be explained…? Of course she oh so much wanted for Rindy to like her – maybe _too much_ that it was sort of stressing her all out; and she simply just couldn’t think of any other thing that the lovely little girl didn’t already have… _What did I even want when I was four… For Christmas or whatever. Some doll that cries and wets herself? Maybe a train set…?_

_My God, have I ever been four?_

Hélas, so some crayons it was; that way at least if she’d already had another box in use they always could just go ahead and stock this one up on the shelf to wait for its turn.

“It’s for Rindy actually… Do you think she’ll like it?”

At that, Abby let out a chuckle with light brown suddenly so clear in their shine – no more question marks hanging to write themselves down between their space together, there – somehow looked less intimidating than Abigail-Gerhard had been just a mere ten seconds ago just now. But had it really meant to be intimidation?

_Oh, boy. Who knows what anymore…_

“The girl’s been smitten as all hells for you even before you gave her that awful, awful book you know? Four-year-old or not, she’s still a Ross when it comes to you and there’s no doubt ‘bout that – like at all, ya just gotta trust me now.”

Therese joined into her inviting laughter: her stubborn nerves were still shooting all the way through the roof, sure – but like this it was reassuring to know that at least the gift for tonight wouldn’t end up being unwelcomed by Carol Jr. They were smiling from ears to ears at the mention of the little girl, moving toward the check-out counter when Abby picked up a coloring book full of chubby cats and dogs to serve as her own means to close up their ‘chat’ for today.

“I didn’t mean to be intense with this, you know? It’s just… well, Carol’s a dear for me and I just wanted to be certain… I’m sure you’ll understand where I’m coming from.”

“Of course Abby, don’t worry now, I totally get it.”

“Have you ever thought that you could come to …regret it, one way or another? Please trust me when I say that I mean well, but it still sounds to me like such a big decision to change what you want to do with your life. Just like that.” – One small snap of fingers – “Don’t be cross with me now will you?”

They both stopped for some fresh air outside the store’s threshold – breathed in one-two-three little notes and when Therese had finally finished composing her own tune, it was as though it was made of all of her years’ conviction rolling in into something new. New, _new_ and then some more, bigger than the mere sum of all of its components together

“Changing a wish this way or that, it’s still what I genuinely want for my own self to have… When you do know, say, when the moment comes to you it’s like you have always _known_ and from then on out you just gotta tweak each detail just a tiniest bit – just-like-that, so you’ll be sure that you’ll get every single thing you’ve ever wanted by the end of it all.”

(Softly, oh so softly like she had never seen before from anyone else’s face other than her own dearest’s:) Abby nodded with a slow smile spreading on – “Alright, alright… I hear what you’re saying. It must feel great to _know_ , yeah?”

“So what’s coming up for you?”

“Who? Me?”

“What was that earlier with Gen?”

“Oh!” – Face turned wolfish in a blink of one single second and Abby motioned for them to start walking the rest of the way back to their street – “Guess who just scored a date with that hot, hot red little thing now babes?? It’s for this weekend… do you think there’s any chance at all that she likes raw oysters?”

_I should have known!!_

“Oh… oh my God!! Abby, so last Sunday was actually your idea???”

“Jeeez, a thank-you-I-owe-you-my-life would have been just fine!! Now come on honey, hurry up now so I can bring you back to Carol!”

 

 

Y: Carol

 

Now there’s a few things we have to burn

Set our hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift

And every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips

And I was making you a wish in every skyline

(How big, how blue, how beautiful?

How big, how blue, how beautiful?)

And meanwhile a man was falling from space,

And every day I wore your face

Like an atmosphere around me

The satellite beside me.

(How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by Florence Welch)

 

-

 

Gingerly, Abby shoved her through the kitchen door with a little wink and… well, more or less just told her to sort herself out – “Welp, that’s been so fun but I gotta go hang out with my goddaughter now, see ya in a bit!”

Therese glared at her retreating silhouette and came face to face with this one guy who was clutching some chives in his palm. Waving them around and stepping closer to where she now stood by the industrial dishwasher – “Excusez-moi madame, la cuisine là n’est que pour les équipiers. Est-ce que vous pourriez rester dans la salle à manger s’il vous plaît?”

“Uhhh…”

Another guy popped his face up – _This one is Antoine, right?_ – And, oh, promptly smacked Guy Number One not-too-softly right across the back.

“Eh mon gars, t’as pas lu les messages sur notre groupe Whatsapp ou c’est comment? C’est pas une cliente là, elle est là pour Big Boss.”

_They have a group chat on Whatsapp…? And they’ve been talking about her and Carol?_

_???_

Turning to her, Antoine grinned and waved his hand down toward the stairs as means of a belated welcome-to-La-Bûcherie – “Salut, elle est en bas, tout au fond du couloir vers nos chambres froides… Est-ce que tu pourrais lui dire en passant que la prépa est prête pour ce soir s’il te plaît?”

_Alright…_

Still confused, Therese walked down to the basement as their bickering floated further – further and _further_ away out of earshot into such a state of fuzzy silence all enveloping. Walked toward her much-anticipated destination waiting by the end of this hallway.

Walking, walking and trying to make out the shape of her beloved in front of the open door of their stock room: Carol turned to her all at once upon the first sounds of soft footsteps, blinked and smiled as warmly as all the suns hanging around their world. (Just like Abby’s but different, would that make sense now? Same but two completely separate things as black and white paint lying unmixed.)

She made everything so easy.

“Therese…? What a nice surprise, I didn’t think that I’d see you before later in the evening!! Those guys upstairs let you come down here?”

She walked closer and let her blonde peck her once, twice softly on each cheek with a smile in her upturned palms to offer right over. _Have this, this thing right here I have in my heart of hearts only for you. Have everything!_ – “Yeah, also I think they mentioned something just now about having a Whatsapp group chat for the staff team? Is that right? Did you know that they’ve been gossiping about me and you?”

“Gosh… darling, please don’t mention about it. I think one of them even put pictures of me holding an eggplant onto Snapchat this one time. An eggplant of all things!!” – Carol groaned out loud, making her giggle and making her press even _closer_ now to ask for a proper greeting right on the lips: just like the way she'd been daydreaming all over inside her head for the better part of the morning.

Therese clung over both shoulders by the middle of their sweet, sweet kiss toward its end and then some more, clinging and pushing. Threw all her upper body’s weight into open arms and was so so _delighted_ to feel their grip tighten up – which meant that, oh, she was literally sweeping her feet right off of the ground…! _And those biceps! Where did they come from??_ (Purred happily and moved her face into the crook of her neck.)

“Alright chérie, I’m almost all done now. Will you sit down here and keep me company just for a little bit more? How’s your day been so far?”

Parting from wonderful muscles with a fleeting pout, she settled onto a high stool, popped open her take-away tiramisu and wiggled into place as Carol went back to checking on all her produce’s quality and the likes of it – “It was alright… Abby came over to– you would _never_ believe it, ask Gen out on a date!! You know, I’ve never imagined them together but now that I’m actually thinking ‘bout it, they do look sort of cute together… Do you think… Carol,… is she moving too fast or it’s just us who were slow?”

“Oh, Abby’s just being Abby, as per always… She has her own pace around certain things whenever she wants them to happen, I guess you’ve noticed that by now haven’t you?” – A soft snort sounded out as Therese watched her distractedly swipe blond curls all behind both ears; a lovely play of motions shining in this light even when she didn’t intend it to be so – “And she did tell me about her little… let’s say… crush? on Gen quite a while ago. Quite dramatic of her if I do say so myself… She finally came over to the bookstore to ask the lady out?”

She waited… waited and dug into the dessert: here, dark cocoa powder spreading for them to begin with the new journey… that morning she so longed to be able to touch the silky blue dress beneath all fingertips… if only she had just _asked_. What if she had just gone ahead and asked to know its feel?

The conviction it’d taken for her heart to delve right through the place to tell Carol that she ‘liked her so-much-more than she would a new friend’.

Sweet cream waiting down under? The macaron for two that’d led toward so many more things they decided to share with each other between fits of laughter – mornings and nights; those breakfasts through lunches running down smooth as rum. If only she had just _asked_ , damn this, asked and turned it faster than the pace she actually did come to…

“Dearest?” – Carol was now crouching down to inspect the huge wooden crater full of carrots and calling out for her to… what? To continue with their conversation? ( _She didn’t hear what I just asked?_ ) Boxes got switched around for better rotation: one stacked on top of the other so seamlessly with just a pull of both arms, no huff no nothing coming from her blonde in-between all that exertion.

 _So that explains the biceps all bulged out I felt just now!_ – Therese ran taste buds across some softened ladyfinger biscuits lingering, smiled and stared at the figure she’d pulled underneath her own body last night in the apartment just a short metro trip away from here… Last night, last night… somehow so long ago across the span of all the lost time they'd dropped through the nothingness of this galaxy… So terribly _slow_! – “Do you need my help?”

“No no honey, I’ll come right out! Just this one last thing… There!!” – Closing the door with a soft click and Carol sauntered over with both palms on the back of her stool, tapped once-twice against the wood and chuckled so bright when she dutifully opened her knees for the blonde to step right in-between.

Soft black slacks touched inner thighs and Therese sighed out from back down her throat; decided to push and push away all stray thoughts for the both of them to enjoy this moment alone… Mere hours ago… yes, she who had basked in the glowing morning light of Javel, gold for two through all windows: Carol-and-Therese, sitting oh so very still on bed and drinking in the sight of skin disappearing into fabrics down to every last drop. Skin just a layer away beneath what she was caressing now – for once oh-not-too-slowly.

She handed the sweet treat over ( _Pick me up?_ ), pulled some fingers through belt loops to hold onto and thought of all the math it’d take to be able to go back in time to speed up their run. Maybe… maybe that'd be just the thing to make her woman happy, the happiest on this Earth like she so rightfully deserved; and seeing it for real would make Therese twice as glad in turn – for all it was worth, her vaguest of knowledge of time travel, _this_ theorem in particular had never been hard for her to believe in from all the way down within herself. Not even once, oh no, and that was that…

_I just want to make you happy… Are you happy with me? Will you tell me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Excusez-moi madame, la cuisine là n’est que pour les équipiers. Est-ce que vous pourriez rester dans la salle à manger s’il vous plaît?" - Excuse me ma'am, the kitchen here is for staffs only. Can you please stay within the eating room?  
> “Eh mon gars, t’as pas lu les messages sur notre groupe Whatsapp ou c’est comment? C’est pas une cliente là, elle est là pour Big Boss.” - Hey dude, you didn't read the messages on our Whatsapp group or what? That's not a customer, she's here for big boss.  
> “Salut, elle est en bas, tout au fond du couloir vers nos chambres froides... Est-ce que tu pourrais lui dire en passant que la prépa est prête pour ce soir s’il te plaît?” - Hello, she's downstairs all the way down the hall near our cold chambers. Can you please tell her in passing that the preparation is all ready for tonight?  
> -  
> I did some thinking and set this story to have 21 chapters (21 is a very pretty number)! This chapter will have its part-2.  
> The title here is the name of a book by Haruki Murakami, and it's simply amazing! Maybe more or less the first book I read about wlw feelings if I do say so myself, though of course just like The Reader by Bernhard Schlink I mentioned in chap13, I'll be careful-ish in putting it under the romantic genre. It's not at all about space nor time travel, though I think a lot of you do know of/or maybe remember the Sputnik 1 satellite? Its launching, its existence and everything in-between... from articles I was able to find it sure sounded like such an unforgettable event of one's life... Writing this came to be through various mental connections I have in me: time and space travel, 'orbiting' both literally and figuratively, the 'romance' Murakami brought me and this chapter being divided into 2 smaller parts: X and Y the beginning of a math/statistics equation for chap18. I hope it makes sense one way or another for you!  
> At any rate, I enjoyed this a lot and so if you're here I hope you have too! :)  
> Cheers!


	18. ? = α + βX + γY + δZ + ε

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Miss_K - if you're still reading, the first part came to me after a nap so much like your 3rd chapter of 'Truth or Drink'! If you're not bothered, this is a gift and I hope that you'll enjoy it as something inspired by you on some level :)  
> The little poem at the beginning was something I sort of learned by heart a long time ago, I can't seem to be able to find its true author to credit properly.  
> And - hm, one last thing before you start, be careful for the little links I embedded onto words at 2 or 3 points throughout the chapter! I figured that putting references that way might help with the flow of your reading...  
> And I hope you'll enjoy this now!

Z: Therese

 

The household god dances at 6,

He wears wooden clogs

He brings a plane across to express the size of the sky

Pulling worlds through trees

into clear blue

And lights a fire under our bed.

(from ‘Wake Up’)

 

-

 

For what should be the umpteenth time now just shy out the destination of Rindy’s bedroom, she stopped up so short… With a lone thought whipping past forward sparkling as stars. Checked for the umpteen-et-un time, alas, to make sure that the little girl was settling down all well and comfortable in bed

_The blanket isn’t chafing ‘round her neck now is it?_

before pushing open through the threshold, bravely, onward with her way into the living room.

Without a single hint of rush in-between stage times now that there’d come the chance for the both of them to be one, Therese felt – sizzling with temptation, oh, more so than saw – stretches of blue wonders grow to take it all in… brand-new. Through five lines belonging to any other tune with a scale, with lyrics or the softest twirl of clouds on fingertips clearing: what would tonight turn out to be, was anyone at all aware that her heart was hammerin’ on one beat of a trip furiously running red-hot as cars on the inside of walls?

Such were those calm promises, such thrills that one might wish to forget one’s own name underneath it all (and to melt out underneath Carol, suds or bright foam, it was to her choosing with the most colorful of baits on-hold): so, so very gentle and pleased put right next to their own.

Much too soon, there? Or maybe not: for she supposed that after everything – trades of touches by coffee with elbows all linking, little sounds in-between pushing back and forth deep in slumber… Yes, _everything_ and another version of that word that could sing out to be even better toward shells of greedy ears, hadn’t they been taking some time so slow to handpick secrets up all stairs every other step of the way…?

All in due time, la durée du temps. If that wasn’t sincerity warm and pure crooning straight out from the pits deepest of hearts, oh, how else were they to name feelings? Should they at all?

Feeling strangely parched all of a sudden, she longed for water, for some more ease to come naturally.

For sometimes certain things were best left in shrouds, in mysteries, sounds of a life for two to-be-unveiled as they strolled on and on alongside forward through spaces and the shape of a new moon. Now, pray-tell if that so was the case, why not one more music sheet of whatever it was that they shared, then, to add up onto the ever-growing pile?

“ _My_. Look at you… Where do you think you’ll run off to, all dolled up like that? Do be careful lest _someone_ doesn’t want to behave and takes a bite right in, you know?”

But didn’t her one get it at all? There was just Therese-and-Carol… had-ever-been or was-to-be here or now… Together by the living room alive. Who else in this whole wide world of theirs would she ever want to dress up for like this?

And what about all this makeup? For those eyes only, yes, by the Gods… (Let Carol grow unable to help herself but to come closer!) She smiled with hope against all hopes that her lips looked like enough of an invitation – enough for a few stolen kisses of bites full with intents before it’d finally be time for all curtains to hang drawn beside their bed. _Well?_

Stepped out the coastline of thoughts to fall straight into soft arms twirling.

Chuckling at bright colors of eagerness as showed, her blonde beamed on and patted her thighs with a hum sounding terribly smug – “ _Well_ , that’s that. Now… would you mind settling on ‘round here? So I’ll remember that I’ve already got such a sweet, sweet, sugary-sweet little thing ready right under my palms?”

Movements alongside red cheeks, Therese lit those two candles on the remaining piece of birthday cake once again before snuggling closer against her woman’s legs: satisfied by skin pressed flush with this short moment through-and-through for the time being. For now, for now… oh, wouldn’t they look at such a scene?

Back then in the home miles and miles too far separating bricks against pavements… as she grew up – how _odd_ to keep on thinking it over, through the years, like grasps of vines of a living thing dearly loved beyond measure – impossible now trying to forget that there’d once been a small field of flowers by the main building. Nothing more or less. Images, terrific feelings of twin rouge dancing on in front of their hold for some long minutes almost casting shadows; tiny candles of heat dance, dance, _dance_.

Running in dreams.

A need to part through carnations with someone through the lands, through memories of plucking petals love-me or love-me-not before arms shifted over shoulders to secure themselves as Carol leaned on forward for a final blow (sending red away). And – what? She’d like to think that [the pair of fire](https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/peter-paul-rubens-aurora-abducting-cephalus) would go elsewhere now, happily, together always. She’d like to think so very much.

“What did you wish for your birthday?”

Fingers curled just the right shade of tight, just enough to tease – “Now wouldn’t you want to know, huh my little explorer? But shhh, I’ll zip it or it won’t come true!”

“Well?? Tell me anyway, and I’ll try to make it true…?”

On a count of one-two-three, soft kisses got pushed all over brows and cheeks wandering astray, so insistently, so firm as means of an answer – maybe, or its own brand of a promise to pull her right down into trouble… _Delicious_ trouble was what it was, the very thing that they were luring each other along easy as air before their night was through. Hook, line and sinker! _Gotcha!_

“You keep on being like that and I’ll be up to no good _soon_! Sit still now will you…? And do you want to eat some more of the cake?”

For all that it was worth, Therese literally had never felt like being ‘good’ while orbiting their world and she was a-hundred-percent oh so certain that her blonde knew it already – why, knew it far too well like the join of their hands warm together…

So why not??

(Upping the ante) – “Of course, would you please feed me some?”

Sighing amusedly, Carol pressed bodies right in with a swipe through cream before bringing one finger up close for her to be able to catch its taste – “Who taught you to flirt so well there, sweetheart?”

But Therese was far-out too busy wading her way lost into streaks of blond gold to be able to properly respond. Ha. Wouldn’t _she_ want to know?

“Hmm? Should I send grateful flowers or should I go out and start a fight?”

Soft fingertips held onto her chin and she turned to let it be known, to peer deep, deeper down inside amorous shades of blue: for her own or for the feeling of them twining together, it truly had always been all one and the same all this time passing on forward – “Didn’t you know? I get jealous too… all the time. Don’t look so surprised, don’t you know how pretty you are now just prancing all over the world looking like _that_ …? My little big shot… I _will_ fight every last one of them for you to want to stay in my lap like this forever.”

A resolute kiss to seal their quest for warmth, and what was that phrase that her woman kept on repeating not unlike a choir mid-love? What was it? _That’s that_.

“I have to get you to understand… Therese…”

 

-

 

“You do believe me, right…? What I told you just now?”

Well – sure enough, ask-and-you-shall-receive; she’d managed to get down all the way underneath Carol’s skin for quite some time now with smugness shining in spades (But was there… somewhere… a little voice singing that she really wasn’t the one who’d won?) when those golden words sounded out so clear, making every single thing they owed unbelievably soft to the touch.

Pulling their blanket up snug ‘round bare shoulders and her own torso with a glance toward bright blue kept shut in concentration, Therese spent a good, _good_ part of all movements thinking about how she already was starting to miss it so… _Images and feelings…_ – “I’ve been meaning to ask! What was that all about?”

A gentle smile pulled where her favorite face was with palms cushioning, resting on the top of her chest…

And could this be? That it was as though she hadn’t really been able to get her fill of all things Carol for she was transfixed, still, with the way full lips moved ‘round so freely to form shapes and sounds the way they did… Like that, just like _that_ … – “Honey… have you ever looked at yourself? Like really really took a moment to just _look_?”

_Oh…_

“Hmmm?”

Carol swiftly moved up to the side to gather her into tight arms – “What about that Australian giant coming into the bookstore with eyes trained onto you the whole time… the other day? _For you_. God. La douceur que tu es, ça c'est ce qu'on appelle ‘[L’Interdit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWXHMdbRyxU)’, you know[?](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d598fd7e6789364aa28392de3b3bbe63/tumblr_pjjumdX0OS1wpx3zto1_1280.jpg)”

“Nooo, Carol, she was just looking for some titles of books! There wasn't anything!”

“Alright, alright! I’m just saying… The next time I catch her lingering around you though... Hmmmf.”

Huffing into straying locks of gold, she made a cross by the top of her woman’s heart (one promise of curled fingers) and… and. Crooning with hearts out-pouring that such existence of an alleged ‘Australian giant’ had been wiped clean from the entirety of her mind barely five minutes after the passing encounter.

If anything, well… truth-be-told? Out of the two of them, she’d always, always believed that Carol herself was the one who had never ever seen herself on the other side of mirrors (a shade of silver-backed impossibly bright, all sleek from head to toe to be able to reflect wondrous gold.)

On the other side of Therese’s mind…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was enjoyable! My original end-note got too intense and ...maybe a bit weird so I'll leave it in a comment down below if anyone's curious for an extra page of annex...  
> And until next time - hopefully soon :)!


	19. L'Amour Courtois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtly love: a medieval European literary conception of love that emphasized nobility and chivalry. Medieval literature is filled with examples of knights setting out on adventures and performing various services for ladies because of their "courtly love".
> 
> L'Amour courtois: an expression of medieval ages, designating the way to love with courtesy, respect and honesty, his or her partner, with the common goal to reach joy and happiness.

“Dearest Therese, ma plus chère douceur à moi… you are the one for me.

The other day, so sweetly, you asked me to bring home bright flowers the colors of us – right after our bed, late at night – all my irises, chrysanthemums full-blown or a whole lake of water lilies drifting… None, ma chérie, there was none (heavens or hells) that could ever come out to sing the way you so do… So… here, would it warm you instead with these words I own? Here: pulled straight out of my lungs and out of my heart.

Oh, _oh_ , but for feeble me to dare speak of love… true and pure as you are, do let me try it anyhow: love! Love, the love I know is something so warm in the hands, like a bird,

Like the sweetest little cherry I have ever stumbled upon across the tens of thousands of all footnotes possible, the delightful way you fit so still right inside the palms of my hold…

And where are you now? What are you up to? Right this moment as we speak: this time of the day, always thinking… Thinking, breathing and living through those eyes not unlike wonders unto this Earth, through the steady frames of your camera panning… You _must_ know how I love all of that, how I want all of you all for me and myself alone – you make life oh _so_ damn easy for me to unravel right by the seams, bursting, did you know of this?

I’ll put this (folded in four for each and every chamber of my heart you built) under the pillow while you’re out there conquering the whole wide world one full-on click of a snapshot at a time: not mine, no, not my world for you are it. My world. My world fell into the warmth of your hands that day, my love, do you remember like the way I can? One pass of a glance your soul and I was all ready to surrender all lights green or blue, these patches of woodlands with heavy summer rain out-pouring – to be alone, alone with you until all words rinse white off of their meaning and there you are, with me, as I am with you and we can so go on to run to just about anywhere together… Heavens or hells…

…All soaked in dew…

I’ll wrap you up (my enlightenment) with lace and silk the finest threads, wind and wring it like happiness herself against my skin until all things ours come to be the dark-red shade of Bordeaux wine – You do remember, don’t you? That night we drank so hastily there was nothing left to do but to sink right down, right out toward the ring of all bottles and stay there forever curled up in one? My God, let me bare my heart now all out for you time and again the way you so wish to eat it up. Let me love you, _now_ , for our bodies are mere vessels that cannot contain all the things we long to give… Of this, I am sure you do know so well, my love. Your eyes, hands and all the pretty little sounds we pull out of each other: don't you think for a second, there, that they can't forever be found in this heart of mine, in me. All your gifts, in me.

Me, me, me me _me_. _You_. Us…

One time I dreamed of us, my dearest, saw us all bare as new curling on grass somewhere far away, somewhere… anywhere, real or imagined… Sweetly, I can just now hear your voice sing out with great marvel right this moment as my words stay on runnin’ on forward toward the lines: What? What is it that you would say, what is it that would make my veins skip a beat so warm for crying out loud?

“Oh Carol, my Carol, we do meet in dreams? Us?” _Of course_ my sweetest night shine, of course we do. Dreams, all of them traveling right through the ruins of space and time: all of them traveling right through joint valves splaying us both open to the warm breezes of summer airs. Are you imagining, are you, all the things that I'm saying?

Hopeful dreams the tint of oracles over-and-over for I’m too taken to let you on along with the stars where you came from even just for some few hours a night while we lay to rest – I won’t let go… No. No, lest they love you too much to fling you back down into my arms come the morning rays (and love comes so easy when it comes to you). We are awake and then we are in dreams, late at night, do you believe in me or believe in this?

One time I dreamed of us, my dearest, this second turn hazy as any first: saw us, yes, kissing and rolling by the little barn made all in heaven – a twin pair of springtime firefoxes mid-love gleefully playing house all great smiles and tiny barks; happy or glad, red and wise alike… With trees for bare arms, we weave through gold lands treacherous but kind: in this one, I’ll be your serpent strung around like clothes – of Eve’s most faithful of kinds, of mercury twining with your gown waiting to settle down so steep inside your skin with gazes that keep on going on and on forever and ever.

Oh, let us go there tonight… Together visiting our world… in dreams, in my heart or else, with our eyes wide shut anticipating. So would you come on along, now, with me by your side? Would some or any of that please your well at all, my love?

Wonderfully yours, all yours, much like the way all life’s sunlights are. I, too, I call myself yours,

Your Carol”

 

 

[Conversations between Beauty and the Beast](http://dailyclassicalmusic.tumblr.com/post/59092924443)

 

From behind stilled shoulders as her darling _devoured_ words one right after another… another, and then some more… Carol was in the middle of toying with a stray lock of dark hair between bodies when Therese’s back shifted against her front – ever so minutely, there – shifted and let her know that the short letter had finished its job for now trying to convey all the things on this Earth she held: Some hundreds… no, tens of thousands of pieces and tiny cuts of honeycombs proffered like unsung mantras came the light of broad sunrays.

At long last… Underneath all blankets for this one thick sheet of winter of theirs, her darling let out a long, _long_ sigh… rolled on over for the both of them to come face to face with slow grins out-stretching – settling and touching on their floaty bed white with clouds, with feelings or with squares of papers… it truly had all been all one and the same (oh, the same mystery of love!)

“Carol, oh my. Oh Carol, that was so…” – All soft hands with a sweet voice spinning ways like rock honey, love taking shapes the one true color of pooled lights – Therese fell right into her body for skin and flesh to come in greetings: no bones, no barriers whatsoever for there was just this one intense need in them to get nearby, oh so _so_ much more nearer…

“You just… just went on ahead now and got me all tongue-tied Carol, you did. I just can’t seem to think sometimes… sometimes, whenever you hold me like _this_! And that letter!!”

With real arms for now (instead of all the trees, then, on the surface of this field who stood on still to clap their hands), she firmly pulled Therese closer right unto her own – not roughly, God no! Never! – just oh _so_ very firmly with intents and purposes; aware that her darling had time and again made known a certain amount of …affinity for tiny gestures exactly of this kind. Bearing this exact quality of touches of muscles. _And I’ll give you whatever it so is that you want…_

Well, sure enough, if the squeaky little ‘Hmmf!’ and fingers flying upfront to hold onto biceps were to be any valuable indication at all, sparkly green eyes for now had also started to look so… so warm and fuzzy, there, with shots of a daze blooming on all over right by the seams. Almost spilling, almost pushing forth. _So_ warm and delightfully fuzzy, indeed, that she was gladly inviting wandering skin for it to slither everywhere – a most curious, lovely little snake if she’d ever know one the way they knew each other, now kissing in the dark like satiation for red lips wild as berries. If only that was the case for the both of them, though, all full tongues and boyish teeth: if only _this_ could ever come to be just the slightest bit, the smallest amount of the ever-oh-so-called ‘satiation’ howsoever!

Records scratched: her darling let out a soft yawn, glued one palm decisively right against the patch of bare skin on her lower nape unhidden by fabrics and carved out her own sleeping place for tonight (halfway on top of Carol as per usual, but alas! One wasn’t to complain if one was to be given such a lovely chance fallen from the air, of this she’d learned)

Yawned again oh so terribly endearingly and finally let her voice be heard all over sinking down low on this warmer side of a midnight’s chill. Warmer side of their midnight bed – “Think I read it much too fast, actually… Why did I do that? Why are words from you so hypnotizing?? Carol, oh, I’ll never be able to read it for the first time ever ever again!”

Kissing the top part of such a beloved nose currently in the middle of frowning up with plain ol’ wistfulness shining, Carol gently shushed to keep the air all still… for it was time for bed, now, time for sleep and time for dreams: just the thing she’d promised each other that they’d always have…

“I’ll write you some more, how does that sound now, huh my darling little kitten? I’ll write you _so_ many letters you’ll end up just having to go buy yourself a whole new bookstore to keep everything all properly stocked up. How does that sound to you?”

Crooning sweetly, sweetly, pleased with such visions and compromises: her darling whispered the last words before going warm with sleep and with Carol, with everything spiraling down into mute darkness one tight hug of a cocoon shell – “If you prefer Dream-Therese more than me though… I’ll go have a few choice words with her tonight. So you’d better be careful… Carol…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is! One way or another, I consider this the (natural?) end of my little story, no plot, no structure for the majority of its course... just me typing away and thinking of songs; and so chap 20 and 21 will be leg room for a fun thing I'll have C+T do eventually... maybe when the sky's somewhat warmer than the way it currently is :)  
> Recently I restarted my little blog, so if you've enjoyed something I mentioned throughout the length of this story/enjoyed the way I talk (?) or just wanna chill, if you want to, you can come on to muongtrinh.tumblr.com and maybe there you'll find something fun, something new to look at :) my instagram is also at @muongtrinh, I've posted several things there but all in all, it's really not much...  
> So! Adios :) I also have been thinking of (maybe) starting up a new story, too, a bit more different than this, but!!! Enough words for now, it's now time for dreams :)  
> Cheers!


	20. Le Temps des Cerises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The temptress with a golden cherry in her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mais il est bien court, le temps des cerises,  
> Où l'on s'en va deux cueillir en rêvant  
> Des pendants d'oreilles  
> Cerises d'amour aux robes pareilles, tombant sous la feuille en gouttes de sang...  
> Mais il est bien court, le temps des cerises  
> Pendants de corail qu'on cueille en rêvant...  
> (Le Temps des Cerises, the rendition by Tokiko Kato for Studio Ghibli's 'Porco Rosso')
> 
> The link can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFtI2OPJLME), and I'll leave a rough translation for it down in the end notes :-)

(Once seduced, now Carol felt herself pressed deep beneath desire.

Desiring, now Carol longed for her own chance to seduce.)

Like a destination, well and wholly beloved by every heart involved: here, here was where life lived, deep inside tree trunks; how love could and did feel like ten handfuls of tiny streams tiptoeing over the rocks… (Kissed and _kissed_ beyond measure!). Mapped, gotten known then dearly traveled all throughout time and time again, within deep-red veins steep inside the heart or within the hallways of the palace of one’s mind.

_Here_ : maybe a sleepy old town, yawning with its cuckoo clock stopped and serene – neatly tucked-in between dust and forests; A city one passed by and could not stop thinking about all those linings on the roofs even as years and years and moss-green decades had long since lived well past its life. Waiting, always waiting. Waiting to be able to come home again, green as eyes and all-shiny as the shades of love.

_Maybe_ all of this and then some more, then, seduction – _seduction_ , in the purest sense of this one singular word – was but a physical site waiting to be revisited from glances of the eyes… waiting and knowing. Acquainted. A soft whisper in the dark as sleep fabrics lay loose all around all over the bedroom floor: _Come here, come on now will you… Lie and be with me…_

Nudges to steer one’s beloved down and toward the way of the tourist route as well as suggestions for the most perfect song for the couple to end all of this dancing tonight. A rose, dipped deep amidst perfume or a lovely kiss, by any other name…

As midday made room to haughtily sit atop of everyone’s salt-washed hair (well reaching half-past eleven) to watch at life, Carol found herself practically _melting_ all of her limbs into a puddle right in the middle of this beach towel big enough for two… lazy and keen… Slowly, oh so very slowly, just like that, melting with her whole body flattening out the way only the softest of all kittens could ever manage to do…

Content, yes, happy and in love with the warmth nesting beneath their own fur. Well fed, expertly kissed and surrounded in the hold of such good hands, now what else could a gal like her possibly want to ask for in life?

Fully pulling away now from the last remnants of a very, very lovely nap in all these shades just below the sun, Carol propped herself up on both elbows and started to look her way around – trying to spot the darling face of the tiny (beautiful) one who'd stolen then owned her heart. _Where in the world have you run off to now, my sweetest thing?_

If they knew each other well enough – and she’d love to believe that that was the case!, Therese probably was still out there… somewhere among the crowd… with her eyes stayed glued behind the lens of her camera and ten toes wandering ‘round to flirt with thick sand. Humming _completely_ inaudibly all in the meantime, the way she always did whenever she thought that there was no one looking.

Images of such a creature like that, all Carol’s, prancing then dancing almost as if she’d take all her sweet time in the whole wide world just to try and be alive, brought over a smile for it to stay sketched right onto her lips.

The only problem she could think of now off of the top of her head here was that this beach towel was way, _way_ too big, too lonely without the both of their bodies together, really. Sitting Therese right inside her pocket then driving the both of them out here to the coastline for some much-needed downtime (as well as all of this salt in the air, truth be told) was proving to be unbelievably _rewarding_. Of course, while her darling had always been nothing but the mellow type, sweet sugar, soft like a cube of marshmallow on fingertips; there really was just something … _different_ , now, apparent in the way she seemed to be gliding across and around all over the surface of this beach.

In one quick movement, allez hop – _smooth_ and hopefully alluring, if that, to all eyes involved, Carol pushed the pair of sunglasses up and over her hair to be able to press her vision further toward all the looser ends of this horizon. How to describe it properly? Describe her lovely Therese… most loving while being loved or vice versa? Or what else, what other adjectives now trying to paint up a picture to slip right into lockets bearing the shape of her ever-beating heart?

_Oh. Oh… my, there you are._

Her heart literally skipped a beat at that, eyes zooming in within the span of a fraction of one short second in time. So all these singers knew what they were doing, weren’t they, whenever they sang all their love songs…

Slowly walking around, Therese now was standing almost directly in front of her, a distance of maybe a whole of twenty footsteps or so away. Not too nearby like the way Carol would have loved… but not completely so out of reach either… She liked the view well enough, she supposed, sitting and lounging all alone over here on this big towel now that her darling had all at once _become_ the sparkling view. From afar, her dark-haired beauty was having one hand up to shield both eyes away from jealousies of the glaring sun: a few seconds of standing still…

It then got lowered down in order to support the body of her camera, now in use. _What else do you see whenever you open yourself up like that, my darling, up toward the world?_

Some more wandering, more moments of looking absolutely adorable, so much that all of her heart suddenly felt like mushy soft wax that lingered when the lights blew out – a little stamp on the back almost invisible, branded forever first in the privacy of their life, and then inside that neighboring bookstore altogether as one.

So that was that, really, summer thoughts running ‘round and ‘round trying to hide the colors of themselves from within lazy circles of the winds. Back to all this elaborate plan-to-seduce that she’d been up-and-brewing almost non-stop, now:

Most of the time it took so, so little to be able to lure Therese deep into her arms, and _of course_ while she was proud of this fact – intensely so, beyond measure and comparisons – that didn’t mean that she would ever want to stop hand-picking out all the details, all her movements trying to make it _right_. Careful, even more careful than that, still… A ‘casual’ pop of her hips on a cozy morning usually was all that it’d take for things to go down (and delicious), but, see, it _had_ to be all the more better now since she also had cared enough to slip her way into the prettiest set of bright-red bikinis hidden in the deep ends of her closet, lying in wait.

Waiting and knowing… sizzles of the air agreed now with all of their might and all of their heat passionate up from the sky. Oh, this really was going to be _fun_. Grinning now to herself all alone (kitten at long last working up the courage to invite her canary, peaches and cream, to step the rest of her way through the threshold and press Start on their game); Carol untucked the bath towel – that up until this moment had been covering her lower half for a meager slice of modesty – pushed away from lively colors and had it pooled aimlessly to the side of her body. _Aimlessly_ , of course, because since when did people ever fold up their clothes mere moments before falling their way right into soft beds?

Looked down and already _in love_ with what she was seeing, right now and right this moment. Only heavens knew how it’d short-circuit the heart of her beloved… bringing out stutters, such endearing redness or more from deep within smooth cheeks. And, well, if she played her cards right within the next half hour or so, then hopefully by the end of everything it wouldn’t be _just_ the heart (innocent and kind all the same, served raw with sweets piled onto a crystal plate) she’d tease that she had been dreaming for… All day long…

Turned around to rest on her front: oh, how this so felt _marvelous_ on all bared skin, Carol settled down and tried for the right posture that she _knew_ would show off the nice curve of her buttocks, all hidden in thin threads for now.

Ripe like a red fruit, sweet with young life and with a confident little smirk going hands in hands always. Carol set her face down onto the crook of an elbow, relaxed and started listening to adorations of the Earth passing on along the short run between her beach towel and the waves where Therese still stood – passing, and traversing the distance kissing beginning and end. Now… well, now she waited.

_Come on now, why won’t you… Take your time, but don’t let it be forever…_

-

 

A hand started to tickle its way, motions passing on along the length of her jawline (soft with themselves at first… and then shy… shy like tiny dancers) and Carol felt herself wake up for the second time – with a shift of their bodies around each other like a pair of puzzle pieces up in the sky – having fallen asleep all anew while waiting for her darling to come back and join her here on their beach towel.

_Well, then… That really wasn’t so seductive of me now was it…_

She stirred and greeted the bare knee right in front of her face with a little peck welcome: Therese was sitting cross-legged, demeanor all painted with a smile, soft glints in her eyes and yet another one of those trademark inaudible humming songs… Looking lovely and oh so _so_ worth the lengthy wait ever since forever-ago – “Oh you, there you are. Enjoying the water and the sun?”

Bending down, her darling gave a tap or two on the shoulders in lieu of a response: some quick movements ensued and Carol got rewarded with a kiss as her blond head now was resting in the warmest lap she herself had ever known… Soft, salty with attentions from the sun and all-year-round delicious, no matter the time or day.

Thank goodness that there was no sand involved anywhere around their bodies, for she _knew_ for a fact that that’d quickly shoot all this lovey-dovey mood down no matter the impressive puppy-doggy look that shade of emerald green could sport sometimes. No sand trying to permanently invite itself into awkward places… the bikini set was showing what asked to be shown with her body draping out in this angle like this… and her beloved was finally, finally back here where everywhere rightfully belonged. Small victories added up in the long run.

Carol linked their fingers into an endless loop, tucked the joined palms closer against her neck then pressed as much of her face against it as humanly possible – the palm trees were all singing cheerfully in the middle of their own recital en plein air, it truly had been so long since the last time she felt this still and carefree under the twisting winds of Earth. Therese seemed to be sharing this same peaceful bliss with her, all their little tandems filled with smiles always.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about?”

Green eyes blinked and her darling bent a little lower to be able to peer at her more closely – “Oh…! I got something for you, actually. Here you go.”

Introducing a pretty seashell now sitting snug on the other hand of her beloved, the one that wasn’t being held steadfastly against her neck (always, their heartbeats always sounded like one same rhythm each and every time she kept them this way, with wrists tucked neatly against love bites old and new on the pulsing skin). The shell was drawn the soft color of coral pink, most of its patterns had been smoothed out by the turns of endless time, by hungry water asking for kisses day and night. What was left showed a beautiful contrast between the painted shade and multiple ridges out-flaring toward the opening as well as all these uniform little bumps running up along the lengths.

Sighing as her heart began to pick up its rhythm, Carol took it in her free hand for a closer look – “It’s so beautiful, chérie… You found it tucked deep in the sand?”

“Not that deep, really… Just, you know, sometimes people don’t really want to stop and look at things for a long time. The way all of life deserves to be looked at.” – Soft fingers ran through her blond locks of curls, dry from the salty winds and a tiniest bit all matted up as well, but somehow Therese didn’t look like she cared – “So I did. Saw it all alone… and took it back here for it to stay with you.”

“It’s really pretty, I’ve hardly seen anything like it before… We’ll put it up on one of our bookshelves at home when we get back there?”

“Mmhmmm.”

In one surprising movement, Therese reached out to take the shell back right off of her palm ( _???_ ) and before she could protest with a displeased frown that apparently looked _very_ scary according to Abby, it… oh. It got placed onto one of the apples of her cheeks, a bit wobbly at first, and then sat itself oh so very still the same reverent way one'd tuck flowers into the crook of her beloved’s ear.

_???_

The weight settled unfamiliar on her skin with its edges raspy… though not at all uncomfortable nor hurtful… Just strange, was what it was, this tickly feeling scratching the sensitive surface of her body.

Therese bent closer, still, to be able to press a kiss onto her other apple… that stayed and tingled long after soft lips had left away with a grin bearing a life of its own – and well, alright, so maybe Carol wasn’t the only one with a game plan to seduce, here… Had never been alone nor lonely any step of the way since the beginning of time…

“I’m thinking… thinking, what am I thinking… It’s so strange, don’t you think? That the sea… _la mer_ , is a woman living in the loving eyes of all the sailors out there. Did you ever think about that at all? That the moon” – Five fingers that were held steady started to wiggle against her neck… not to escape, oh no, they now were wiggling and spreading just to be able to touch their way more and _more_ – “La lune, is the most beautiful woman to all those who can’t sleep.”

She stared upon the quiet look shining in her favorite shade of green, curious about what could possibly come next right after such sentiments like those; All the while secretly hoping that the gentle ministrations playing with her hair would never, never have to come to a stop.

“And, well, why is the sun, le soleil, why is it masculine…? All the other nouns all go with 'la'. They're all feminine.”

Carol blinked.

“Hmm…?”

(A brief silence passed between them, annotated and asterisk-ed by love songs of the winds.)

“Oh” – So Therese was expecting a response to that. Her brain literally blanked, not quite sure if she was supposed to say anything, if at all, lest it sounded silly and too beside-the-point… So silly, even, that it’d snap open their little bubble-for-two and drag her lovely darling out and away off of her dreamy mood.

She squinted, curious and genuinely at a loss for words – “ …I don’t know… Is it a trick question??”

Another kiss onto her cheek, this time seemingly longer than anything that had ever happened between the both of them combined – and _maybe_ it was this seashell sitting on her skin that was distracting her mind away from being able to think clearly. Or maybe she was in love? Put under a potion spell growing more and more powerful than most of life? She really could _hear_ her little heart beating, voicing and repeating its own echo deep in space, though her darling’s was catching up quite nicely along the race in this warm and cozy duet. Fitting for a valse for two. _Never alone nor lonely_.

“Well, I’ve never been a sailor… And I sleep so well whenever I'm right next to you, too. So, I’m _thinking_ now that I don’t and will never need the sun to be feminine because there _you_ already are, with me. My own person for me and myself alone, I don't care for a noun to go alongside with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But the time for cherries is much too short,  
> When we'll be going in two, and going in dreams, to harvest  
> Earring pendants  
> These cherries of love dressing all alike, now falling through the leaves like all the little drops of blood...  
> But the time for cherries is much, much too short  
> These coral pendants that we'll harvest while dreaming...  
> -  
> Um, hi all y'all, I thought that I'd go back here when it was somewhat warmer in the air... and in my head at the time I wrote the last chapter I actually meant, like, mid april or the beginning of may or whatever, so you can imagine my surprise on the 13th of february upon walking out of school... having to loosen my scarf and unbutton my coat because the sun was hitting hotly against the back of my black pants... the first sunny day really did happen 2 whole months before it was supposed to do just that, annually... So that's what's up with climate change... I hope that this has been nice to read to all of you.  
> -  
> Anyhoo, I hope that winter, and life in general, has been kind with everyone... or it will be soon. Fingers crossed. I do highly recommend watching anything made by Studio Ghibli (except for 'Grave of the fireflies' unless you really, really want to cry), for it usually is very kind on the heart. I was SO surprised to learn, just 2 weeks ago, that Cate did the voiceover for a character for the English version of 'Ponyo on the cliff'... Like... omg, what's next now? You gonna sing Kpop one day?? Huh Cate? Gonna be picking oolong tea up in the mountains using chopsticks and chopsticks alone...?  
> -  
> Until next time! :)


	21. Mouvement de Menuet // Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much in the way of an 'epilogue', I have to say, since I can't seem to write the feeling of 'finality'... But... here it is :-)
> 
> The music I chose for this chapter is either  
> this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbtZteXmKLc  
> the same thing on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/66BbVbKWynsuxAmjXBgqnV
> 
> or this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFub-YFZYM8  
> the same thing on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0AQod4VnKykTp2bIeyttyF  
> (I just can't make up my mind)

For so, oh, _so_ many reasons not yet known to mankind, Therese was awake now… ( _at what cost?_ ), and yet all the world surrounding her was still fast asleep, lying there in the darkness all so deep and blue. She reached out with a curious palm, force of habit, and was glad beyond measure when fingertips settled on soft skin instead of cold and empty bedsheets.

During the long hours of bed, the sky had shifted, and moved alongside a pace all of its own – to finally arrive at this shade several tones warmer than pitch black – but it still was nowhere near the time they needed to get up, get dressed and get on with a new day, now.

Then came this low rumbling sound from another land so far away, steadily marching through and toward their space in bed together. Thunders cracked, snapped open for sparkling halves and pieces to get all scattered with the stars… Little seeds of the golden light ready for rain to water down upon: of course, of course. Maybe rain was coming over sometime soon, and maybe when it did it’d leave them a gift out on the top of the handrail of their wind-kissed balcony.

Therese was awake now ( _oh Gosh… why…?_ ), and well, here she was, currently feeling all kinds of annoyed about that fact.

So as it turned out to be, she’d been lured out from the depths of all of her swirling dreams by something… something akin to a trick, or this time maybe just a very clever sleight of hand: This _something_ was lightly – yet repeatedly – grazing onto the apple of one of her cheeks, not at all unlike the way little kisses felt. She blinked up into the face of her beautiful culprit who, on top of this latest crime, had _dared_ claim the fluffier pillow last night and not want to listen to any kind of bargain whatsoever.

And so as it also turned out to be, Carol was slowly, but somehow still very enthusiastically rubbing a hand up and down all over her face (no doubt trying to fight the ever oh so loud and demanding naggings of wakefulness). And as a result, her elbow was unintentionally digging onto her skin, thus the mixture of fondness and annoyance it brought on along all over her heart was nothing short of indescribable. It nudged, shifted to and fro to the rhythm of the movement, and woke her up right in the middle of this early morning in spring, in wordless songs, in-between ticks of the clock and inside their thin creamy blanket big enough for two.

“Carol…” – Grumbling out loud, Therese avoided the stray arm and tried to inch her way closer: halfway wanting to drag those fingers away and replace them with a kiss so warm, just so the blonde could sink her way back down to bed that much easier… _And stop moving, first of all!_

Halfway still much, much too groggy to bother with anything at all since the lovely promises of go-back-to-sleep were now lying thick in heaps, within reach… piled between thinning clouds, bare skin and might-as-well all the last traces of midnight sweat. Faced with _such_ a dilemma, though, in the end she just tapped her forehead against a clavicle by means of a complaint, _sighed_ and then just lay there unmoving.

Without having to be enticed any further than that, Carol’s arm fell down, touched her nose mid-way down through its journey and then went on to paint a tight loop around her hips; there where it promptly started to stroke patterns of a garden filled with tens of thousands of tiny little roses – “Oh, Therese.”

A yawn cut the sentence in half, kind of like a snug pathway for the both of them to be able to walk alongside green fields. – “Therese. My sweet cat… Why are you awake? At this hour?”

She felt luxurious in the wake of all the love and care life was bathing her underneath this brand new star, spilling thus pouring out onto the rest of her ever-hungry beating heart.

And with that… at long last, oh, springtime’s rain had come. Here and now. The suspense had lifted, and it was with a full sigh filled with joy and satisfaction that she burrowed deep, and deeper still straight into warm arms, snuggling and wishing to stay there forever.

The lightest droplets knocked on from the far side of window curtains… One at first (attempting), and then two, then three, led the way hand-in-hand and invited themselves straight into their bed: all of them felt young, impossibly white to the touch, tiny tiny little unblinking moons with eyes shining the fine shade of mist.

“Soft kitty, warm kitty” – The sing-song voice was low, and just a tiniest bit so hoarse, too – “Happy kitty, sleepy kitty. Mine, mine, mine.”

It reached her ears, greeted with a peck and then melted right away right into soft mush, like candy, like spun sugar – or maybe just like _Carol_ and nothing else at all, however hypnotizing or sweet.

“Carol…”

The palm on her hipbone pressed down for one fraction deeper and further, around the exact same place she’d been gripped alongside passion last night. ( _Last night_. Sweet murmurings. The memory of that moment… oh…, the way they’d kissed when she–)

Therese clung on tightly, reminiscing with stars rising in her eyes.

“My cherry in the sun, I’ll tie your stem into a knot… My fluffy strawberry, my sweet pie. My little cup of Eton mess. Kitty, kitty, kitty.”

“Your pet names are all terrible…”

“Oh?” – That earned her a slap on the hip, all sound but no heat at all – “You think so? Then… now, wouldn’t you want to let go of me if my flirting skill is just _too_ bad? Why is my darling, my meringue, still clinging onto me so damn hard like this?”

_And just what exactly do you want me to say? That I’m only squeezing you up like this, like a big bad piece of sponge only because I am afraid of the dark? Of thunders? Or that the rain outside makes me too cold to go back to sleep without your body all pressed up on mine? Must you really be_ such _a terrible tease to me twenty-four seven?_

Huffing, she wasn’t intending to ever budge, not even just for one half inch away.

_And what else here do you want me to say? That I’m only squeezing you up like this, like right now because I love you so, and I love it so much whenever you sing me songs? Silly as they are…_

But of course, her stillness and silence already were an answer, in and of itself. Without a doubt, she must be grinning now, lazy and slow: Therese didn’t even have to glance up and see it for herself to be sure of that; for whenever her Carol was happy, her whole blue world would just spark up… more so than all and every diamond ring they would ever come to wear. And she would just _know_ , simple as that. Her upper body was arched, thus nudged nearer deep into the joined cocoon of their sweetest embrace.

As the world outside kept on spinning, in order to keep herself steady down on this Earth – right next to this one person whose kisses were warmer than mid-May and better than any kind of flower honey so sweet on the lips – Therese couldn’t help but venture out. Put a palm against the other clavicle her head wasn’t currently resting upon and started hoping that stirrings during bed would not unstick their bodies much too far away from each other.

“Carol… my Carol.”

Wishing that this sound, too, would last, she whispered as heart stems bloomed forth from the tip of her tongue.

Carol sank back to sleep some moments later, well before she could, and the rhythm of her breath was as calming and gentle a guiding foot as any other day: one breathed in, held near while the other stayed back down with a smile and a lingering palm outstretched.

Raindrops pooled closer, so in awe of this spectacle put before their eyes: a step of minuet, now in sync, a lovely dance designed for a faithful pair of hearts.

 

-

 

When wakefulness whispered her name once more – this time with her feeling so much more refreshed and (mostly) all ready to take on another brand-new day – her face was squishing against some type of fabrics that smelled like their fanciest bottle of laundry softener ever.

_Oh… There, there we go. So that extra bit of money on our grocery bill the other day was well spent, after all…_

Alas, and there Carol was: lying propped on her stomach, typing away on her laptop and hugging The Perfect Pillow closely all at the same time. Talk about some good multi-tasking…

But what was that again? Was she seeing these things correctly? It was right there, her blonde was hogging one of her most comfortable t-shirts ever (either bought or found), the one that somehow was perfectly suited for this unpredictable turn of season, both outdoors and in. She squinted, her eyes flitting back and forth behind the thin sheen of grogginess still hovering around up on the top of her head.

Now… Come to think of it, it _almost_ was unfair that while Carol’s clothes always sat just one size too big on her body, with no exceptions at all; this shirt actually looked _great_ on Carol, almost as if it’d truly belonged to her in the first place, scaled out and specifically made for all of her fine lines and curves.

She squinted hard.

_Carol._

Doing the one and only thing that she thought would make sense off of the top of her mind, Therese went ahead and softly punched her all-time favorite bedtime companion on the shoulder nearest to her aim. _Now, there, that’ll show her._

In her defense, though, she did pet the ‘wounded’ area trying to soothe the ‘pain’ immediately afterward, so really, it was fine and all was well.

“Oh… What…?” – Came forth a _very_ exaggerated groan anyway, with a good bit of side-eye as well, just for good measure – “Hi kitty. Already feeling so violent first thing in the morning today? What was that for?”

“It didn’t hurt, right?”

“Not at all honey, but that was …mean of you, yeah. Did you not sleep well?”

She snuggled closer with a yawn, rubbed her eyes until the dull shades of fireworks behind both eyelids started to pop off… and… mostly tried to ignore the way the Hot Librarian pair of reading glasses was sitting up there, all high and mighty, like a whole playground filled with sinful temptation condensed up on the top of Carol’s nose.

Another long, long day to go through before she could touch, bite and then grab her body in for a taste all over again…

Surprisingly or not at all, any further desire to grumble from her part was canceled for her Carol was now looking _way_ too pretty to be real – soaked and framed like the way she was underneath the golden gaze of this morning light like this. Was she aware that even the busy sun was peering in for a look, and to eavesdrop on their voices through ways of the windowpane? Was Therese fully awake, or was it still midnight, then when soft whispers got poured into her heart?

Other than a tiny grin on the edge of her lips, Carol didn’t seem phased by the silence they were lying in, nor by the fact that she was currently staring and burning a love-shaped hole into her side profile: a perfect sculpture carved out and caressed by fingers and kisses alone. Just… how in the world did she do that? Be so devastatingly pretty even as there was no real amount of effort involved in it at all? Was it the glasses, was it the old and worn-out t-shirt sitting snug on her longer frame? Or…

The clacking noises of the laptop’s keyboard stilled down for a moment, accompanied by the sound of an amused huff – “Honey? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Oh, and how could she forget to mention all the details that filled up the overflowing drawers of her heart? How Carol wasn’t really satisfied with the way her own nose was shaped up sometimes – poking and staring into the mirror by the vanity set as they sat to put their makeup on together – but she _loved_ it so much whenever they got playful in bed and it’d graze its way around… Dig and tickle every inch of bare skin available before they both broke out into deep fits of giggles deep into the night.

And while her love didn’t seem all too thrilled about the faint laugh lines that were starting to appear around her mouth (less than an inch beside each edge), she already was looking forward to being able to caress proofs of their joy. Hearts steady, loving and treating them like these precious puddles to pour kisses into the longer they stayed by each other’s side as the years went on.

Glasses-and-t-shirt or not, maybe it was because she had seen her Carol in every light imaginable, thoroughly so, every moment of their daily life, seen her under all the kaleidoscopes of love with all of its reflections to spare?

Blinking, she felt her grumpiness flush out of her system bits by little bits after each and every intake of breath. Melted out, and then replaced by this one other thing from deep within her heart that just would _not_ stop crooning at the sight put right before her eyes.

With an exhale, Carol stopped typing altogether, plopped her face deep into the pillow to yawn before turning sideways for the both of them to be able to hold each other.

“Sooo…? Did you sleep well? Was it me or you who fell back asleep first?” – A palm curled around to pet at whatever it could reach, somewhat awkwardly, restrained by the weird angle of their bodies pushed so closely together.

Therese hummed, and let the movement of her head send through her skin all the things she was too lazy to say as a reply.

“Alright, well… Come on grumpypants, you can have my coffee sitting over there on the nightstand if you want to. It’s hot, still.”

Of course, here came the ritual of hot bean juice before toothpaste or the horrible feel of mouthwash could begin to invade all of her senses (before anything remotely minty at all, as a matter of fact). Coffee, toothpaste, kisses and then breakfast in that specific order, what else could a girl possibly ask for trying to give today a good kickstart?

To show her appreciation the best way she knew how for the time being, Therese pecked her woman quickly and loudly around the jaws, then the lips, and sat up to reach for the mug of hot liquid that would _hopefully_ grant her the ability to form longer and much-more-coherent sentences… Starting riiight about… now.

 

-

 

Several hours later after they’d dropped Rindy off at kindergarten with a winning cheeky grin and a kiss on each cheek good-bye, it was right in the middle of the day when Therese absent-mindedly touched her lips… blinked and remembered something important.

Stalling, she looked around and stepped off into a quieter corner. What was her mind trying to piece together?

This morning, this morning… What had happened this morning that her mind was telling her to revisit?

First of all, the cup of coffee she’d had this morning was kind of sweet – a cube of sugar with two pods of creamer mixed within – just the way she herself liked it best. On the other hand, her Carol always drank her coffee black: unsweetened, but a bit diluted, too, kind of like a hot Americano… strange as she had always been.

But hadn’t she also said “You can take _my_ coffee”?

Disorientated as she always was first thing in the morning (well before her morning routine of food as well as other kinds of goodness), Therese knew that it was hard to mishear since they really had been lying right next to each other… Chatting about all the random things in life with her hanging onto every word that’d waltzed its way out of Carol’s hypnotizing mouth. And now that she really was focusing in on the sweet memory of their time spent together in bed – after that very brief second of violence over an old t-shirt, of course – some of the coffee had indeed been sipped out from the mug. By the time she got to it and started to dunk all of it all down at the speed of light, she could faintly remember seeing several brown marks above the thin mousse collecting up on the top part of her creamy beverage.

_So that means…?_

Standing there unmoving with her camera lowered down, well, this was what Therese came to realize: Carol had actually made that cup of coffee for her when she was still fast asleep… And she’d even sipped to check on its temperature from time to time even though she didn’t like her coffee sugary, not one bit, oh no no – all of that, just to make sure that it’d be to her liking and still hot by the time it reached her lips.

_Oh, my…_

Blushing a little and not even bothering to cover up that fact around her team (oh, for what was the point, really?), she pulled her phone out and sent her person a text message filled full with tiny little heart emojis, “just because”. Maybe that’d help her lunchtime rush hour go by that much easier. On top of that, she wrote herself a reminder note to go buy some beautiful flowers on the way home, and also maybe some new equally fluffy pillows just so they could finally forego the tug-of-war segment of daily routines every night right before bed.

And… last but not least, that shirt really looked _so_ much cuter sitting on Carol’s longer frame, like a second skin… or like a summer dream waiting to be taken off; so maybe for now she could learn to call it a truce and kiss it goodbye. Could she do it? How hard could that be, really? To let it go and let Carol be as smug about it as she’d ever want to, in-love with each other or not at all? _Yes or no?_

It was hard to decide on things like this, of such facts of course Therese was well aware. Sometimes… well, truth be told, sometimes she wasn't totally sure if she could even decide on what to eat for dinner, never mind _this_. But just like springtime’s rain, the thought of saying no to the crook of her fingers (an invitation to come forward with love in her eyes) was just so, so unlikely...

One glimpse into bright blue and their game was over, she'd fallen down deep into its depths.

And so she said Yes, yes to the wardrobe takeover, yes to Carol, and yes to everything else she'd ever want to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... well, hi everyone. This is it, this is 21/21 now :-(
> 
> It's been a bit of time ever since the 20th chapter, so hopefully your life has been nice, fun and healthy above anything else... or it will be soon. Very soon. Fingers crossed!
> 
> I started this story during an odd period of transition of my life (mid August 2018). At that time, I had just decided to put my foot down on a small drinking habit. It was by the end of my summer vacation spent with my parents trying to sort out some of our differences... which, eh, also means that I was (kind of) struggling with the presence of my older sibling physically so near to mine... whom I unfortunately had to 'disown' quite a couple of years ago... among several other issues. It was 2 days before my (long) flight to get back to Paris, and all of a sudden I started to feel this deep need to have something genuine in my hands, that I'll always know that it's mine, authentic and real to my being. I wanted to care for something, to take care of it and to see it grow. And so I told myself, so why don't I start a little project to be able to keep myself company? I then just sat up, went to grab my laptop and started thinking. The motivation was all in all so... simple.
> 
> So, with the context that my childhood wasn't ...fun, I find myself unable to write a lot of things: 'heavy/emotional' scenes, for example... I did try to include some backstory around chapter 17 - 19 ish, one or two chapters mentioning Harge and maybe the whole orphanage thing, but I just winced too much before telling myself that it wouldn't be so nice either if I tried to push myself too far out of the bubble of my comfort zone. And I find it hard to write Rindy, too, I really wish that I could have included her more, given her young age, I guess it's just weird that she never seems to be around... But she is lovely and is loved and will eventually develop in a healthy way, I promise :-)
> 
> And so... life moves on, with all its ups and downs and I'm glad to have been able to learn a thing or two throughout the process of this story. If you have enjoyed these words I call mine, then hopefully we will meet each other again sometime soon, and thank you for having been a part of the audience. À bientôt, et bonne santé :)


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